My In-Laws show no interest in their only grandchild.
They didin't buy him anything for christmas and haven't seen him in 5 months because they can't be bothered. They are both retired, both drive and live 250 miles away, yet expect us to continually pack everything up and travel with a small baby to spend a weekend with them.
If Hubby and I got divorced, there is no way I would want Daniel seeing them as they just don't care, yet, they are the kind of people that would push for grandparents rights because they can - but you can bet anything that it would have to be me that does all the running around!!
ETA - I also wouldn't want Daniel to have any time with them because my MIL is really quite nasty to and about me. I don't want him to be subjected to her bitchiness
Unfortunately there are some people in this world who use their kids as weapons, and out of spite would keep them away from the other halves family. EDIT: When the other family & OH havent done nothing wrong. If they were nasty people I could understand the reasons for this etc..
I wouldnt have a problem with it but then OH parents are fab with Olivia and she loves spending time with them. I think it's important to know who your family are.
Luckily we're not apart nor do we intend on being, but I'd be OK and probably set an agreement without having to go to courts etc
even tho i hate my in laws and they treated my oh like crap, his father was also violent to just him out of their 4 children. i would never leave my children alone with them. and since my oh passed they havent made much effort to actualy see my son so doubt theyd even notice if i stopped contact!
which i have been tempted to do for quiet some time.
i think its totaly up to the parents who has access to their children and sometimes keepin the grandparents out is for the best!
yeah i mean my Inlaws are nasty as such but its soo disruped when there they totally undermind any type of parenting me or my Oh do i say no to something to SIL or MIL will go ahead and do it anyway, tell him off for running, and refuse to even put up a pressure stairgate while we are there even though they have it Moan at him about his food and the MIL and SIL try to be mum..
1st time we left him alone with them 4hours told do not take him out his not very well and dont use that pushchair its unsafe.... 5months later found out they took him out in said unsafe pushchair to so posing pictures when he was ill
2nd time we left him 2hours 6am-8am when they where to then drop him off at my mums, they never even gave him a drink or breakfast
3rd and last time 2hours after being snide and trying to make it 4!! still yet to find out what they did that i said no to.
Needless to say the 3rd time will be the last untill kyle can talk properly and understand what he is saying
I feel if they cannot respect mine and my Oh's ways of parenting and what we find acceptable with our child they have no rights to see him alone.
personally for me i don't think it is a good idea as my MIL wouldn't look after morgan correctly last time she had morgan for 2hours she didnt change her nappy even though she was soaking wet she didnt fed her or give her a drink even though we had provided both and we found out she had taken her in the car without the car seat which we had provided
if me & OH ever split up i would be saying she can see morgan while OH has her or in a contact center where i know the staff will make sure morgan's needs are met even if her own grandmother doesn't
first time his mother had zane as when he was 2 weeks old, my oh made me travel up to scotland 5 hour drive so they could meet zane. well we got there and the next day i was so ill. i was being sick constantly plus the other end. i physicaly couldnt look after zane and no could be oh. the next day all she did was moan he didnt sleep! he was 2 weeks old the twat. my mum had zane before this and didnt complain once because hes a baby!
second time i left zane with the bitch in law was when zane was around 3 months old. we came back after only being up the road to having her moan that he was crying, she even left him to sleep sitting up in a pram!
then third time was new yrs eve, she said u go out have fun and ile have zane for the night. we came back at 1am i had had abit to drink and then was faced with her chucking zane at me saying he wouldnt sleep! hes a f*cking baby, i was fuming that she knew i was drinking and then left zane with me.
after that i told my oh zane was never to be left with that ever and i didnt trust them anyway and they have just pointed out to me i shouldnt. i dont even no why im still letting them even talk to me when they can be arsed to that is
I think it's disgusting tbh. A parent has the right to chose who and who does not see their child. Why should a grandparent get the right to see them just because they happen to be the childs mothers mother.
Its different if theyve been a positive influence on the childs life for years then the parents/grandparents fall out and stop contact. Thats very unfair.
from what i've read and from personal experiences, grandparent's have always had some 'rights' with regards to mediation during divorce and separation, this is currently a proposal to allow more rights.
personal i think it's utterly disgusting. for me, grandparent's should have no rights, when a child is raised between two parents, then i believe it's down to them, no one else! personally i can't believe they are trying to implement such ridiculous laws. when a child doesn't see a grandparent there is generally a rather good reason behind this! i no some people use their child as a weapon, but i don't believe this is the way forward, in fact i think it's utterly ridiculous.
this however, could only affect couples in the future divorcing, for now, grandparents have no rights. the most they could do is ask for mediation between the grandparents and parent(s), but as i parent it's your right to refuse!!
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