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Old Jan 21st, 2017, 17:28 PM   1
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If you could do something totally selfish.....

What would it be?

A bit of context. Some people on this forum might know a bit of this story as I've written about it before. After having my daughter is decided it was time to really think about what I wanted out of life career wise. I set my heart on my future and decided to get my degree in order to enter a career in publishing. It's not a career that's possible near to where I live so it would have meant moving quite far away. My husband told me he supported me completely but as I got to the end of my degree he'd changed his mind and didn't want to move. A commute to anywhere that job is possible is impossible without sacrificingetting a lot of time with my children which I am not willing to do. So I got a full time job in a different career path. Whilst I hope to move up eventually I am at the bottom, a place most people would start upon leaving school or college, not with a degree under their belt, and sometimes it bothers me that I had to give me up my dream for a job that is often at times a bit degrading.

My real passion however is writing but I've never had the opportunity to have enough time to really focus on it. I feel, as I believe most writers probably do, that my writing needs to say something important. I also feel I haven't seen enough of the world or of people to say anything that profound. I haven't found my voice yet.

I often cry at happy and beautiful stories, and it recently struck me that the reason I cry is because I don't know if I could ever write something that powerful.

My selfish thing would either to be to give up my job and try to focus on writing or to spend some time away from all of my family and friends (i'm not talking ages, like a week or so) competelyrics on my own, somewhere beautiful and inspiring, and just write.

I just wondered if anybody else had some desire they felt would be completely selfish to act upon.

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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 03:02 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
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I wouldn't say what you want to do is selfish at all, I don't think we should have to give up our dreams when we have kids I think we can try to strike a balance, wanting a week away to write isn't a big ask! I've had to go away away for work, my husband goes away for months! Ultimately our own happiness is good for the family, especially when it can bring income in too ha!

What would I do that was selfish? Honestly I don't know because I do just chase after what I want whether it's a day to myself or a break away with my husband, but I suppose if such a thing existed for my job I'd love to work abroad for a few months, but as I say my husband does this so if the opportunity arose I would probably do it and wouldn't really see it as selfish, I certainly don't see my husband as selfish.

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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 05:06 AM   3
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Ive donea week away a few times. Works wonders.

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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 05:29 AM   4
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A week in the grand scheme of things is nothing and you're children are older to be ok if you did go away for a week. If a week is all you need to take a big step to your dream then I would.
My selfish thing would be to go on holiday with a friend or just my partner as we've never been on holiday the two of us(but we have no childcare). I'm still very young and with 3 children I've not done much for myself. I don't feel like I have missed out but it would be nice to do!

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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 06:38 AM   5
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A week away sounds wonderful

There's nothing wrong with thinking of yourself occasionally rather than everyone else!

Right now. I'd selfishly like to have a decent sleep every night.

I'd also like a few days away. Nearly ten months breastfeeding a baby who won't take a bottle - once we are done im going to look into booking a break!

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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 10:38 AM   6
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A sun holiday with no children! And i am iv booked 3 nights away with my 2 best friends. It likely will never happen again but iv been pregnant or breastfeeding or looking after babies for 4 years by then and im soooo looking forward too it!!

Dont worry about being selfish sometimes, i honestly think its good for children to see that there mums can do things too and there not just there at there beck and call 24/7 (ok mean that with older children but you know what i mean)

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Old Jan 22nd, 2017, 16:12 PM   7
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I'd love to go travelling - see the world and visit as many 'wonders of the world' as possible. The freedom that would come with packing my rucksack and just going.

Not an entirely unreachable dream though, as both my kids will be adults (18+) by the time I'm in my early 40s.

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