Im currently expecting baby number 2 and after a really crappy experience with DDs hospital birth, I keep debating a home birth this time.
With DD, I had a very long labour. Contractions started Saturday and I finally had her on Tuesday morning. I wasn't listened to in the hospital, all my wishes were taken away regarding having as natural a birth as possible and we ended up with forceps delivery.
I know 'they' aren't allowed to disallow me, but would others feel confident to homebirth after such an experience? - we live next door to fire and ambulance station, but its at least 30 mins to a hospital should things go wrong.
If I were to persue a homebirth, what would others suggest as coping mechanisms etc?
Your story sounds identical to mine! With my daught they didnt listen to me and after such a long labor i was worn down... it was awful! With my son I had a midwife but couldn't afford a homebirth. But went all natural with the help of my amazing midwife.
My advice is if you are not high risk GO FOR IT! It's definitely better having someone you know you can trust and will help you in your plan of natural delivery. And when you get scared or nervous always remeber out bodies are LITTERALLY designed for this! Good luck moma!
I would definitely consider a home birth. I had a home birth with my first, so I have no experience with the hospital really the first time around. Though my daughter was in the hospital when she was small for about 5 days (totally unrelated to birth) and it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. No one really listened and I don't think she got very good care and they mostly just tried to bully me to do what they wanted even when I knew it wasn't the best thing. I didn't have any negativity towards hospitals to begin with (just thought being at home seemed easier and more relaxing), but after that experience, I can't have imagined giving birth there and I hope I never have to!
I am incredibly thankful I had my daughter at home. We live about 20 minutes from our local hospital, which I think is plenty close. Midwives really can provide all emergency care at home, except for a c-section, but even if an emergency did arise where you needed a c-section, it takes a good 20-30 minutes to prep the theatre and assemble a team and get you to sign all the paperwork. So if you're at home, they do that during you're transfer rather than leaving you sitting in a side room waiting. But the good thing is that just being at home means you are much less likely to need any form of intervention anyway. My birth was relatively quick, 11 hours from absolutely nothing happening and no clue labour was about to start, to waters going, mild period cramps and then real contractions. I went from nothing to fully dilated in 7 hours at home. I did have a long 2nd stage (pushing) because my daughter was back to back so contractions slowed up while she was turning, so I was pushing on and off for about 4 hours. But otherwise, it was still generally really quick. I think that had a lot to do with being at home.
As for tips for coping, I would really recommend looking into natal hypnotherapy. I think it's wonderful. I was really comfortable during labour. I didn't even make any noise until I was pushing. Actually my midwives came and almost left because they didn't think I was in labour! But then after one of them sat and watched me for a bit, she realised the contractions were actually pretty close together, so asked if she could check me and I was already fully dilated. I put that down to the natal hypnotherapy. You might also look into getting a birth pool if you would consider a water birth. I personally had my daughter on dry land kneeling on our bedroom floor as that was most comfortable (I had a pool but didn't like it and won't get one next time). But lots of people do like them. I found a TENS machine was great. For me, it worked much better than the pool (and obviously you can only use one or the other!).
I would have a look on Facebook for a group called Home Birth Chat Group, which is a very helpful and friendly UK-based home birth group. The ladies there will have lots of advice and be really supportive.
I wasn't listened to during my first labour and I hate staying in the hospital, my second was a homebirth and I felt listened to and in control but it was a fight to get there as some midwives around here can't distinguish between tell and advise. It was so worth it though as the midwives who came out were so supportive and lovely. I'm due my third and I don't care who I have to put in their place it would take a big reason for me to birth anywhere else.
Thanks ladies. I definitely feel better prepared to stand my ground. Im actually a student midwife and have already noticed how differently I have been spoken to this time round (once they clock my occupation in my notes).
I think my community midwife would be on board. She knew I was applying to uni etc when I had DD so well aware Im more knowledgeable now. :-)
Dont think a pool would be practical at our house but still think birthing at home would be so much better.
I had a hb second time round & am planning to again. My 1st was iugr & i had very low af so was induced at 37 weeks a hospital birth couldn't have been avoided but still feel I wasn't listened to. Ended up in forceps delivery which I now feel was good & am just happy she was here safely. What I hated was afterwards we were in for 5 days after a 2 day induction so 7 in total. We were over looked a lot & in hindsight I should have just discharged us but anyway.....
I was consultant led with 2nd but made it clear I wanted hb growth scans were fine & I was very much supported all the way.
Labour was long but much more manageable at home. Dh even felt more at ease. I had a pool but didn't deliver in it.
I would definitely recommend a hb. There's nothing like your own bed & shower after! Ha.
Coping mechanisms. Hypnobirthing was fab for me. Believe you can do it. Get oh ready & on board.
Getting midwifes to agree to my home birth wasn't a battle at all you'll probably find your very supported which makes it so much easier.
I have had two home births and no hospital experience but my first labour sounds a bit like yours. My contractions started Saturday night and she wasnt born until Monday afternoon. My contractions were a bit slow and all over the place even twards the end they were not regular. I was very glad that we had chosen to have a HB because i was able to stay as relaxed and active as possible. I even had a short sleep before pushing. The MW was begining to get worried about how long it was taking but was respectful of the fact I wanted to give things plenty on time as long as baby was happy. I think I would have been under huge pressure to have interventions I didnt want at hospital. The only intervention I did have was having my waters broken late Monday morning to help speed things up. That is not something i had wanted but because things were progressing so slow after talking to the MW about it we decided it was the best option.
My second labour was also at home but progressed much better and was faster despite the fact he was 11lbs, lol.
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