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Old Jan 14th, 2017, 09:26 AM   1
mouse_chicky
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My Last Two Week Wait Ever


We've been ttc#3 on and off (more on than off) for over 2 years. Dd was conceived easily after only 3 months, while ds took a year and a half with a miscarriage in between.
I've had 5 cycles of clomid, and this is my third and final cycle on Femara. (My second pregnancy was the result of cycle 2 of femara.)
At one point, I had dh convinced to at least go to an appointment with me to my gyno to talk about how much IUI would cost. He would hedge and go back and forth, never really saying yes, which I took as a maybe. But it turns out, he was only being accomodating because I was so insistent.
He really doesn't want a third child.

I get it. I really do. We have a lot on our plate right now. Our jobs are really stressful. He's getting his master's degree. I'm studying to be nationally board certified as a teacher. Both of these things take time and money. We have a good sized house, but only 2 kid rooms, one for my almost 6 year old daughter and one for my 3 year old son. Whether a new baby would be a boy or a girl, it'd be more of an age gap than we wanted for them to being sharing a room. (Dh said he would want to divide our master bedroom in two to create an a extra room--not something he really wants to do.)
Dh is a recovering alcoholic, and he has generalized anxiety disorder that he controls with meds. (I'm on meds for anxiety and depression too, but I guess they're working more for me.)

We've been over all of this for hours. Months ago we entertained the idea of adopting but decided it wasn't for us.

But there is no half a baby. Somebody has to give.

And I love him too much to let this hurt our relationship. Honestly, I have been working on my relationship with God really hard the last few months, and dh is still struggling hard on that front. I can get through this through my faith, but it will still be a trial.

I think we'll wait a while before we decide on permanent sterilization. I told him that if he changes is mind about a third years down the road, it's on him. In the meantime, I'll go back on the 3 month birth control pill.

That is after this cycle is over. Today is 6dpo.

Thanks for listening.



 
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Old Feb 13th, 2017, 11:38 AM   2
Wobbles
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