Am I the only one that finds it all so bloody stressful?
I thought it was my children but I'm starting to think it's me. They are so naughty and demanding. I just can't take my eye off them for a second. They don't do anything particularly bad,they will fight and argue but they are not especially violent, they are kind to their sister. This is the two boys I'm talking about who are 5 and 3. They are good at school (mostly)
The way they speak to me is so rude, they will demand things even though I always ask them to say please and never give anything unless they say please. They will make a mess on purpose with their dinner and copy their sister even though they know she's a baby and doesn't understand. At bedtime they will get out of bed and mess around.
As I say it's nothing terrible but it is so constant and relentless. Every second I am with them I am directing them or trying to politely tell them not to do anything. I try hard to arrange nice activities for them and really they're probably a bit spoilt. Eg swimming lessons they don't listen to the teacher, one is jumping in when they're supposed to be sat on the side and the other is biting bits off the woggle and spitting them everywhere- why?! I just find most of the time I don't enjoy them and am waiting for them to go to bed. I try asking nicely, the naughty step, taking priveliges or toys away and nothing seems to work. Sometimes I will just reach the end of my tether and shout at them. I guess I'm wondering if everyone's life is like this, like a constant high alert for unsafe/ bad behaviour.
My kids are younger but yes i feel like this at times. Some days its so nice and were all getting on so well but alot of the time its just me just constantly asking them to stop doing things over and over eughh so draining!!
One thing that has reallyyyy helped me is iv stopped going on my phone when im with them. i keep it for when there at nursery/playgroup as i found if i was on here or on fb or msging someone and they were wanting my attention id actually be annoyed at them when really of course they want my attention!
Its still alot of hard work at times but i do feel like since iv stopped going on my phone and iv stopped going and doing big cleaning jobs when there being needy that it has really improved. Maybe you dont go on your phone anyway, i really feel you though like i will set up a nice activity - maybe the motion sand and they will bicker over one particular sand mould shape and before i know it there is a full blown screaming match and sand everywhere. It has to get easier though, right?
I don't know about everyone else, but my boys are 5 and almost 3 and YES, I feel I am on high alert for chaos and destruction every second of the day and yes, it is thoroughly exhausting... I know what you mean. They do awful things sometimes, but even the little things because they are constant it is completely exhausting and by bedtime I feel like Im all knotted up with stress! It is so hard.
ETA: though it is really only my 5 year old who is causing all the stress. He has a very difficult personality and is hyperactive and explosive (the slightest frustration sets him off like a bomb...) and his chaos really dominates the household when he is home.
My girls are EXACTLY as you describe. The youngest is just as guilty as the other 2. Spend all day being a referee, trying not to shout too much and checking to see how long until bedtime.
If one so much as steps in the others direction, they start moaning and shouting at each other. Almost NEVER play together unless running at a million mph and someone always ends up getting hurt.
All of them get glowing reports from school/nursery, you know the whole 'model pupil' 'an absolute delight to teach' 'a perfect little angel' rubbish that makes me wonder what the hell am I doing so wrong that they act up so much for me!?
The only thing they can all do peacefully is crafts, playdoh, drawing, that sort of stuff. So we try to do that as much as possible... but honestly I just try to cope each day as it comes and tell myself that it will get easier (have been doing that for a while actually and still waiting!)
It's not just you, although my sons issues are more developmental. He's 2 in an almost 6 year old body. It's got to the point where I've had to get professional help from a team of psychologists etc. He's not intentionally naughty as such he doesn't deliberately destroy things and he doesn't swear etc but everything is a battle. He's very violent without meaning to be. He just doesn't understand. Big hugs you're not alone xxxx
Yeah, my 2 are like this. There are times they get along really, really well and have a great time playing nicely. I treasure those moments....LOL. Then there are plenty of other times when they fight, yell at each other, fight over toys, throw things at each other, etc and I just feel exhausted refereeing. I end up separating them because it gets to where I just can't stand repeating myself over and over to stop fighting. I'd like to think it gets better, but I remember vividly my childhood, and fighting constantly with my own brother all the way through school,sooo....yeah. Guess I get what I deserve, right? LOL.
Sounds about right with my 5 year old aswell. For what you've described, I'd drag them out of swimming lessons (kicking and screaming if needs be). I warn do.x and we'll leave and if he does we do. Took a few goes but now he knows I'm serious he general toes the line
Make them clean up there own mess. Kids don't enjoy it, so will stop. Yet again it might take 3 weeks but they will eventually get bored.
Also my son was awful at using his manners. Now he doesnt get reminded. If he say can I have a drink I will continue to sit untill he says can I have a drink please.
In a way it's good to know I'm not alone. It all makes me feel quite down and I'm not sure if that's just 3 children, (dd is a proper toddler now not a baby), or whether it's me and I have a bit of depression or something.
Unfortunately my two are a bit older (8 & 5) are they are similar. At home; constant bickering, arguing etc. All I get is "Joshua called me this, Jacob said this, but he did this first" on repeat...
At school / swimming, they are generally good. Jacob, we've had to have words (not doing his work, he has 'looking busy whilst not actually doing anything' down to a T!) at school but on whole not too bad. Joshua absolutely perfect outside of home!
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