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Old Apr 10th, 2017, 16:42 PM   1
Cloudy7
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Think im done but not sure


So the other day oh agreed that in a couple of years we'd start trying again after a few months of me saying id like another. Well the day he agreed i was overjoyed but now ive kind of got cold feet about it all, we have a 6yr old and a 3yr old. We're no where near financially ready for one anytime soon so the 2yr wait is a must but i worry that by then our 2 will be at an age where life will finally be a breeze.

I think most of my longing for another comes from the fact that im only 25 i cant imagine never doing it all again i feel like im still far too young to stop but i know its logical to stop at 2. Im kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place, i know if we went on to have another id have to battle with my guilt on the other 2 for the first couple of years, spend say the first year struggling to have the energy for all 3 what with the early morning school runs, sleepless nights etc. But then i also worry that if i never have another I might be living the rest of my life feeling somewhat incomplete.

We've agreed that we will come back to it at the beginning of next year so i guess i have plenty of time to think about it. Sorry ive rambled on a bit! Anyone else in similar situation? Or been in a similar situation and can share their story?



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Old Apr 18th, 2017, 06:07 AM   2
jessicasmum
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Following this post because I too feel unsure if I'm done or not. The goal posts have kept moving for us as we had our 1st in 2005 and I had experienced traumatic birth and then it played a massive part on my mental health so for years we were back and forth over if we would have a 2nd. Eventually in 2014 we had our 2nd which was a massive 9 year gap. So we wanted to have a 3rd closer in age and we did 4 months ago with an exact 27 month gap between them. I originally before having my 1st only wanted 2 kids but that changed to 3 and now out of the blue when I thought we were totally done I'm crazily back and forth over having a 4th! I'm really not sure if having another is right for us but it's not something we need to decide straight away.



 
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Old May 2nd, 2017, 16:40 PM   3
LoveCakes
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I'm unsure either. It took us a few years to have my LG so we started sooner than we probably would have otherwise and ended up with a 23 month age gap. It's been a great gap but if we had another I'd want longer, ideally three years.

My main reason as wanting to get my career going again (I took a year off with dd then was pregnant 3 months after I went back) and being scared how I'd cope with 3. My hubby works away at least one week a month and though I have good family support it can be hard enough with 2. Also same as you if we waited till my two are 5 and 3 we'd be past the nappies, sleepless nights stage only to start all over again.

I guess how I feel is that I'm pretty sure I'm fine but if someone said no you can't I'd be devastated.



 
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Old May 6th, 2017, 21:32 PM   4
Smille24
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I'm unsure as well.

It took us 2.5 yrs to get pregnant with my 2nd and ended up needing assistance. After she was born we decided to ntnp in hopes to get pregnant unexpectedly. I wanted a 18-24 month age gap if possible. I've recently had a change of heart. I love my girls. However, my dh works A LOT sometimes it's like he doesn't exist. I feel overwhelmed with raising 2 kids and trying to juggle school events and sports alone. We've had a discussion recently and I told him how I feel and that I'm probably done having kids. He thinks it's a phase and says he wants another. Maybe it's the exhaustion talking, but I'm sort of content with not adding to our family.



 
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Old Jun 11th, 2017, 13:58 PM   5
Cloudy7
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Sorry for the late reply ladies i havent been online in almost 2 months.

Im constantly back and forward on what i want. But atm im all for another one. I need to get back to work first though, i lost my job a few hours before i found out i was pregnant with our first 6 years ago and never worked since. Life was comfortable with just oh wage and i got to raise the children so it was a no brainer really but if we want #3 i really need to be working we couldnt possibly stretch without really struggling. But then 3 children and a full time job (plus oh working permanent nights) sounds awful haha. I absolutely know logically stopping at 2 is a good idea but whats the fun in that



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