I first thought that prehaps she had lied about her phone as she was worried to tell you thinking she was going to get into trouble. But as for the violin lessons that is worrying where did she go instead of the lesson? and did she hand the money in for the lessons or has she used it for something else... just a thought did you see her with the phone while you was away? Don't want to jump to bad conclusions but with starting a new school prehaps she could have come across a "mean" child hence the "lost" phone.
I think she would have been worried about telling you she lost it? I know when my sister whos 13 lost hers she was dreding telling my mum but she wasnt bothered because she had been up front? Maybe explain to her you'd like her to tell you so you can sort things rather than lying?
I've found that if my daughter opens her mouth its usually lies. I've now learnt to read between the lines ... My oh is an excellent lie detector that not only know the lie but exactly wot the truth is too ... Which is good cos i'm so easily lied too and takes me detective work to figure it out.
I've just had to be much more vigilant and so far its working.
Our kid is almost TOO honest with us... LOL... sometimes I wish she didn't tell us so much. BUT, there have been a couple times she lied (usually due to pressure from her Mom while she is in her care- which is only 2 weekends a month)-- and when she broke down and told us the truth we just made it VERY clear that trust is something you earn. That we won't be AS mad with her if she just tells us the truth from the get go- but if she lies, then we are less likely to trust her and won't let her do as many things.
Not sure that would help your kid... but maybe sit her down and have a good talk. Make sure she understand that you want to trust her and believe what she tells you- but that she needs to earn back that trust. That if she is caught lying again, there will be punishment for her actions (maybe decide before hand what that will be and let her know so she is fully aware).
We have our kids cell phone with parental controls- so usually her punishment would be putting her phone on lock down- so she can ONLY call family, no friends. Or making it so she can no longer text... as that is there "lifeline" at this age (our kid is 14), lol, it usually does the trick. Then she has to earn back her privileges.
Might just be a stage- but not one I would take lightly. All kids lie from time to time... I'm sure I did as a child, but I also knew it was much worse punishment when I lied than when I just came clean.
I have a niece that is very close to me, and she turns 13 on the 5th of October, in high school this year. She lies a bit, yes. She lies to get out of trouble. I guess I would try to sit down with her, and just get to the bottom of WHY she is lying. Other than that..I have no advice, as we are in unchartered territory too!!!
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