Doula?

tinytabby · Apr 10th, 2012, 15:26 PM

I am planning a home birth, and was just thinking it would be myself, OH and the midwife (or midwives).

A friend said I should hire a doula too but I'm not sure. I know there are a few douas here do it'd be great to hear what you think, but also anyone who's hired one - what were the benefits and would you hire her again?

madasa · Apr 10th, 2012, 17:35 PM

I wish I'd hired one. Both times. If I have any more children, I definitely will. For so many reasons!

With my second baby, my birth was very positive and I loved it. We did have some problems afterwards though - me and DH both panicked a bit and having someone there to help keep us calm and reassured would have been brilliant. We transferred at that point and lost continuity of care.... if we'd had a doula to transfer with us I think that would have helped a lot. Ante natally and post natally, we often felt trapped and a bit "bullied" by the "system" - having a doula to help us navigate policies and what not would have been a godsend.

fifi-folle · Apr 11th, 2012, 08:13 AM

I'd love to but can't afford it

Where in Scotland are you, I have a few friends who've used a doula, could pass on recommendations...

Tacey · Apr 11th, 2012, 09:58 AM

I'm so glad we've hired a doula this time. DH struggled a lot last time as he didn't know how to help me. He was also exhausted but couldn't nip off for a break. I felt I didn't get the emotional support that would have helped. I feel so much more confident knowing I have our doula on the end of the phone. She's a very calming, reassuring woman, and is great at gently helping DH see how he can support me. I'd definitely recommend meeting a few to see what you think.

madasa · Apr 11th, 2012, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fifi-folle

I'd love to but can't afford it

Where in Scotland are you, I have a few friends who've used a doula, could pass on recommendations...

If you are on any benefits at all, have a look at the Doula UK Access Fund. "A doula for all."

I'm still a new doula and not completed the recognition process, so my fees are very low compared to the more experienced doulas who have been doing it for years. I have also worked basically for peanuts, just to gain experience and I know I am not alone.

fifi-folle · Apr 11th, 2012, 10:36 AM

Not on benefits fortunately but I'm not working or getting MA now.

lozzy21 · Apr 11th, 2012, 11:17 AM

I think it defiantly helps having some female support during your labour and if you don't have a mother or close friend you want there then a doula is defiantly the way to go.

aliss · Apr 11th, 2012, 11:28 AM

I agree doula is a way to go.

Bless men. Mine was wonderful.

BUT

Men do not like seeing their wives in pain. OR, their way to help is "don't be a wuss"

How can these poor guys possibly relate? Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

The majority of doulas have birthed naturally and will understand you, and encourage you accordingly. Women don't become doulas if they don't believe in the power of gentle encouragement of natural labour.

I have my doula meeting next week, I look forward to meeting her. I wish I had her with my 1st! My OH was wonderful and supportive of natural delivery but could not encourage me the same as a doula could.

tinytabby · Apr 11th, 2012, 14:00 PM

Thanks everyone. Your comments are really helpful. OH is a pretty steady kind of guy, he was my rock last year when I had a hideous medical procedure done to my broken elbow and I screamed like an animal! I don't know how well he will cope for labour but he's sure he can do it without a doula - he's not that keen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fifi-folle

I'd love to but can't afford it

Where in Scotland are you, I have a few friends who've used a doula, could pass on recommendations...

I'm in Glasgow. Recommendations would be fab, thanks. The jury's still out but it might not hurt to talk to some.

fifi-folle · Apr 11th, 2012, 14:09 PM

ah sorry I'm east coast

Apr 10th, 2012, 15:26 PM	#1
tinytabby Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,112	Doula? I am planning a home birth, and was just thinking it would be myself, OH and the midwife (or midwives). A friend said I should hire a doula too but I'm not sure. I know there are a few douas here do it'd be great to hear what you think, but also anyone who's hired one - what were the benefits and would you hire her again?

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Apr 10th, 2012, 17:35 PM	#2
madasa Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Shropshire, UK Posts: 3,152	I wish I'd hired one. Both times. If I have any more children, I definitely will. For so many reasons! With my second baby, my birth was very positive and I loved it. We did have some problems afterwards though - me and DH both panicked a bit and having someone there to help keep us calm and reassured would have been brilliant. We transferred at that point and lost continuity of care.... if we'd had a doula to transfer with us I think that would have helped a lot. Ante natally and post natally, we often felt trapped and a bit "bullied" by the "system" - having a doula to help us navigate policies and what not would have been a godsend.

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 08:13 AM	#3
fifi-folle Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Fife, Scotland Posts: 2,972	I'd love to but can't afford it Where in Scotland are you, I have a few friends who've used a doula, could pass on recommendations...

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Apr 11th, 2012, 09:58 AM	#4
Tacey Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2008 Location: Warwickshire Posts: 5,953	I'm so glad we've hired a doula this time. DH struggled a lot last time as he didn't know how to help me. He was also exhausted but couldn't nip off for a break. I felt I didn't get the emotional support that would have helped. I feel so much more confident knowing I have our doula on the end of the phone. She's a very calming, reassuring woman, and is great at gently helping DH see how he can support me. I'd definitely recommend meeting a few to see what you think.

Status: Online

Apr 11th, 2012, 10:36 AM	#6
fifi-folle Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Fife, Scotland Posts: 2,972	Not on benefits fortunately but I'm not working or getting MA now.

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Apr 11th, 2012, 11:17 AM	#7
lozzy21 Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Teesside, Posts: 23,583	I think it defiantly helps having some female support during your labour and if you don't have a mother or close friend you want there then a doula is defiantly the way to go.

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Apr 11th, 2012, 11:28 AM	#8
aliss AutoSignup (SAAB) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Québec Posts: 24,332	I agree doula is a way to go. Bless men. Mine was wonderful. BUT Men do not like seeing their wives in pain. OR, their way to help is "don't be a wuss" How can these poor guys possibly relate? Damned if they do, damned if they don't. The majority of doulas have birthed naturally and will understand you, and encourage you accordingly. Women don't become doulas if they don't believe in the power of gentle encouragement of natural labour. I have my doula meeting next week, I look forward to meeting her. I wish I had her with my 1st! My OH was wonderful and supportive of natural delivery but could not encourage me the same as a doula could.

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 14:09 PM	#10
fifi-folle Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Fife, Scotland Posts: 2,972	ah sorry I'm east coast

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