I'm not sure whether it's to late or not to decide on a home birth and what plans actually go into it and what pain relief is available when your at home ?
My other half works away and I'm paranoid he won't make it home in time. We also have a little girl and she would need taking to his sisters before I went to the hospital which is a 40 mins round trip and I just worry I won't be able to do it all and my other half can't take any time of leading up to when it could happen as he's self employed and doesn't get paid for any time of he has which we can't afford specially with the run up to xmas.
I'm even having dreams that I have the baby at home by accident and I've even got it in my head that if he can't get home I will just have to try and stay at home and deliver her myself (obviously I would call an ambulance as well) it just seems like the easier more appropriate option as won't have to mess about possibly getting my little girl out of bed at stupid o clock in the morning and distrupting everyone else as well
Any help or experience would be much appreciated
I have had two HBs and they were lovely experiences for us. I think its important that you truely like the idea and feel comfortable with the idea in terms of risks etc. After lots of research and considering our circumstances etc I actually felf like a home birth was the safest choice me and our baby. After the 1st one I'd never want anything else if it was possible. I wouldn't feel fourced into it out of convenience alone because if you have doupts you might panic once in labour. It is certainly true though than it is nice not to have to worry about getting to hospital, child care etc. Being in a flap about arrangemets and how to get everyone where they need to be in time might not help towards a smooth and relaxed labour. I really do think that being relaxed helps labour progress which can reduce the need for interventions etc.
In the UK you can decide on a HB at any time, even when you are in labour. Some doctors and MWs are good at coming up with excuses why you 'can't ' have a HB so don't be put off if they are a bit awkward to start. Generally you will get the support you need when it comes to it bjt sometimesthat means standing your ground. Of course there are sometimes genuine medical reasons it might not not be advisable to attempt a HB but they are legally responsible to support your choice no matter what the circumstances.
In the UK I believe they offer gass and air at a HB. I am not sure if anything else is available.
I feel I would be more relaxed at home specially if my other half was travelling home there's no way I would relax being in hospital on my own in labour not knowing what time he would get to me. I'm seeing my midwife Tuesday so I'm going to speak to her about it I just don't want to mess anyone around for example agree to a home birth and then last minute find I can't cope and end up going to the hospital.
When you go into labour what do you do ring the labour ward and they send a midwife to you ?
Were is the best place to give birth and what happens about "mess" etc
Yes, I think they send 2 MWs. If they know before in some places they send a birth box with stuff they need before you actually go into labour.
Usually the mess isn't as bad as you would think. MWs are really good at containing it and tidying up after. I think you will be told a list of a few things to get like disposal bed protectors, the type used for incontinence. A plastic sheet or cheep shower curtain can be handy. I put waterproof mattress covers on the bed and couch. That was handy for after the birth anyway because I didn't have to worry about leaking at night. The sheets got covered in blood and a couple of towels and muslin cloths but they just got shoved straight in the wash and the blood all came out. You could use old ones and bin them after if you rather.
Please don't worry about messing any one around. You have every right to change your mind at any time and the MWs won't mind. Lots of mums do end up getting transfered to hospital for a variety of reasons, including more pain relief. Of course it is good to be prepared and reasonably sure of your choice to stay at home but labour is unpredictable so you can't know how everything will go before. If you end up needing to transfer that is totally valid. Its like starting labour at hospital without an epidural but there is nothing to say you can't change your mind. Even if you did end up transfering at least you would get to spend the most time possible at home.
My other half is coming round to the idea and has agreed it would make things easier.
My midwife last week told me I needed to have made a decision by the time I'm 37 weeks which is when I next go to see her next Tuesday. I'm really considering it now she just said (in a really mean way as well) that I would still need childcare arrangements because if there was a medical emergency and I needed to be taken to hospital they can't be waiting for us to ring round and find someone to have our little girl which I totally understand.
I'm worrying I'll struggle with the pain but also feel like I'll be more relaxed at home I am just really worrying about were is the best place to give birth and what happens if I decided after a few hours I need more pain relief will I have messed the midwives around ?
I know we can ring my other halfs sister when I go into labour and let her know that the baby is coming and that we may need her to come get our little girl so the childcare should be a problem. She also said they call round and do an assessment on the house to make sure we have enough light and space. How big does the house have to be ? Where has everyone given birth at home ?
I had a homeborth for ds3 and I loved it. As others have said you can change your mind at any time but they usually like to do an appt at home around 36 weeks so if I think it's best I would let your mw know asap. You don't have to give birth in water you can have a dry labour at home. (I planned a water birth but we couldn't get the water the right temp despite the hot water being on for ages, our house just didn't have a large enough hot water tank) thu told me at my appt they take no risks at home and if anything were to happen an ambulance would be called.
If you plan a waterbirth I recommended waterbaby birth pool hire if they have availability, they will send everything you need and you can keep for 5-6 weeks and they also collect for the price of £90.
Have lots of plastic sheets and old bath towels (I brought cheap towels I didn't mind ruined) have a homebirth and hosptial bag packed just in case. And a loaf of bread and fillers in case it's a long labour (for the mw)
I still arranged care for the other 2, they're young and still have demands and don't understand why they can't be met straight away. It wouldn't of been fair on them or my oh. Luckily my oh drove to my parents to drop them off and came back
What your MW said is technically wrong. Of course it makes sense to be prepaired and give them warning when possible but you can phone them while in labour and say you want a HB. It is their legal responsibility to support your choice, no matter when you make it.
As far as child care it also makes sense to have someone lined up in case of an emergency but its not like they can refuse to attend you even if you didn't. DD was 20 months when her brother was born and she was there for the birth. We had an independent MW but she was totally supportive of having DD there or not as we prefered. We just kept our options open and had my parents, who live 5mins away on standby incase we felt it was too much or there was an emergency.
I can't help you with the homebirth aspect, but it sounds like a big issue for you is being alone. Have you considered a doula? I had one at my birth and it was great to have someone who was there simply for my comfort.
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