I got my dh to finally get his semen analyzed after having a 43 day cycle and having another long one that went to 49. Well, I can't hope for a miracle any more. He had zero sperm. I am very sad. I hoped that it would happen. Especially with me having longer cycles, but now I can just chalk them up to me most likely being perimenopausal. I go see my OB the 8th to find out.
I had always saw myself having a daughter of my own, but the only way I get a daughter now is through marriage. So there goes the dreams of me doing her hair, having her in ballet, seeing her grow into a woman. That is really the hardest part. Having to let go of my dreams that I had since I was a little girl.
I just hope I can move passed this. It is also hard knowing that after having 3 consecutive losses since my last son that I will not have one more final rainbow.
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