Struggling to listen, bad attitude. Please help me before i pack a bag.
Ds has been realy struggleing yo listen at school recently. A gtoup of them ( year 1, so aged 5/6) got detention for chatting and not listening. Ds has got detention again tomorrow, for twisting a kids arm for no reason. Tbh, im not surprised. He has had a crappy attitude at home for a couple weeks now, and is fighting / argueing / attacking either his sister or his dad at home. I get the cheek and argueing, but oh and dd get attacked ( hitting, kicking, pulling, screaming right in their faces) he chases dd round the house growling at her and she gets scared and ends up running into a door. This motning ds tried shoving OH while he had a cup of tea, so oh asked him to stop, ds carried on, oh put his hand out infront of him while he put his tea down ( he was bringing it in from the kitchen) ds throws himself to the floor. As soon as i come down ds tells me OH shoved him. Ds had his tablet taken off him a few weeks ago, and hasnt had it back because of the behaviour. Im so sick of argueing with him, i know oh is too. I spoke to his teacher again today, and she daid she will get back to me at the end of the week with an idea of what we could do to help him. Tbh im not holding out much hope because i tried to discuss hos behaviour before it got this badn she said she would get back to me to book an appointment with her but still hasnt and its been a few weeks. His behaviour at school has gotten worse since the arrival of the new teacher. It could be a coincidence because his tonsils have gotten bigger since before xmas and this is causing him sleepless ( not by much, he wakes up coughing alot. But combined with his lack of ironhe needs a good solid 12 hours of sleep to be in a decent mood) nights. Im going to book him in to see the gp tomorrow, see if we can get a blood test to see how bad his iron is. He barely eats real food, just lots of carbs. His diet is in no way varied. His lunch is the same everyday. I just have no idea what to do. His old teacher was fab, and always made time for us, and took the time to listen when i tried to pre warn her about his behaviour. Therefore anticipating it and nipping it in the bud before it got to a point of detention. I should add, we can tell his behaviours going to get bad, when his coughing gets bad in the night and he starts having accidents. We always try to let the teacher know. He just doesnt listen. Even with his after school atctivuty today he just zoned out and had no idea what was happening. We are waiting for an appointment foe his tonsills to be removed but have been told it could be over a years wait.
Im so sorry this is long jumbled mess. Thanks for reading. Apologies for the typos. Im on my phone.
Eta: when he isnt like this, he is lovely, such a polite, well mannered, thoughtfull, caring little guy. He is so smart, he amazes me with his love for learning. I sometimes wonder if he isnt being challeneged enough in school. The books he brings home he reads in a matter of minutes, his homework is done in usualy 5/10 minutes. He says alot of the work is too easy so he gets bored.
Thank you. I took him to the gp the otherday. He basically fobbed me off and said i needed to see the school nurse, the school nurse who is is once a month and only if she has enough appointments booked. I asked OH to book into see her when he droped ds off the otherday and the school said they would contact me, that was friday, i havnt heard anything since.
Iv contacted the hospital, they said he was on the waiting list, but to contact the waiting list department who may be able to give me a timeframe for his wait. Iv been ringing them since friday but they never answer. Iv also spoken to a couple different people ( professionals from 2 different companies) who have said they have no advice. I wondered if some sort of therapy would help him deal with his feelings. I may see if my therapist has any suggestions.
On the plus side, we had a lovely weekend, no bad serious bad behaviour. The few spells we did have were quickly resolved with talking, and they didnt seen so awfull because it was only a few moments. He hasnt been in any trouble at school since thursday, we have a meeting with his teacher thursday, again im sure she will cancel, but will wait and see. Ds hasnt been coughing as much the last few days, so hasnt been keeping himself awake. Im hoping this is him starting to feel better and so his behaviour will improve. Will keep on at the achool because im keen to get this dealt with before the next time he isnt feeling to good.
Can he get his tonsils out if they are interfering with his sleep?
Yes, thats one of the reasons they decided to remove them. Unfortunately we have no idea how long it will be untill they are removed. They will be removing them just no idea when. Whwn i spoke to the hospital they said they had no idea, they are currently working on people who have been waiting 3 months but also people qho have been waiting over a year.
It sounds like his illness /lack of sleep is affecting his behaviour. Also sounds like his class teacher is being pretty useless. Where in the world are you?
Keep harassing the doctors until something is done, but it also sounds like you need to address some things at home. Try to improve his diet, maybe look for professional advice on how to do that.
Regarding the school, bypass the teacher and make an appointment with the HT.
The teachers new, i realy want to give her a chance but today we turned up and she came over and said she couldnt actually see me today because she had to get to an urgent meeting. So i went to the deputy head. Who is going to have a chat with her. We have been told to see her tomorrow to book another meeting and he or someone else will be present for that.
He has previously seen a dietition. They weighed him, and discusses his eating offered the usual suggestions, no snacks, try a bite of everything, hide veg, all of which we have been doing even after he was discharged from them. However he still doesnt eat a great diet. They discharged us because he gained 1kg over the course of several months. He is booked in for a blood test because we think his iron levels are low, i imagine they will prescribe iron medication, and suggest we keep it up through food, which is impossible because he doesnt eat. Thanks all.
That's so tough. I'm a teacher and actually gobsmacked at a teacher acting like that. No meeting trumps a pre arranged appointment with a parent.
Thanks, i didnt know if i was being a bit silly. I was meant to talk to her thia morning but she wasnt there, i had another teacher approach me and have arranged something for the end of the first week back. Which is a pain because iv been dealing with this for years and asked for the firat meeting over 4 weeks ago
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