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Old Mar 10th, 2016, 01:20 AM   21
x_Rainbow_x
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You sound very similar to what I did when I had my daughter. Her pregnancy was too easy. I had no problems at all. Sickness was manageable and heartburn controllable. I'd spent years trying to have a baby and I found it far to easy, then I had her, looked at her and told my OH no more. I loved her so much I couldn't imagine ever sharing my love with another. I felt like that for a year, then I noticed she was lonely. Kids she played with always had siblings to play with and she always looked lonely no matter what. I knew what it was like to grow up alone even tho I have sisters, they left home when I was small.
I now have a little boy as well with the perfect age gap. they may fight like cat and dog, but they cannot be without each other.

My daughter is also a December baby, and I can assure you they feel more special for it without you having to make a lot of effort. My daughter loves that she gets 2 special days so close together.

Give t a while and a chance for the hormones to settle and those feelings of wanting another will come back.

X



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2016, 21:39 PM   22
Bella1185
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Late to this thread - but OP you're not alone - you are only 5 weeks out, so as others said, you probanly shouldn't make any definite choices now- but I hear you!!

DD is 29 months and since she was born I just knew this was it and I was done! I adore her and LOVED LOVED being pregnant (not a walk in the park of course but felt overall well and happy and healthy nearly the whole time) but I just Can't. Do. The. Newborn/Infant. Thing. Again. Many other reasons too, miscarriages aplenty and...If I'm totally honest, I'm terrified of having an unhealthy baby. Feel like I was so lucky this time, when will it run out? (stupid I know)

It's driven quite a wedge between DH and me. He wants another so bad he mentions it all the time, everyday. He said DH "needs" a sibling etc etc... Hes a great dad, too! I can't fault him in much of anything! But he literally brings it up so much that there was awhile I banned him from talking about it.... People look at me like I'm such an asshole when I say I'm done, but I just know I am.

Dunno why in sharing this...I'm sure it sounds awful.... Didn't mean to high jack post.....but you're not alone.....



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2016, 22:13 PM   23
jessmke
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella1185 View Post
If I'm totally honest, I'm terrified of having an unhealthy baby. Feel like I was so lucky this time, when will it run out? (stupid I know).
My hubby is worried about this too, he says he doesn't know if he could cope if we had a special needs child. He is a great dad and I know he would step up to the plate if it happened, but it is a real worry of his. I keep telling him that the odds of having a healthy child are much greater of the odds of having a child with special needs, but he just can't shake the worry.



 
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Old Mar 29th, 2016, 16:30 PM   24
smurff
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My first pregnancy was a breeze, ended in a 51 hour labour and forceps but before I was even taken to recovery I was asking my husband when are we gonna try for another!. Fast forward a few months and I was certain I didn't want another, I was more than happy with my daughter and I wanted all my time and focus to go on her, husband really wanted another though. I was terrified that my dd would feel pushed out if I had another plus I kept thinking what if something goes wrong in pregnancy, I'll leave my child without a mum. In the end we decided to leave it up to fate. We wouldn't actively try but we wasn't taking precautions either. First time we had sex without protection I fell pregnant!!!! I was honestly terrified and cried for days out of panic but I now have a cheeky little boy aswell as our little princess and I'm so happy we had another, they absolutely love each other to bits and my daughter really relies on her little brother. Only the other day I walked in frontroom and found them cuddled up holding hands watching a disney film. I do though know 1 million per cent that I never want another, my family is definitely complete. My husband feels the same and has had the snip to prove it!



 
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Old Mar 29th, 2016, 16:34 PM   25
smurff
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And one more thing my daughter is Autistic so in other words a special needs child. It's not a reason not to have another one incase you end up with a special needs child. I'm privileged to have my daughter Autistic or not. No matter if your child is born with special needs or not they are still your child. they can be the most loving and caring children just like my daughter. And I feel very lucky that I'm the one she calls mummy.



 
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Old Mar 31st, 2016, 18:46 PM   26
kdmalk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella1185 View Post
Late to this thread - but OP you're not alone - you are only 5 weeks out, so as others said, you probanly shouldn't make any definite choices now- but I hear you!!

DD is 29 months and since she was born I just knew this was it and I was done! I adore her and LOVED LOVED being pregnant (not a walk in the park of course but felt overall well and happy and healthy nearly the whole time) but I just Can't. Do. The. Newborn/Infant. Thing. Again. Many other reasons too, miscarriages aplenty and...If I'm totally honest, I'm terrified of having an unhealthy baby. Feel like I was so lucky this time, when will it run out? (stupid I know)

It's driven quite a wedge between DH and me. He wants another so bad he mentions it all the time, everyday. He said DH "needs" a sibling etc etc... Hes a great dad, too! I can't fault him in much of anything! But he literally brings it up so much that there was awhile I banned him from talking about it.... People look at me like I'm such an asshole when I say I'm done, but I just know I am.

Dunno why in sharing this...I'm sure it sounds awful.... Didn't mean to high jack post.....but you're not alone.....
I think you just described me in a nutshell. I worry about a lot of things that other people don't think twice about. I don't have an anxiety issue... these things are just always in the back of my mind. I love statistics so I'm the "oh, 1 in a thousand, you say? Well it happens to SOMEONE then, doesn't it? Who is to say that someone isn't me?!" person.

Update on the original post- we are now just over 3 months out. Still feeling quite certain about not having another one myself, but would still possibly consider adoption if hubby refuses to be content with just one in the future (though I still hope he is content with just one and it seems more and more like he will be). I do still really feel complete with just my little guy, but I am trying not to focus so much on that since most of you said you didn't get the "itch" again for 1-2 years. So I'll revisit my feelings then. Instead of getting rid of his baby clothes as he outgrows them, we did decide to pack them in a box so they could be taken out in a few years if we do adopt. It would definitely be another boy, so hopefully we could reuse at least some stuff. But that is neither here nor there. Lol.

I am still SO SO enjoying being a mommy. I love watching my sweet boy grow every day. I am cherishing each moment since this is potentially the only time we will have these experiences!

Thanks again for all the responses and dialogue. I love getting all these opinions, so keep em coming! I'm always open to hearing thoughts. I know a couple people mentioned feeling like they were saying something condescending, but don't worry! I'm not taking it that way at all! I asked for opinions and I genuinely want to hear them! Nothing offends me!

Cheers!



 
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Old Apr 1st, 2016, 19:24 PM   27
MelliPaige
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I wanted another boy too! I didn't want to have another baby without being absolutely sure I was ok with a girl but I'm so excited we got another boy. We can reuse all my babies cute things and he'll have more in common with his brother and can share their room. I know they might not get along as well as I'm hoping, I only have 1 sister and were total opposites and didn't get along at all, but I still wanted my son to have a brother.



 
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Old Apr 1st, 2016, 19:29 PM   28
MelliPaige
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I also like that your being realistic about it, realizing the itch make cone zone day and not getting rid of the baby stuff until you're absolutely sure. Too many people I know think they're done and get rid of it all only to have to buy it back in a year or so wishing they'd kept it (sometimes planned sometimes surprises)
My husband says he's absolutely done this time so we may start thinnging out the baby stuff, but I don't want to give/sell all my baby stuff until this baby is at least three to be good and sure we're really done



 
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Old Apr 4th, 2016, 10:15 AM   29
Nolagyrl1913
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I was feeling the same way as the op but I have to say, now that my daughter is 2 I find myself with baby fever. I would love for her to have a playmate but my worries are different than most so please don't think I am strange for saying what I am about to say....
I love my daughter so much, she is my everything. I am afraid if I have another baby I couldn't love it as much as I love her, that she would be my 'favorite'. Again, i know it sounds silly but that is my biggest fear. I want to make sure I love them the same.



 
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Old Apr 4th, 2016, 13:55 PM   30
JessyG
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I dont think that's daft at all. In fact I think most mums will have had that thought at some point. As far as I understand it its not the case and in a sense your heart grows to love them both/all equally. That being said we had a fiend and her 6 month old other today and for the first while my DD loved it was all cuddly and lovely, then she started huffing and getting quite upset that 'her mummy' was holding another baby. My OH told her to stop being silly but it broke my heart a little. I, for some reason cant imagine having to ask her to share me.

It doesn't help that we simply cant afford another.

Sorry I rambled, my poin, I dont think you reasoning is silly at all BUT from what o hear that feeling will go as soon as your second baby arrives!



 
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