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Old Jan 29th, 2017, 15:49 PM   1
Emma&Freya
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Advice about house, marriage and kids!


Not been on here for a while!

Me and my husband are having a few issues as of late. We have 2 beautiful daughters together. We got married a couple of years ago.

Before we got married we bought a house together. The house is in his name as I had bad credit (by bloody £20!) my family helped us with the deposit.

So after our wedding he got a new business and everything went downhill. His business partner despises me. Me and the girls are always put last. My youngest daughter is under a behaviour doctor as she is delayed in her development and is so much hard work, but I wouldn't change it! She had her first appointment last year and he walked out of the appointment Cos his business partner couldn't cope in work that particular day so my husband had to drop everything to go.

Everything I do is for my girls, I live and breathe for them. When we argue he threatens that he will fight for full custody for them 😢.

My daughters had to have surgery, Youngest had grommets put in and eldest had her toe straightened. When youngest went down to theatre I asked him if he could call my mum to let her no as the next call she gets is to calm me down (mums my calmer. Always has been) I came out of seeing my baby go to sleep to find put he's on phone to his business partner 🙄🙄 so when my eldest went into have her surgery I told not to bother coming. He never even asked me why or if he could come. Obviously if he asked o would have said yes cos he's there dad. Anywhoo.

He's so unreliable and my eldest (who is nearly 5) has now accepted. She misses her dad Cos she doesn't see him. When he's home he shouts at the kids cos there too noisy or there not asleep.

He's quite happy to miss the girls birthdays because 'he's a businessman' he went out leafleting for youngest birthday and can't even say he's going to be off for eldest birthday next week. It completely breaks my heart.

Before Christmas he was arguing with me to get a job. I was a stay at home mum. I enjoyed being at home with my girls but always said when youngest goes to Nursey I'm more than happy too as we couldn't afford the childcare. He told me that if I had set shifts he would have to take the time off. So I have a new job now which I do 11.30-2.30 every Monday-Friday. Youngest needs picking up from nursery at 12 on a Wednesday and insaid to him I'd need him to take that day off. His reply was 'I'm not committing myself to anything'.


I completely understand that he wants to make a success of his business but it's tearing our family apart.

He's got a major jealous cob on I've passed my driving test and got myself a car. He was so selfish he went to an auction and got a 7 seater that he expected me to drive. Anyway, loads of problems with it and he part exchanged it for a Ford Focus. He refused to get me insured on it hence why I got my own little run around for me and the kids.

Sorry for the long rant!

What I'd like to no is if we split up, what would happen about the house and what's the chance he could get custody?



 
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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 09:17 AM   2
babycrazy1706
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Sorry to hear youre going through this. He sounds terribly selfish, I don't have much advice but I do think if he can't pick your daughter up one day a week and wants them in bed not making noise would he really cope with custody? Probably just empty threats! Best wishes xx



 
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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 09:23 AM   3
jd83
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babycrazy1706 View Post
Sorry to hear youre going through this. He sounds terribly selfish, I don't have much advice but I do think if he can't pick your daughter up one day a week and wants them in bed not making noise would he really cope with custody? Probably just empty threats! Best wishes xx
I agree with this. For someone who spends very little time with his family, as his work seems to be more important to him, I wouldn't worry too much about him actually following through on threats like those. Likely him saying things like that is just to get you to drop whatever argument you are having, and to subdue you into staying with him in fear of him taking your girls.



 
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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 10:40 AM   4
Emma&Freya
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Thank you for the replies. I'm prepared to fight tooth and nail for my girls. I'm the main person in their lives, have to many character references if it ever came to that.

Do you no anything regarding situation on the house?

My eldest has a rainbows promise tonight and he's not bothered he's missing out on it 😢



 
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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 13:17 PM   5
CareBear
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You are married so the starting point is that everything should be split 50/50, however you will need be the one who needs to evidence the house is a family home and brought together as legally it is his. A lawyer will be able to help you with this as it can be a bit complicated. Try and get some legal advise as it could be a little tricky if your husbands name is the only one on the legal title, however the court will be ensuring that your children have a home.



 
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Old Jan 30th, 2017, 18:04 PM   6
Zephram
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I agree that your OH has no hope of getting full custody of the girls and that he is saying it to win the argument and make you feel threatened. Given the way he behaves towards them it's completely unlikely he'd even want full custody!

Regarding the house you'd want to get legal advice.



 
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Old Jan 31st, 2017, 02:08 AM   7
Springflower
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The courts now expect you to work out custody between yourselves. (If you can). I haven't even bothered getting anything official drawn up with regards to access. My solicitor said it would be a waste of money. Having said that my ex didn't seem bothered about seeing the girls more than once a week. Although to start with he wanted full custody.....

Re the house. It won't matter that it's in his name, you are married with two small children. Any assets either of you have a joint. So he won't just get the house.

Good luck. I can't believe he went leafleting on his daughter's birthday....



 
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Old Jan 31st, 2017, 02:45 AM   8
6lilpigs
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Are you UK?



 
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Old Jan 31st, 2017, 04:28 AM   9
xxmyheartxx
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My husbands sister has just gone through a divorce, she's never worked and only his name on the mortgage, she's got the house until the youngest is 18, with him paying for it until then as well, she has to pay the bills, when the youngest turns 18, she either has to buy him out (can't see that happening) or sell the house.
I hope your dd rainbows promise went well



 
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Old Jan 31st, 2017, 05:08 AM   10
vaniilla
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His custody comments are pointless, you are their main carer and no judge would ever give him that. It makes no difference who's name the property is in if you are married, all assets are divisible between the two of you and the law will always aim for 50/50 but they will take into account that it's currently the children's home and their interests.

Seek legal advice very quickly though if things become nasty and get a notice of home rights so that he can't sell the house under your feet.


I'm really sorry that you're going through this, but he sounds so unsupportive and living with him is so stressful that you'll probably feel calmer and happier once he's gone.



 
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