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Old Jul 5th, 2017, 07:59 AM   11
WackyMumof2
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jessicasmum, every single diagnosis is different. Different circumstances will do that. Mind you, we were under so many people that didn't want to listen I just really started doubting something was going on and as a parent, that's not fair. It plays with your sanity and emotions. Glad hubby is supportive. And it takes a STRONG couple to get through everything life throws at them when there is a child with noticeable differences involved. You've made it this far so if you ever feel down, just focus on that and then think about carrying that though to the future.

You did read right. Forth and last baby on the way. I can't do a fifth round. Lol.

The problems with Autism, ADHD, Down's Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy etc is that people are afraid to interact. I don't think it's the child but the condition the child may have. I think they are scared of what is different if that makes any sense. I was VERY fortunate that I went to school with 2 little boys with Down's Syndrome and my mother and her sister were their aides. One was able to communicate and speak with us and would have us in fits on laughter because he just liked to clown around and make others laugh where as the other child was severely disabled in regards to his walking and could really only communicate in grunts and squeals - mainly due to a very premature birth that he wasn't expected to survive. But he did and he, along with the other boy are amazing people and that is down to the people who played important rolls in their lives. I remember my mother saying that she used to sit Jarred (the boy who was more severely disabled than the other) down at the computer because he loved it and whenever she would go to help him he would smack her hand and tell her off. Lol. They are such bright kids!! People forget that a disability doesn't make them 'broken' and with time, patience and understanding, people learn this and interact with them very, very easily. I have a friend who's twins were very prem too. Unfortunately, one of her babies didn't make it and the one who did has a lot of delay issues and has Asperger's. For years I couldn't understand her but in the last couple of years her speech has just really taken off and she just won't keep quiet. Given, I have to listen carefully to what she's saying but I understand her now. Your little one, no matter that she may only say a word here and there at a time, has shown she's able to communicate, interact and speak in some degrees. Encourage her, nurture her and you will one day be looking at how far she has come. Every little thing is progress and that is something you and your partner can be proud of because that is the hard work and dedication of you both. She sounds very special.



 
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Old Jul 5th, 2017, 16:29 PM   12
Cloudy7
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My friend knew with her son from very early on that something wasn't quite the same as her first, luckily at the beginning she had a lot of support from her health visitor who managed to find a free nursery place for him from 1yr old (she was a single parent and struggling with his behaviour massively) but similar to your experience doctors just wouldn't listen. She finally got a diagnosis for him but not until he was around 4-5 that he had autism. I'm not sure if he's been diagnosed with ADHD but that is what she initially thought he had. He recently got expelled from his mainstream school (the school were really quite poor at actually helping/understanding his needs) and he's now temporarily in a specialist school and is coming on leaps and bounds so hopefully she can find a similar school permanently. Is ADHD/autism something that is higher risks with later children just with you both mentioning your concerns with further children?

slightly off topic but my son was friends with a little girl who had developmental delays, her speech was so bad she had to learn sign language and honestly the moment he would be with her he was like a different child he was so caring, if she was struggling to feed herself he would feed her without even being asked to. He would just light up as soon as he seen her. I think that is and always will be one of my proudest moments. To know that I'm raising a young man that at 3yr old could understand that someone needed support and offered it time and time again.



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Old Jul 6th, 2017, 01:04 AM   13
WackyMumof2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloudy7 View Post
Is ADHD/autism something that is higher risks with later children just with you both mentioning your concerns with further children?
Autism I believe is a gene mutation (don't quote me though) and it's been proven that there is a genetic link with ADHD (asthma is the same). Because hubby has ADHD, then we knew there was a risk that our children could also be. But I think the gene is passed down from the mother (hubby found that info somewhere) which is strange because I don't think there is any confirmed ADHD on my side. I think my brother does and they think I do but I refuse to be tested because I refuse to know at 32 when I have never had to worry before. And it won't help me understand my son anyhow. I have to understand me before I can understand him so I choose to not know and to help him where ever I can.

Either way, regardless of what ever difficulties children face, it upsets me when they are excluded. It's never the child people are scared of but the underlying condition and that is generally due to lack of understanding.



 
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Old Jul 6th, 2017, 06:57 AM   14
jessicasmum
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Wackymumof2: Thank you my daughter is a very special girl, even though through the hard times it is hard to to keep positive but then there are little moments where it makes you proud and have hope like last week playgroup teacher said she said "no" to her and the week before that she got star of the week.

Congratulations on your pregnancy how far along are you?

Do you mind me asking is your son in a special needs school? This is something we have got to think about because in January we will have to apply for a nursery place within a school for her start September 2018, I think the option of her going a mainstream school is probably going to be taken out of our hands any way with her not talking and she's isn't toilet trained due to her none verbal, I'm not sure as the more and more i think about it I don't think i would want her to go to mainstream as you hear a lot that special needs children getting bullied at mainstream schools. Going to be hard to pick a special needs school for us though because the one in our area we would definitely not send her due to it was in the papers back in 2014 that 3 children had been mistreated there, there is a autism unit right near our house that's connected to a school that would be good for her to attend but i think it is for mild autism and i dont know if she would be classed as this because she cant talk yet, i dont think she'll be classed as severe though at all.

I know what you mean about people not wanting to interact with autistic, ADHD etc people because it's like they don't understand them so it's like they are scared of the unknown really and like you said they are all amazing and unquie in their own ways and can be so bright also. With that in mind this is why for many years now I've wanted to take the plundge and hopefully become a special needs teaching assistant, i think once I've had #4 and Jasmine (DD2) is in school that this would be my oppertutity to hopefully get a voluntary placement and then do a course, just don't know if I'm good enough for the role though, just something I've felt passionate about for sometime.


Cloudy7: autism can be genetic which I'm not sure is the case in our family yet as there has not been any others with diagnosed autism as of yet, it can be just one of them things.

Awww that is so sweet about your son being so caring towards the little girl with development delays



 
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