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Old Jan 14th, 2013, 15:43 PM   1
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those of you with 4 or more kids

Did you notice any change in your middle child, when they were no longer the only middle child?

Does it even count as them being a middle child any more, if there are now 4 (or more) kids in the family, or are they now just the "second child" ?

I wonder sometimes if my DS1 acts like a PITA because he does feel a bit sidelined as a middle child. Not that we'd do it intentionally of course, but I guess DD does get more responsibility than he does, in that we ask her to do things more often than we'd ask him to, but on the other hand DS2 gets more "babied" in a way. I can see it happening, yet I'm unsure how to change that.

But when the baby comes along, DS2 will also be a "middle child" along with DS1. I'm wondering if that might change DS1 in a positive way, as he'll no longer feel alone in his "middle child" position?

I don't know if I'm over-thinking this a bit.

Just wondering what your experiences were, those of you who have 4 or more kids. How did your middle kid deal with no longer being the only middle kid? Positively? No difference? Negatively? (if so, how?)

Cheers in advance

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Old Jan 14th, 2013, 16:14 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
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I wonder the same hun, so be interesting to see what other have to say

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Old Jan 21st, 2013, 16:24 PM   3
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I'm a bit late to this conversation, but for me, it didn't make a difference, or needed to, since the genders of my children were different. I have an 11 year old DS who's the eldest. He gets the most responsibility. Then I have a 9 year old DD, who has never felt like the "middle" child because when DS2 came (he's 4 now) she was still our only daughter and treated as the princess she were, LOL. She is also maternal instinct personified, so when she got her baby brother, she just doted on him, and today they're literally inseparable. They play together every minute they can. So when I had our 4th baby, another DD, none of the elder 3 were phased in any way. My DD1 prayed and begged and pleaded with God to give her a sister, so she was over the moon and still is, about her babysister. My 3rd child, DS2, also loves his baby sister, but he's much more interested in DD1 than whether there's a baby in the house or if he's still the youngest or not. I think it helped that he was already 4 when baby was born.

So to answer your my opinion, it depends on your family dynamica, and the genders/ages of the children involved. My guess would be that it most certainly would help your DS1.

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Old Jan 22nd, 2013, 11:01 AM   4
Mum (Mom)
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I only have two kids... but, I'll add my two cents For what that is worth... LOL.

I do think that placement in your family does have an affect- not intentionally of course, but in general there are some "traits" that first borns tend to have... or middle... or last etc... Whether you have 1 kid or 10. BUT- it can just as well be based on their genetics or environment or family or friends... it all plays a role in molding us into who we are and become.

Just being aware of it I think helps. Then you can assess and decide what action, if any, is needed. Our oldest was 14yrs when our LO was born. So she is very much an "only child" - even though she no longer is. But I know having her sister was amazing and fun for her- yet, it did cause her to feel a little left out. Not even necessarily by us, as her parents, but by others- since we'd visit people and she was no longer the "kid". There was a new baby for people to fawn over etc...

We just make sure to give her as much attention as we can. Within reason of course. Obviously there are times our LO needs more from us- that's kinda how it works with small children. LOL. And it's not always an easy balance to keep up- time for ME, for Hubby, for SD, for LO... for work, family, friends. ACK! It's a lot. But, just take it each day as it comes- do your best and give all your kids love and it will be fine

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