Hi,

My DD is 6 days old. On day 1 while still in hospital I tried breast feeding as this is what I had always wanted to do. I was amazed at how powerful her suck is, and my sensitive nipples soon became cracked and sore (with a little blood). I was unable to feed her as it was too painful so reluctantly agreed to bottles with a view that it would be temporary while my nipples healed.

She has been on formula since and is sleeping well (roughly 2/3 hours after each feed of around 60ml) but part of me still wanted to breastfeed. I loved the feeling of closeness etc. However, tried again today with the help of the MW and once again, after an hour my nipples are now sore and I cant face putting her back on the breast. It makes me miserable to think i cant feed her.

I think that maybe as she is now used to getting large amounts through the bottle (and my breasts dont have as a large a supply yet) that she feels hungry after being on the breast?
Anyway, I have came to the decision that breast feeding will not be for me, and that she will remain a formula fed baby. Im really torn about it, and cant help feeling a bit of a failure.......anyone else felt like that?

I worry that she wont get all the nutrition she needs (even though everyone in my family and my DH's family were all bottle fed and are fine!)

I feel a bit of pressure from the community midwife team, and the breast feeding support worker who visited today too. Do they look down on moms who bottle feed?

Sorry if i've rambled, am feeling very emotional about it all at the mo

(My Husband is wonderful, but I think I just need other moms to tell me its ok not to breast feed and that my baby will just be happy to have a full belly!)

You should consider exclusively pumping! I had the same problem with DD and got a Medela Pump in style from the hospital and its working out great! I pump every 4 hours (12, 4, 8, noon, 4, 8) and get 7oz each time (which is a lot more than she is eating right now.. she only takes 2oz a bottle) so i'm getting lots of milk to freeze and save. She just had her 2 week check up today and she has already gained 1lb 1oz from her discharge weight! The doctor said that was huge! Makes me so happy to know she is doing so well on my milk.

Pumping hurt my nipples the first couple of days (because of the damage LO caused at the hospital, and because I had the wrong sized breast flanges) but it doesn't hurt to pump anymore! In fact I really look forward to it because it feels so nice having all that milk drained out. If you want more resources on Exclusivity pumping, there is a sticky at the top of the breast feeding forum, and a really good beginners guide here.

I agree with the above poster; though if you don't feel comfortable with exclusive pumping (and it is a lot of work) then formula is fine too-your baby will get enough nutrition from formula-all formulas in the UK have to be nutritionally complete by law, the one thing formula doesn't have is immune factors/antibodies and some of the amino acids but it is a perfectly adequate breastmilk substitute! My sister who was BF for the least time is rarely ill and is the only one of us to have a 'first' honours degree so while its true statistically 'breast is best' there are many many exceptions to these statistics. xx

You made my day

@ jayneypops: no advice to give but i hope everything works out for you

Hi,

Thanks ladies, Alette- I do have a Medela mini electric pump and have used it a couple of times to ease swelling, but only managed about 20ml in 1 hour. I've heard that it might increase the more I pump? As it would take time to build up I would need to gradually introduce the breastmilk while still gving her formula- is it ok to give both?

Perfectly fine to give both! My LO got a few bottles of formula her first few days because my milk didn't come in till day 5 and she was HUNGRY!

Yes, the more milk you remove (pump) the more milk you will produce.

Its really reassuring to know I can do both - takes the pressure off! She is happy with formula, and my Husband loves to feed her too so it means he can get that time with her that he wouldnt get if I was exclusively breastfeeding.

The ideal situation for us would be 'top-ups' with expressed breastmilk until I get more milk coming through then maybe bottles of breastmilk every other feed?

I think Midwives/Health visitors etc tend to make you feel that you should be just breast feeding and that you should put up with the pain and discomfort if you love your baby. Its wrong. My friend is a Health Visitor so luckily she will tell me as it is, rather than what she is trained to say and she has confirmed today that you can do both (formula and breast milk). She did with her 2.

I will start expressing a few times a day and see how much I manage to get!

Thanks for your replies so far - big help :-)

Yes, you can give breastmilk and formula, you can also even give breastmilk and formula in the same bottle if you want to, at the same feed. However, you shouldn't feel a failure if you just want to FF, or looked down on and if midwives or health professionals are making you feel like that then tell them.

If you don't feel that you can directly breastfeed again, then that is absolutely fine. However, if you do want to (and this can be in combination with formula) then you may find with proper help you can do it in absolutely pain free. Unless your baby is tongue tied, then if you are getting nipple damage to the point of bleeding, something is not right with your latch, even if you have been told it is. Most midwives and HV's (suprisingly!) haven't even got the most very basic of BF knowledge. Even the specialist BF HV who runs the BF support group I attend comes out with some right old rubbish tbh. Things such as biological nurturing can help get a good latch (google, it's baby led latching) and you can also ring the NCT, LLL etc and go to support groups they run and see a good breastfeeding counsellor there who may be able to check your latch. Also, the NHS runa 'best buddies' scheme in some areas where you can be in touch with another BF Mum (even if you want to give some formula too and even if you are exclusively expressing) who will support you and visit you at home if that is what you want. You will heal while still feeding and you might find that BF at night is easier than having to make bottles, but then prefer to FF or bottle feed during the day.

If you feel expressing is an option for you and want to do that, then that is fine too, of course it is, but most likely to be successful with a hospital grade double pump, especially initially. You can hire these, but once your supply is established you probably won't need it and a normal pump will do. You may find a 'normal' pump is enough anyway. You will need to pump regularly at first to get any sort of supply and one that will last and some women find this too demanding. It may help a tiny bit to know that if you sterilise the pump parts in the morning, you can then keep them in a clean tupperware in the fridge all day and do not need to sterilise them again. Some women find hand expressing very successful too and it saves the need for most of the cleaning/sterilising, so ask about that if you think it might be for you.

Good luck whatever you decide to do, I hope whatever it is it makes you happy and you need not feel any sort of failure, whatever you do.

thank you for such a kind and helpful post. Im so glad I posted this one here as everyone has been so helpful!

I think I will see how much I can get from expressing (at the moment I notice 1 or 2 drops coming with every 8 or 10 'sucks' through an electric pump - not much at all! hopefully that will improve.

I am in a similar boat and trying so hard to not feel bad. My little boy (going on 4 weeks now) was getting my breast milk mostly through pumping and bottles. The same thing happened to my nipples in the hospital.

Everything went fine up to week 2 and then my LO started to get really hungry. 3-4 ounces wasn't satisfying him. He takes after his daddy with his appetite. If I fed him more, it would be too much for his belly and that would make him very uncomfortable. Then I was noticing that he would get really fussy from my breastmilk. I will admit that I was giving him one bottle of formula at night. I know it could have been something in my diet but I just don't have the time to micro-manage my diet, pump and manage breast milk and handle a newborn by myself. LO is satisfied on 3 oz of formula

I am testing him on formula for a week and still pumping to keep up supply. It breaks my heart because I was really proud to be BFing my baby but I believe that mom and baby need to be in harmony. Baby wasn't happy and mommy wasn't happy. Now baby and mommy are happy....for now!