Oh dear, I feel like this already and I only have a single toddler!
My issue is that I'm so busy working full time that when I get home I'm so bloody tired that all I want to do is have a half hour to myself, then she is climbing all over me, and I just feel really stressed all the time! She wants my attention all evening which is understanding because she hasn't seen me all day, but I want to do nice quiet things with her and all she wants to do is run and jump and spin, which makes me feel really guilty! Do you work a lot by any chance?
I really wish I could be at home more and enjoy her, she's tired when I get up for work and then tired again within a few hours of me coming home, so she just seems to be a grump the entire time, when in fact she's lovely all day. When I'm at work!
I too get exhausted and stressed. My DH's aunt said that the moment she gets her daughter to bed its better than an orgasm I know how she feels! I have twin boys that are nearly 2 and a half. Some days are better than others, like today was not too stressful and there were loads of lovely moments of them playing together, hugs, cute remarks and feeling they have learnt something. Other days when they seem to be naughty for no reason, and fight, and have tantrums non stop, and I'm tired, I just want to fast forward my day til its time for them to go bed. Its often such a precious experience, but then again, its often not lol I find that if i've had a chance to destress and rest a bit, I enjoy my children so much more, and have more patience etc but that is not always possible.
I think my 3 yr old is the crux of the problem, I think if I didn't have him it would be fine. I've changed the swimming so it's on a Saturday and hubby can come to help. My 3 yr old goes to preschool on a Monday (as my older son did and ds will too), he is saying he doesn't want to go and wants to be with me. But he's with me on a Friday and it doesn't feel like he wants to be with me! He is jealous of dd but I'm not sending her to nursery just because he is jealous. We have one on one time but at obviously not as much as if there were less children. He loves his brother and sister but I think wants the best of both worlds. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should adjust his days so he goes two half days instead of one full day
YES I am actually talking Kalms etc trying to deal with myself as I find I have a very short tether - my DS who is 3 is such hardwork I work full time and I am exhausted (DD still has yet to sleep through the night) and so I lose it with him quickly when he is being a nightmare!
I read something the other day which really helped me and that was that children play up most for their mothers because you are their safe place where they feel the most loved and safest that they can release all the tension & stresses of their day but know that we will still love them!
This really helped me and also I read something and now I keep repeating it to myself when he is being a d1ck "He is having a hard time"
Since reminding myself of these things and repeating this I find I can calm down and deal with him better
If not I remove myself or him from being near me just to breathe - I want to enjoy my time with him not dread it
Mine are 6years 5months (girl) and 4years 8months (boy)
It's very hardgoing and stressful. Same as other Mums are saying - they are model children at school/nursery with glowing reports and they don't do anything particularly awful and are kind/polite etc with others. But they do fight, whine, make a mess, help themselfs to snacks and refuse dinner, answer back, tantrum etc. constantly.
My younger one is not safe for a minute - he climbs, jumps, runs at roads, opens the car door, throws tantrums etc. He is at 2 nurseries and neither have any concerns about him saying that many 4 year old boys are similar. My eldest is easier and more trustworthy/safe now but does fight something awful with her brother and winds him up on purpose.
Both are disrespectful of me and our house and rude but would never dream of speaking to another adult like that or treating another house the way they do here.
I have success with the naughty step when I stick to it. Toy confiscations etc. don't work for us.
I would try and deal with one thing at a time -
The swimming thing I wouldn't tolerate. One warning and then I'd have removed them for 5 mins (without another warning) and if it happened again I'd have removed them and ended the lesson.
The pre-school issue I would explain gently that he got to stay home with Mum when he was babys age so everybody gets the exact same and keep making this point. My eldest gets jealous as my youngest is at home with me all day Monday while she's at school (I work the other days so both are at school/nursery Tues-Fri). They were quite a lot of tears when this first started in January but after about the 4th Monday and I'd kept on explaining that when she was 4 she stayed home too she accepted it. It sounds bad but I don't do anything exciting with youngest on a Mon as then feel like eldest is missing out so I wait until the weekend!
I'm strict on sleep as they are 10 times worse when they are tired.
I sometimes make empty threats (stopping screentime or cancelling something) which really makes it worse as they don't think I am serious when I threaten punishment - I think it's supposed to be really important to follow through and would help us.
You aren't alone. My sister have 3 boys 10,6 and 4 who fight endlessly and I'm very friendly with a lot of the Mums from school who's kids look perfect but they will tell me that they are exactly the same as mine. Hugs xx
I am so glad I read this post.
This is my two! Drives me up the wall. My son turned 7 last week and my daughter is 2 & 1/2. I've been feeling guilty about leaving their dad 18 months ago and putting all their behaviour issues on that. But I think it's just being children. The worse time of day for me is after school before they've had dinner. I try my best to be there with my son but he's so shouty and loud I can't bear it. So then he turns on his sister and they spend the next hour fighting. I'm a single parent so I have no choice but to let them get on with it as we'd never eat! I'm hoping one day they'll get on or just learn to ignore each other !
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