Before my child was born I scoffed at formula and scoffed at those who fed it. Thinking that breast is best and that others didn't try hard enough.
My child was born and I started breastfeeding. Start all my troubles. She had no issue latching and was latching HARD. Then she went to NICU because she developed a fever. I diligently fed her every 2-3 hours or whenever the unit would call me to come feed her during her first 3 days of life.
Then I was told she had jaundice. Which she did, she was really really yellow. I was given the option to formula feed and turned it down. I could breastfeed. THis was on day 3 of her life. The doctor told me on day 4 that he would not discharge her unless I agreed to formula feed as she was not getting enough from me and her jaundice was not clearing up.
Turns out my milk did not come in till the end of day SIX. By then I was having to supplement or she was a wreck. Screaming uncontrollably and she had scabbed my AREOLAs from her needful sucking!!! By then I was trying to pump, feed, and had gotten nipple shields to try to save it.
I was still having to formula feed. By day 14 I realized that I hated what I was doing. I was spending so much time pumping, trying to get her to latch, fiddling with the shields, and then having to top off with a bottle that I hated feeding all together. Despised it.
It's now going on week 5 and I have completely stopped breastfeeding three days ago. I have to say, I AM HAPPY. Really happy. I only prepare her a bottle and then feed. I can move on with my life without worrying about if she got enough or if my breasts will ever keep up.
Formula is not the evil I made it out to be and I am very sorry I judged anyone. I love my little girl and today we danced for a bit while listening to music and singing in my living room with complete joy.
I hope others will also not beat themselves up over the fact that they have to feed forumla. Seriously, its not evil or bad.
Thank you for posting. I wasn't anti-formula but I will admit that I was really proud to have a baby that latched well from day one and had a lot of milk supply. I too was pumping and bottle feeding. Then suddenly my milk was not enough for my son. He would have 4 oz (at 3 weeks old) and still be hungry. I tried giving him more and that just over-filled his belly and he was so unhappy. Then I couldn't pump as much or as well because he was fussing and crying CONSTANTLY.
I guess I am mostly bummed because my fiance seems to judge me the most about this. He is very frugal and thinks that breast feeding is going to save the family budget but he is not the one at home with the baby all day trying to do everything!!
Now my LO eats 3 oz every 2 hours and lets me have a 4 hour sleep shift at night. He is 3-1/2 weeks. He is gaining weight and growing and seems so content. Mom is happier too. Yeah, it might cost a little more but it's worth not hearing my son wail out in hunger after eating 4 oz of breast milk and getting sick off more.
I am glad that you and your LO found your "happy place." That is most important. Happy & healthy parents and baby.
(and yes, I did try adding a little rice cereal to breastmilk to thicken it up and he spit it right up.)
There are a lot of people running around here and there that haven't been humbled yet in their parenting. It will happen to them and us many times over in the next 30 or 40 years! The best laid plans and intentions just do not always work out but pleasant results can be found down many different paths.
glad im not alone,my story was similar except dom was born on his due date,i wasn't bringing in enough milk till he was a week old and by day 2 in hospital he was jaundiced and supplemented with aptamil by the midwives,dom blistered and cracked my nipples and even now if i attempt a breast feed he will get a small amount and then just suckle and make me raw. I too did not like the idea of formula and indeed felt a failure when my breasts couldn't give my son enough,it upsets me that im not EBFing its not that i choose not to...it just seems that i cant but formula is not evil and we shouldn't be judged for using it, in some cases its just not to be, and if it was that bad to gie your child formula then surely it wouldn't be sold!!! thank you for posting this, and thank you ladies who understand this website has been nothing but helpful and a relief to me and i shall continue to use it throughout dom's growing up,and hopefully my babba number two to all xx
its funny how you can have the best intentions and end up taking a 180 degree turn and end up doing what you swore you wouldn't. I was like you- but due to a whole heap of curcumstances also ended up formula feeding- and you know what- the sky didn't fall, my baby didn't die but what did happen is that i began to cope and bond better with my girl. Breast is best yes- but formula is fine.
Don't worry, I think most of us thought the same!!! I still think BF is the best choice, that doesn't change, but those of us who greatly struggled particularly with ill children/medical needs realized that we should eat our words!
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