Forum Rules

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old May 9th, 2017, 04:53 AM   1
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 2,069

Anyone with 5-10yr+ age gap?

Me and OH have been discussion #2. There are quite a few things that we would like to do before having another and ovbiously DD is already 4 so even if we started ttc right now ( not likely) there would be a 5 year gap.

some of the things we would like to do are a holiday abroad, for me to get a job, save up for a mortgage, a weekend or two away just me and DH as we havent ever had a holiday alone. i do worry that i wont want to go back to the baby stage though when DD will be so independant and grown up.

what are your experiences with larger age gaps, can it really work?

Status: Offline
Old May 9th, 2017, 07:29 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 2,466
My kids are 11 years apart (17 and 6) although not by choice.

It was a definitely starting over thing. My son was in middle school and we were past the baby things. But we were fine, we didn't forget how to manage a baby/toddler. The only real issue we had was dragging a baby along for all my son's events and rides to things.

They get along just fine. Although sometimes it's weird to have a child in kindergarten and one who's nearly done with high school.

Status: Offline
Old May 9th, 2017, 12:26 PM   3
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Surrey, UK
Posts: 1,792
I have 6 years between ds1 and ds2. It actually worked out perfectly as ds1 was settled in school and quite self sufficient and I had one on one time with ds2 when ds2 was at school. They're now 11 and 5 and get on well although they do argue a bit now.

Status: Offline
Old May 10th, 2017, 00:29 AM   4
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: North East England
Posts: 9,864
We have a 7 year age gap.
Its been great on many levels. My eldest is besotted with her sister, they have a great bond and she is able to do some basic childcare and looking after the baby. My youngest has had a few issues and been in and out of hospital sometimes for stays of 5-10days. The older one has been able to understand and just get on with her life really. She is also old enough that in the very early days she could pretty much see to herself for everything, which worked out well as this baby was very high needs until we sorted out her medical issues.

On the down side, it is very very much like going back to the beginning, sometimes thats great but other times you forget how used you got to having our own life again. Ive found mummy friends harder this time around, the ones I have/had who had older children are in a different place to me and many a groups are on their first and Im not in the same place as them with having a 8 year old.

I think take some time if you want to travel and sort out your finances, its better than waiting another 10 years

Status: Offline
Old May 10th, 2017, 10:58 AM   5
Mum (Mom)
BnB Spammer Elite
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 20,422
There is almost 10 years between my 2 boys, 9 and 19, I have found it fine, my boys get along grand even though my eldest has a son of his own now :/ lol There was a few years where my eldest didnt even want my youngest to look at him but that was the teenage years and they are to be expected but apart from that it was grand. I loved going back to the baby stage and loved having a little one around again, plus I think you are so much more relaxed with a second one

Status: Offline
Old May 24th, 2017, 16:23 PM   6
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: NS, Canada
Posts: 1,491
my daughter will be five in november, we are going to TTC starting october. this is EXACTLY how i wanted it. because i think it will be more fun for her and she's way more independent and so it wont be as hard as two babies or a baby and a toddler.

my sister and i are 9 years apart and my mother really liked that.

Status: Offline
Old May 25th, 2017, 17:49 PM   7
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Bromley, London
Posts: 6,176
I'm really glad I read this thread. My son will be 8 at the end of this year and I've wanted another for years but havent met anyone to make babies with! So by the time I do, and we TTC etc he could be 10-12 easily. I've always been worried about a large gap but it's so reassuring to see how positive it's been for you all.

Status: Offline
Old May 27th, 2017, 03:53 AM   8
BabyandBump Team
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 33,754
There is 7 years between my youngest and the second youngest, it isn't how I planned but it worked out great. The only issue we've had is now that he's (almost) two, he wants to play with his older siblings all the time but obviously they don't want to all the time.

Boomerslady, my 13 year old son and my one year old have an amazing relationship. M is so patience with my little one.

Status: Offline