Hi!Today after my 12 yr old daughter left to school,I went to her room to fix her room and just make her bed. I discover her sheets were completely soak when I was smell them,it smell like pee.Then in her laundry basket,I found her pee stain panties and sheets from other nights,I figure she is been having this problem for a while.I really don't know how to approach this problem with her.I talked to my other two daughters who are 23 and 16,who said to be blunt and just confront her but I don't think I want do that.My husband said to be truthful and confront her too. The last thing I want have is fight with her,besides my older daughters I have 2 yr old twin girls and 1 yr old girl. How can I approach this problem?What can I do?

I don't like the word "confront". Sounds like they advise you to "accuse" her of something. My daughter has accidents, due to a medical condition (she had a tethered cord which damaged the nerves in her back, leading to her bladder). If there's one thing I learned during our long search for answers in my daughter's case, is that things like these ARE NOT in their control. They can't help it.

If this is a "new" thing for your daughter (not happening for years and years since pottytraining), then my guess would be that she's having a UTI (urinary tract infection), or that something is bothering her. Firstly, I'd approach her and talk to her. Tell her that sometimes these things happen, and she does not have to hide it from you. She must take care of it herself (like she's been doing), but allow you to help her. Then I'd take her to the doctor, to rule out a UTI or something similar. If that's clear, I'd try to delve deeper to see if you can get to the bottom of it.

If it continues, there's a few things you can try. One of it is medication, that controls bladder spasms. Sometimes, kids just need a few months of being on the meds, to get over these types of problems. Worst case scenario, is like in my daughter's case....a tethered cord or something influencing the nerves. This is extremely rare though.

Good luck!

Thank you so much!I know it's been while since I was her age but I know that age is confusing,the last thing I want to do is to embarrass her. I'm thinking when she comes from school today having a talk with her,just me and her.I'm hoping I can find out how long has she been wetting her bed at night and does she have accidents during day?I just want let her know she can come to me if she has any other problem.I warn her older sisters already not to pick or make fun of her. Can it be undeveloped bladder?I hope it's UTI and something that will go away quickly.I bought already plastic sheet for her bed.Should I buy her underjams or good nites for her?I really don't want her to ruin her underwear.

I had the same kind of questions that you has. I found that by asking them directly to my daughter, I got the best answers! Even at 7, my daughter was able to tell me when she wanted to try a new product (drynites, etc.) or when rather not. So ask your daughter! It's actually less embarressing (accordingly to my research) to wear something protective, than having to wake up all wet.

Yes, it definitely can be an underdeveloped bladder. That's what they kept on telling me is the problem with my daughter! They called it a "developmental problem". They thought she just needed time to outgrow the problem. Unfortunately, I knew something more was up with my daughter, because she regularly stumbled over her own feet. I did some research and came across tethered cord, which explained all her symptoms...bladder, bowels and feet.

Good luck with the talk with your daughter! I hope it went well.

i think you should talk to her but should notice the method how to tell her not pee on bed or pants...its not a big deal..just face it and good luck

Just make your kid a habit of going to bathroom before he/she goes to bed