So tomorrow is v day. Last minute jitters are settling in and I'm not sure if it is just because it's tomorrow up till yesterday it was the right thing to do. Then it hit me. It's happening.
The though of being pregnant just scares me. I don't want to do it again, I don't think my body could hack it, every time me and oh have sex I'm freaked out that I could fall pregnant. I'm on the pill and was 2 days late and freaked out. But am I scared of being pregnant now?
Our original plan after ds2 was wait 5 years and see how we feel yet in my heart of hearts I was happy with 2. Of course the world knew better than me and ds3 is the light in my world. 3 is a lot though for us.
Rent is expensive here, we're still in our 2 bed house and were here for the foreseeable future, when we do finally move up it will only be a 3 bed and were talking over a grand.
It's hard work with 3, like really hard. I just want to enjoy my children growing up instead of being stuck in the baby days.
I think I've always yearned for a little girl, knowing that I won't have a girl, it's a little upsetting. But there's no guarantees. And I always said I wouldn't have another unless I was completely satisfied I would be happy with a boy.
I was so certain we were doing the right thing, I've even had cuddles with 2 newborns this week and I didn't feel that urge you know?
What if I do change my mind? Deep down I don't think I will...
I think it's completely normal to feel the way you do even if you do feel 'done'. I go back and forth with wanting a third so when I'm in my "2 and done" mood I write down exactly why I feel that way and my reasons. Maybe you could write down why 3 works for you etc and then read it back if you ever do feel unsure?
Having a vasectomy is making it final so it's understandable you'd have a last minute oh my God moment! Ultimately though it sounds like you've done what's best for your family and at least you'll have peace of mind regarding falling pregnant again and not you can look forward to your future as a family of 5 :-)
Thank you for you're reply. It went well a do feel ok about it. When oh txt me saying it was done I sighed a little but that's been it really. Yes its final but I feel ok about it. It's done now so no looking back. We can now fully enjoy our family and everything the future has in store for us.
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