MIL/Grandparent support thread

Originally Posted by MizzDeeDee

My own mom likes to be called "maw maw". Didn't bother me to be honest until one day I heard her say.." say maw maw.. say maw maw." .. or at least, it sounded like that.

Jumped all over her for it too.

It's funny really. Sometimes I think grandparents in general cross boundaries. It's whether when confronted about it if they learn from it or not. If I tell my parents not to do something again they stop. My MIL(who is really playing nice right now since she was cut-off for about 2 months) when told not to do something would get belligerent or sullen and then do it again.

That sounds like my MIL. She stops speaking to us for days if we tell her she's done something we're not happy about no matter how gently we put it. Then once we're 'forgiven' she'll go right back to doing it again. Our biggest problem is that she walks into our appartment whenever she feels like it without knocking. The appartment is owned by her and she lived there until DH and I moved in and they divided the house into 2 appartments, one for them and one for us. She still treats it like her own home though, will come in and move things about etc. She is so controlling and now she's trying to control what I do with LO too.

Originally Posted by MrsHedgehog

That sounds like my MIL. She stops speaking to us for days if we tell her she's done something we're not happy about no matter how gently we put it. Then once we're 'forgiven' she'll go right back to doing it again. Our biggest problem is that she walks into our appartment whenever she feels like it without knocking. The appartment is owned by her and she lived there until DH and I moved in and they divided the house into 2 appartments, one for them and one for us. She still treats it like her own home though, will come in and move things about etc. She is so controlling and now she's trying to control what I do with LO too.

I live accross from mine... you live basically nextdoor to yours... SO...

Yea, mine will get upset a plays the 'victim' role too no matter how we try to talk to her...cries and gets upset and goes over the top "well, I just won't even talk to LO then because I don't want to hurt your feelings". So I usually have to pick my battles. However, I did get coy with her on facebook the last time she wrote 'mama', by replying to her by saying "Sure, we should have lunch so MayMaw can see LO". Then she had the odasity to inform me that I spelled it wrong! Umm...no...I'm MAMA...you guys are maymaw and pappaw. Even though its still a close name, I'm okay with it, but that's all I need, when LO says mama for the 1st time, she's going to think 'Oh! He said my name!' I just haven't seen her in a few weeks, so haven't had the chance to talk to her about it.

I live down the street from my MIL...I think I would pull my hair out if she lived right next door!!!

My MIL lives at the other end of the country and it still isn't far enough. How do you guys cope?

I'm another who loves far away from my mil and that's still to close lol if I was to live near her I'd of killed her by now!

I think along as we always remember this thread we won't be bitch inlaws lol well I could never be as bad as mine, I hope lol

Originally Posted by moomin_troll

I'm another who loves far away from my mil and that's still to close lol if I was to live near her I'd of killed her by now!

I think along as we always remember this thread we won't be bitch inlaws lol well I could never be as bad as mine, I hope lol

I sure hope we don't get that bad! lol

Its my birthday tomorrow and I've not even had a card from them even tho I sent her one for her bday last year. She can forget ever getting a card from us again :/

pls can i join?

My MIL went mental at my OH as he could only spend an hour with his adult brother on his bday on xmas eve. My OH politely explained to her that his pregnant wife was doing xmas dinner for 12 the next day and needed his support so an hour each way visit to his brother and and an hour visit (total 3 hours) was all we could do on this one year. my OH's brother wasn't even fussed and chuffed that his sibling made the effort at all. We spent xmas with OH's family the yr before so that yr was my turn for us to spend with my family!

and prior to going to his brothers to wish him a happy bday the MIL asked my OH to pick up her sons bday present for her as she couldnt be bothered! My OH had to pay for it!

When my OH rang to wish them a happy xmas the next day she refused to come to the phone

As a result my MIL decided not to bother turning up to my OH's bday a few days later - he didnt get a card or a gift or a phonecall. poor man - not a word from his own mum

I just worry with our little one on the way that the MIL is going to think that treating our child the way she treats her own kids is acceptable - if she refused to wish our LO a happy bday because of a stupid spat or let LO down in any way I'd go nuts

*pulls up a chair*

Oh I am so joining this thread!

I detest my MIL with a passion. Short story is to her, my LO might as well not exist as she only bothers with her daughter's two kids. She's seen LO a handful of times and she is. 7.5 months yet she seen our 3 month old nephew every day of his life.

I know some people would love their MILs to be absent in their lives but we've never encouraged them to be distant. We'd love them to see LO more but they just don't seem to care. My DH is broken hearted because he had no idea they would be so cold... But I knew, woman's instinct and all that.

I'll join too. My mil is ok, I don't have any major dramas with her, but there is just something. I can't quite put my finger on it but she drops litle digs here and there, like a backwards compliment. I don't think I have ever been good enough for her son. I have felt this way long before I married him and had our baby too. She rarely bothers to come and see LO and when she does it is only for a few minutes. She only wants to come when he is awake, never bothers to ask how I am or offered to help out when he was newborn. She ignores me when talking to my husband and when I try to get in on the conversation she talks over the top of me. There are other little things that bug me about her and the way she is with LO but it will have to wait to my next post.