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Old Aug 30th, 2017, 13:17 PM   1
luz
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No more babies 😶


I don't know how I feel about not having any more kids. Growing up I always wanted 3, but as soon as I had my 3rd baby I felt like there was one more waiting to join our family. My husband agreed to have just one more, and the day she was born he called and scheduled his vasectomy.

I'm ok not having more kids and being done with 4 (that's a lot of kids!!) but I really feel like I'm going to miss the newborn baby stage. My kids are 5,3,2 and newborn so I've been pregnant/nursing/newborn phase for the last 6 years of my life. It's so strange to feel like I'm coming to the end of this part of my life and moving on to a new phase.

I really don't want any more kids but I still feel sad knowing that this is the end and the vasectomy really makes it final. I'd imagine it's normal to feel kind of sad ... how do you cope? How do you come to terms with it? I feel like I have to savor every second with my new baby because I'll never get this again



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Old Aug 30th, 2017, 15:55 PM   2
apple_20
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I totally know the feeling (though I stopped at 2) it does get easier as they grow and looking at the positives helped me. No more babies means finally throwing out the baby stuff, no more nappies, being able to afford holidays/nights out whatever it is!

The thing is it's unlikely to go away properly but it does fade. Especially if you can logically say it's a good thing to be a complete family.

Look forward to the future ab next stage for your family.



 
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Old Aug 30th, 2017, 19:38 PM   3
luz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apple_20 View Post
I totally know the feeling (though I stopped at 2) it does get easier as they grow and looking at the positives helped me. No more babies means finally throwing out the baby stuff, no more nappies, being able to afford holidays/nights out whatever it is!

The thing is it's unlikely to go away properly but it does fade. Especially if you can logically say it's a good thing to be a complete family.

Look forward to the future ab next stage for your family.
I'm definitely excited to get out of the constant night waking and diaper changing, but all I know is babies and toddlers. They're so much fun! I worry about what happens when they grow up into kids that I can no longer control and who don't need me. I think I'm worried I won't feel important and needed once they all get into school.

I guess it will be nice to not have to worry about always nursing a baby and maybe my husband and I will get to go on a date without kids! We have a trip planned for our 10 year anniversary this march, but because I'll still be nursing the baby, she gets to come along.

Sounds like the best thing will just be time, and trying not to think too much about it.



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Old Aug 31st, 2017, 06:45 AM   4
Wobbles
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Sounds like perfect complete family. I don't want any more for lot's of reasons but there's a deep feeling of incomplete and missing the teeny days... I soon shake myself



 
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Old Sep 1st, 2017, 13:24 PM   5
apple_20
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They will ALWAYS need you. It's hard to see them become more independent but also amazing as it shows you did a good job.



 
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Old Sep 5th, 2017, 05:15 AM   6
WackyMumof2
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I've got my 4th and last due end of Jan. I always said 4 is my limit (for me and hubby) but I got a phone call from my midwife saying my Glucose results where in and it was positive for GD this pregnancy as well. So for me and hubby, no more children. I have offered to do a pregnancy or 2 for a cousin who is unable to have children and because of my GD history, that will be the deciding factor for her as to if I do a couple of surrogate pregnancies for her and her partner. I will agree to an induction but not for a section just because I will have 4 children of my own and can't afford 6 weeks on bed rest and out of work. I'd be pushing for an induction around 38+3 if I haven't gone into labour by 38+1 as I seem to have done these last 2 pregnancies. But more children for myself, I have zero desire as I want a career.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2017, 16:19 PM   7
Aboundingjoy
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As you stated, I think you have come to an end of this chapter and turning the page to a new chapter in your life. A very wise man once said, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." I think it's normal to have that sadness since we are emotional beings. You have so enjoyed that part of your life and you are grieving the passing of a very wonderful season of your life. But I want to encourage you to look ahead to the next season of your life. Each season has its own beauty and character. I love the summer and am sad to see it pass but I look forward to autumn with the lovely foliages, apple and pumpkin picking, pumpkin-spice latte... and the list goes on.

I can't say I have loved my children's infant stages, but I have thoroughly loved and enjoyed my children's toddler stages. As they entered their preteens, I was saddened to accept the fact that my kids were growing up. There was sadness in letting go of the old and familiar season, but I have learned and am still learning that there's a lot of beauty and excitement in the new season I am in. There's much joy and surprises in the new season of life. Let's not get caught up looking back and longing for the lost days when we can claim the joys that are ours today!



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Old Sep 13th, 2017, 14:19 PM   8
luz
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I like that perspective! I always try to find joy in the journey of life and not say "I'll be happy when....." it's just going to be a new type of life without little babies everywhere , but I'm starting to accept it a little more and know everything will be ok



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