Ive said this elsewhere before but you dont 'try' to run the marathon - you commit to doing it, prepare and then go for it. If something crops up en route you may adjust your plans but its important to have that goal or as you say may just float along with the tide and go with who ever pulls or pushes you hardest. Commitment to your birth is key in achieving it. no one ever made their dreams come true by going with the flow and just hoping for the best!

In my case i wanted a natural 3rd stage as i wanted delayed cord clamping. That couldent happen as she needed resusitating so the cord needed to be cut asap to take her to the resusitare. The reason i wanted the natural 3rd stage wasent there anymore so i then chose to have a manged 3rd stage.

I dont see the defferance in rethinking and decideing at the time lol, of course you can have a preferance but for some people if you are adamant your doing xyz but if things have to chance it can leave you with regrets and a sence of guilt.

I am and have been committed to a natural third stage but wanted to know if I have overlooked any reason not to choose this. I didn't even get asked with my first-a theme that ran through the whole induced intervention based, prolonged labour and delivery. This time I am committed to a natural hypno waterbirth, if all goes to plan, and that includes the third stage too hopefully. However as they say, the best laid plans of man and mouse...

This thread has been really helpful for me thank you

Hmmmm.... This is interesting to me, because something similar happend with my first baby. What I have never understood is: his cord and placenta were not compromised, so he should still have been receiving oxygen etc. from there. He came out "needing resus" - surely that means he needs what the cord and placenta have to offer even more than a baby who comes out NOT needing resus? I could not understand why they cut the cord in order to resus him, it seemed so..... illogical. Why not leave it intact and resus him RIGHT NEXT to me? That way he gets everything he should have from the placenta AND he gets any additional help from the staff that he might need. I still don'tget it....

There is an enormous difference between "going with the flow" (ie, not making a plan at all) and making a plan but being flexible about it. I know, because I have done both. Without fail, where I have planned in advance, the outcome has been better than when I have thought "oh I will just see how it goes".

The first time, I had NO plan. I also had zero control over how ANYTHING was managed. Everything was directed by the hospital staff and, frankly, it was a bloody nightmare from start to finish.

My second baby I knew what my options were, I knew what my preferences were, and yes we did have to change plans a little on the day, but overall the experience was WONDERFUL. The only part I would change for "next time", would be a firmer "birth plan" for the part I didn't really bother with this time....

(Now, see if you can guess which part I neglected in my plan and decided to just "go with the flow", and which part was the bit that went Pete Tong and required us to change what we did on the day... )

Most women I know spend MONTHS planning a wedding, if not years! Anything could happen, it could rain, they might become ill, guests might get drunk and get into a fight, the cake might get knocked over and spoiled, she might get a giant ZIT on her chin on the morning of the wedding.... SO much she can't control, why bother planning anything, right?

There is absolutely an element of surrender in birth. But that doesn't mean give up any hopes or preferences you may have. You stack the odds in your favour, you get your ducks in a row.... So that on the day you have the freedom and confidence to let go and surrender.... IF something crops up that requires a change of plan, you deal with that and move forward without beating yourself up over it, this is entirely different than NOT giving yourself that "safe space" in which to surrender to the birth process in the first place.

I asked my midwife about forgoing injection and having natural 3rd stage and she seemed pretty shocked and asked why as 90% of women have it now and they encourage you to have it so you don't bleed excessively. She did say it was my decision but you might get the midwife huffing and checking their watch ass they won't want to wait around! My mum thinks the 90% of people are encouraged to have the injection to save time on their part as she never heard of such an injection when having us and to go with what I want but now I'm not so sure, what if the mw makes me feel uncomfortable about it all due to having to wait around? I don't like to think I'm going against the grain completely...now I'm afraid to ask about delayed cord clamping as that will take even more time... no one discussed these thin.vs with me as options, they are ideas I have come across from reading on here...why were they not discussed? Although these mw seems lovely I'm getting the feeling already its going to be very medically laid care...

It's not discussed because as you said it (sometimes) saves them time (and therefore staff) to give the injection and pull it out. There should be no huffing and puffing and if there is I'd remind them its not about their convenience contrary to what they my believe!

My midwives encouraged me to try to plan not to have the injection if everything was going well with the birth and I could always change my mind (or they could advise me to if for some reason they thought it was necessary). They took the stance that if you are having a natural home birth, why have an injection once the baby is out.

Our current plan is to have the injection on hand in case we need it, but to have a physiological third stage unless I'm bleeding too heavily or something. That's the thing, you can't change your mind after the injection, but you can change your mind the other way.

I'm really scared of a retained placenta - they have to do a D&C don't they to get it out? That'd just remind me too much of my miscarriage, and the D&C knocked me about so much then it was awful. I'll be putting Bubs to the breast pretty much straight away and hoping that helps get the placenta out. Any other tips to go natural?

Delayed cord clamping will help prevent a retained placenta, as well as so many other benefits. I would highly suggest it!