How much do you want the item that you won? If you want it, maybe you can sort something out, but if you'd rather just get your money back then ask for your refund and then the extra cost of return postage. Make sure she pays the paypal fees if she's sending you postage costs, though. I had someone send a refund as a payment rather than a refund, so I got £0.20 plus 5% of the total payment or whatever it is paypal charges, which isn't much, but it isn't on.
I once had a situation where my item was mixed up with someone elses (they received my item and vice versa) and the seller apologised profusely, emailed us both prepaid postage labels to the right addresses, and asked us to pop them along to the P.O. So both buyers received their correct items quicker than if they'd been returned to the seller then sent out again from there. If that makes sense
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