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Old Dec 7th, 2017, 11:43 AM   1
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5 year olds behaviour is making me Ill.

Hey all,

This may turn into a long post so I apologise.

The long and short of it, my 5 year old son is a bully. I hate having to write that, I hate what that is and it's stressing me to no end.

Today I have picked my son up from school and have been told that as soon as he walked into school, he grabbed a little girl by the throat hard enough to leave claw marks on her. This was approximately 1 minute after he walked happily into school and told a teacher he was going to have a good day today.

It's this little girl that he keeps going for, he's punched her in the face on 3 seperate occasions and each time, it's unprovoked so I'm told. She is a meek little think bless her who wouldn't say boo to a ghost and I feel so so terrible that this is happening.

I contacted his health visitor that has done the ages and stages review twice now and there's no markers on there so he's been discharge from there recently, his school have him on a behaviour monitor but this still keeps happening.

I'm going to make an appointment with the school tommorrow to talk about this but I'm just beside myself right now. I don't know what else I can do. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, the stress is making me ill, I have ulcerative colitis which is going mad at me currently but most of all I just feel terrible for this poor little girl.

I'm under no illusions that my son, is a bully and I hate it. He's such a sweet, loving thing normally but he just does these horrid things that he offers no explanation for just "I don't know"

I'm so lost and I don't know what else to do. He's been shouted at, had his belongings taken away, educated, isolated etc. He just got put to bed after what has transpired today as I'm out of options, and he's deliberately booted me in my bump. 😭😭

Is there any suggestions you ladies and gents can make? It's getting me down and I want this sorting out now before the new baby comes.

At the very least, thank you for reading this great big tome of a read.

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Old Dec 8th, 2017, 08:28 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
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No experience, but I wonder if he's acting out because you're having a baby soon?

It sounds a bit like he's feeling insecure, and maybe hurting the little girl is his way of gaining back some control? I think you should be consistent with punishment. You say you've tried all sorts of things, but maybe stick to one thing so as not to confuse him?

Kids grow mentally at different rates and he sounds quite 'young' for his age, maybe you could try to get him to verbalise his feelings? Like, prompt him - 'are you worried you won't be loved enough when the baby comes?' Etc

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Old Dec 8th, 2017, 12:42 PM   3
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I think to get to the bottom of it, you need some idea of why he's doing it so that you can address the underlying root of things. I'd also work with the school to come up with a discipline strategy that creates continuity across settings and doesn't result in double punishment as might happen if he is disciplined both at school and at home without communication between home and school.

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Old Dec 9th, 2017, 13:12 PM   4
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Definitely speak to your sons school. I’ve been having issues with my 6 year old and school have been amazing at supporting me and her and allowing us to find out the root cause and begin to deal with that to help with everything else.

I sympathise completely with your situation, mine is similar but not completely the same and the stress is unbearable but speaking to school has given me an outlet and also given me an outsiders view. Hope you manage to get it sorted really soon.

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