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Old May 28th, 2016, 07:44 AM   1
Jessica60
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Having one child but not by choice


Hi,

I have a daughter, nearly aged four. For the past few years I have been attempting to have a baby, a sibling for her. I have done ivf and got a bfp last cycle but am currently miscarriaging. I'm 40.

I think it looks like that she will be my only child and I should move on from costly stressful fertility treatment.

Anyone else got an only child not by choice?

Did you eventually come to terms with it?

What are the pros and cons?



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Old Jun 3rd, 2016, 14:25 PM   2
missk1989
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We can only have one biological child and to be honest I couldn't come to terms with not being a parent again. I cried for 2 days until DH suggested adopting. WE are almost at the end of that journey now and preparing to have another child with us by autum. Is this an option for you?



 
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Old Jun 6th, 2016, 05:40 AM   3
veronikabrie
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My mum had me when she was in her twenties. After a divorce she tried to have a child with hubby N.2 but they had fertility issues. She was 30-something then. Fifteen years later, she's now happy and says she feels our family is complete. Her second husband is on the same page.

Guess there's always a good closure in the end.

But definitely think of adoption if you really wish to care for another child. You'll be helping a little one in need and it's a wonderful initiative.



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Old Jun 24th, 2016, 14:44 PM   4
MamaBerry
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Hi Jessica,

I'm sorry for your loss. I think I may be in the same boat as you. I have one son, who will turn 4 in November, I'm 39 and have fertility issues. I had a miscarriage about a month ago, which was a horrible process, and I don't know if I can go through it all again. I've been TTC for 9 years and only pregnant twice...

Everyday I try to convince myself that I'm one and done, but its so hard. I think of pros like having more money to go on vacations, not having to split my time between two kids and different activities etc, but when I see all my friends with their children it just brings home how much I want my son to have a sibling too.

Sorry I don't have any advice but I just wanted to send you a and let you know you're not alone in this.



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Old Jun 27th, 2016, 15:05 PM   5
Jessica60
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Mama berry, it has got a little easier now that i have come to the decision/reality of only having one child. Although, I have just taken her away for a long break to a holiday camp, she loved it initially then in the playgrounds started following other children around trying to play with them. She got fed up of adult company. Problem was most of the children had siblings therefore already had someone to play with. I sooo wanted a sibling for her.

I also have to tell myself that if I was to have another then the age gap of 4 1/2 years is just too much for her to have someone to play with. I just wish I had friends with children the same age that I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with.



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