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Old Jan 19th, 2010, 15:25 PM   31
Minstermind
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The comments like ''Wow, can't believe a 6 or 7 year old is wearing diapers'' is pretty understandable if you've never had a child with this problem or if you have and they responded successfully to rewards or other methods (in other words, the problem wasn't one where they were sleeping too deeply to wake but other ''fixable'' reasons). I think I would feel the same if I hadn't experienced the situation with my son. But this is one of those situations in life where I've been shown that my opinion and attitude towards it wasn't necessarily correct and the solution is not always as straightforward as some people like to think.

I couldn't quote a percentage but I would say a high percentage of bedwetters would respond well to rewards, not wearing pull-ups, having them clean the bed themselves, encouragement, etc... and it is DEFINITELY a good thing to do whatever is possible to help the child solve this issue. But I just want to point out that it's not true of every bedwetting situation so it's best to go into it with an open mind.

If I were convinced that the issue with this bedwetting girl was not that she just wasn't waking up for it, and she responded well to other treatments (reward system or whatever), then I'd be inclined to simply not put the pull-ups on her and do my own thing with her when she was at my house. My house my rules kind of deal.

I suppose the problem is if your husband is not allowing this option to happen and wants her in pull-ups anyway. But it sounds from your last post that he is listening more to your thoughts and advice and going with your ideas, so maybe you can sort this one too.



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Old Jan 19th, 2010, 15:46 PM   32
Weeplin
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Aimee wears Huggies Pyjama pants at night and she is 6. I am not a lazy mother I just feel they are the best option for her. I wet the bed until I was about 10 or 11 and I am not ashamed to admit it because it was a condition. I was a heavy sleeper, I was bullied both at school and at home and my bladder just had not matured. It is called enuresis and if a parent suffered from it there is a 40% chance that the child will too. 70% if both parents suffered from it. One day it just stopped.

I feel Aimee has just simply inherited it from me and you cannot force a child to stop wetting the bed when her body has not matured enough to enable that. Her brain needs to build the connections that will wake her when she needs the loo.

By all means contact your GP or school nurse but I personally don't feel that getting angry about it will help. She may even feel pressure and you could hurt her self esteem if she see's you or anyone else getting angry about the situation or angry at her. Resulting in only making the situation worse. I know, it happened with me. My step father used to really bully me about it.

With Aimee my partner and I don't talk about our concerns infront of her. We limit her drinks when it gets late, she goes to the toilet before bed and is down immediately when she wakes up. We encourage her and make a big deal about it when it is dry to build confidence and we just say "oh well, maybe next time!" when it is wet but I only believe she will truly have dry nights when her body is ready.

Just my opinion..check out the Drynites site HERE for some really useful and truthful info.

Just my thoughts and doings in the end you cant change how some one thinks, but to come out and say that your step daughters mother is lazy for putting her in Drynites I feel is out of order and you have in essense just called every mother including myself lazy for that statement which just creates anger.It is just a difference of opinion but there is more facts in what I am saying than in what you are and you can find loads of articles online which prove my point.




 
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Old Jan 19th, 2010, 15:54 PM   33
marley2580
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you say that she had been dry in the past when she stayed with you and you left the nappies off? If this is the case then doesn't it mean that she is capable of being dry overnight? Personally, I would suggest having a chat with her and seeing how she feels about it.



 
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Old Jan 19th, 2010, 15:57 PM   34
Minstermind
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Great post Weeplin. I suppose that's what I caught onto in this thread...not even the specific situation with this 6 year old girl (as every child is different) but the overall implication I got from it towards bigger kids in general with this problem (it was the thread title that caught my eye really). I think I could have been guilty of having the same attitude towards it had I not experienced the situation with my son firsthand and I know better now, armed with a lot of personal experience and research on the matter. So I'm not directing my comments at the specific girl and situation in the original post so much as the tone of judgment towards a 6 year old (or any bigger kid) who has this problem.



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Old Jan 20th, 2010, 01:01 AM   35
cupcake
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I think you brought up an excellent point, assuming the child does not actually have a problem health wise I still stand by my advice, but if she does, and everyone is right you should make sure you have the facts then there is no point in pushing her and you would need to know more about it.



 
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Old Jan 20th, 2010, 20:05 PM   36
BabyL0Ve
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Originally Posted by bek74 View Post
Maybe you could do a reward chart at your house. Everytime she comes over and doesn't wear a pull up and is accident free put a gold star on her chart. Once she has 4 stars (2 visits) she gets a reward (cheap toy, Mc Donalds, ice cream cone) just something simple.
Let it be her choice, if she says " but my mum and nan put a pull up on me" you say ' I know sweetheart, and you can wear one if you want, but I just think your big girl now and you don't need to "

Unfortunatly other than that there isn't much you can do.

My 3 sons were fully toilet trained day and night by 2.5yrs of age.
Thank you I love the chart idea!!



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Old Jan 20th, 2010, 20:13 PM   37
BabyL0Ve
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minstermind View Post
The comments like ''Wow, can't believe a 6 or 7 year old is wearing diapers'' is pretty understandable if you've never had a child with this problem or if you have and they responded successfully to rewards or other methods (in other words, the problem wasn't one where they were sleeping too deeply to wake but other ''fixable'' reasons). I think I would feel the same if I hadn't experienced the situation with my son. But this is one of those situations in life where I've been shown that my opinion and attitude towards it wasn't necessarily correct and the solution is not always as straightforward as some people like to think.

I couldn't quote a percentage but I would say a high percentage of bedwetters would respond well to rewards, not wearing pull-ups, having them clean the bed themselves, encouragement, etc... and it is DEFINITELY a good thing to do whatever is possible to help the child solve this issue. But I just want to point out that it's not true of every bedwetting situation so it's best to go into it with an open mind.

If I were convinced that the issue with this bedwetting girl was not that she just wasn't waking up for it, and she responded well to other treatments (reward system or whatever), then I'd be inclined to simply not put the pull-ups on her and do my own thing with her when she was at my house. My house my rules kind of deal.

I suppose the problem is if your husband is not allowing this option to happen and wants her in pull-ups anyway. But it sounds from your last post that he is listening more to your thoughts and advice and going with your ideas, so maybe you can sort this one too.
Thank you for the time and the response! We will try the chart rewarding and hopefully that starts to motivate her and loose the pull ups soon I just know she can do it but if others aren't enforcing it, it's confusing her..



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Old Jan 20th, 2010, 20:18 PM   38
BabyL0Ve
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weeplin View Post
Aimee wears Huggies Pyjama pants at night and she is 6. I am not a lazy mother I just feel they are the best option for her. I wet the bed until I was about 10 or 11 and I am not ashamed to admit it because it was a condition. I was a heavy sleeper, I was bullied both at school and at home and my bladder just had not matured. It is called enuresis and if a parent suffered from it there is a 40% chance that the child will too. 70% if both parents suffered from it. One day it just stopped.

I feel Aimee has just simply inherited it from me and you cannot force a child to stop wetting the bed when her body has not matured enough to enable that. Her brain needs to build the connections that will wake her when she needs the loo.

By all means contact your GP or school nurse but I personally don't feel that getting angry about it will help. She may even feel pressure and you could hurt her self esteem if she see's you or anyone else getting angry about the situation or angry at her. Resulting in only making the situation worse. I know, it happened with me. My step father used to really bully me about it.

With Aimee my partner and I don't talk about our concerns infront of her. We limit her drinks when it gets late, she goes to the toilet before bed and is down immediately when she wakes up. We encourage her and make a big deal about it when it is dry to build confidence and we just say "oh well, maybe next time!" when it is wet but I only believe she will truly have dry nights when her body is ready.

Just my opinion..check out the Drynites site HERE for some really useful and truthful info.

Just my thoughts and doings in the end you cant change how some one thinks, but to come out and say that your step daughters mother is lazy for putting her in Drynites I feel is out of order and you have in essense just called every mother including myself lazy for that statement which just creates anger.It is just a difference of opinion but there is more facts in what I am saying than in what you are and you can find loads of articles online which prove my point.

Thanks for the response. We don't really talk infront of her about these things. And I am sorry but she really is lazy...her house is a mess, little one gets all kinds of allergies and they are sick all the time. Hair is never brushed etc easy things like...This is where the "lazy comment" is coming from



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Old Jan 23rd, 2010, 09:38 AM   39
Weeplin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyL0Ve View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weeplin View Post
Aimee wears Huggies Pyjama pants at night and she is 6. I am not a lazy mother I just feel they are the best option for her. I wet the bed until I was about 10 or 11 and I am not ashamed to admit it because it was a condition. I was a heavy sleeper, I was bullied both at school and at home and my bladder just had not matured. It is called enuresis and if a parent suffered from it there is a 40% chance that the child will too. 70% if both parents suffered from it. One day it just stopped.

I feel Aimee has just simply inherited it from me and you cannot force a child to stop wetting the bed when her body has not matured enough to enable that. Her brain needs to build the connections that will wake her when she needs the loo.

By all means contact your GP or school nurse but I personally don't feel that getting angry about it will help. She may even feel pressure and you could hurt her self esteem if she see's you or anyone else getting angry about the situation or angry at her. Resulting in only making the situation worse. I know, it happened with me. My step father used to really bully me about it.

With Aimee my partner and I don't talk about our concerns infront of her. We limit her drinks when it gets late, she goes to the toilet before bed and is down immediately when she wakes up. We encourage her and make a big deal about it when it is dry to build confidence and we just say "oh well, maybe next time!" when it is wet but I only believe she will truly have dry nights when her body is ready.

Just my opinion..check out the Drynites site HERE for some really useful and truthful info.

Just my thoughts and doings in the end you cant change how some one thinks, but to come out and say that your step daughters mother is lazy for putting her in Drynites I feel is out of order and you have in essense just called every mother including myself lazy for that statement which just creates anger.It is just a difference of opinion but there is more facts in what I am saying than in what you are and you can find loads of articles online which prove my point.

Thanks for the response. We don't really talk infront of her about these things. And I am sorry but she really is lazy...her house is a mess, little one gets all kinds of allergies and they are sick all the time. Hair is never brushed etc easy things like...This is where the "lazy comment" is coming from
Ahh right, well if she doesn't do all those things then yes. She is lazy, I see mothers like that at my daughters school who evidently don't even know what an iron is! lol. I thought you meant the only reason she was lazy was because she put the girl in PJ pants/nappies

I hope you get the issue sorted hon



 
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Old Jan 23rd, 2010, 10:21 AM   40
shaerichelle
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I had another thought. It could be an emotional issue. I am thinking that is what my sons issue is. So she could be dealing with it that way. Either way..its always good to start a rewards chart and see where she goes. Cause you never know



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