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Old Mar 21st, 2016, 13:45 PM   1
Jaxons Mummy
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Scared of giving birth


Can any ladies who already been through child birth help me by putting my mind at rest.. Im absolutly crapping myself about giving birth, all that keeps running through my head is i wont be able to do it & end up putting strain on my baby & maybe end up with complocations

HELP please



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Old Mar 22nd, 2016, 04:53 AM   2
Misscalais
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Deep breaths
Ive had 3 natural births, they were all different.
I honestly believe that fear makes the pain worse, i lost the plot for a bit during my 1st labour and took a bit to get my mind back in the game, same as my 3rd.
Definitely look into breathing techniques, research what time of pain relief you might like to try. Ive done all 3 with just gas and air but im definitely willing to try the next step this time if i need it.
I found being in the shower helped a lot as well.



 
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Old Mar 23rd, 2016, 17:04 PM   3
Spudtastic
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I wrote a very similar post before having dd2 but I ended up having an amazing birth with dd2.

The things that helped me was....I was prepared to have an epidural if I needed it (this was good for my mindset. You may have your own views that help you personally)
I had a water birth which helped the pain.
I learned some hypnobirthing techniques to help me through contractions. (I read hypnobirthing the mongan method).
I was in the hospital so if I needed medical help it was right there so reassurance reduced the fear and helped me relax.
If there are complications the medical staff are there to help.
I had a Water birth on gas and air only. (Dd1 I had an epidural)

I talked to my midwife about my fear and I mentioned that I had been reading some bad birth stories. My midwife who was very experienced said I should be reading the home birthing stories because it's all in the head. Knowing you can do it helps the process.

Hope this helps :-)



 
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Old Mar 23rd, 2016, 18:10 PM   4
MyFavSurprise
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I agree, don't look at the bad stuff because it's all a state of mind. I will be honest, with my 1st I had no support and I was in an incredible amount of pain by the time I was at 4cm (while my boyfriend at the time sat there telling me "see i told you you couldnt do it"), but once I got the epidural I felt wonderful and everything was great. The labor I just went through, I made it to 7cm with the help of my husband by breathing through the contractions and he rubbed my lower back. I tried all different positions and just went with what worked. I was even joking with my husband and the nurse between contractions. I tried gas and air but felt that it stressed me out. Pushing was the hardest for me, I went into this amazing state of mind and closed my eyes and focused on my baby.. Again, I wont lie, it does hurt, but it was so incredible and I will do it that way again next time, the experience was so amazing, and after the baby is born you immediately have no more pain aside from some cramping while passing the placenta and breastfeeding as your uterus returns to normal.

Don't second guess yourself, you've got this. Watch some home birth videos. For me in the last couple of weeks, a second strength kicks in and I stop caring how the baby is going to get out, so long as it happens asap haha..hopefully you will experience that as well



 
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Old Mar 26th, 2016, 06:37 AM   5
NDH
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I honestly *love* giving birth and I can't wait to have a chance to do it again (even though my baby is only 11 days old lol)

I see it as such a raw, primal, powerful experience. My first two were drug-free hospital births and my third was a homebirth.

Having good support is key - I would highly recommend a doula, and finding a care provider who you mesh well with who is truly supportive of the type of birth you want to have (ie if you want a natural, drug free birth you would want to make sure you have a dr/mw whose stats reflect that they support that, and not a Dr with a 30% cesarean rate for example) Discuss what type of birth you want early so you don't have any sudden surprises at the end when most people seem to do it, and no longer have time to establish a raport with a more suitable provider.

Independent childbirth classes can be really helpful (meaning not associated with the hospital) Hypnobirthing or calmbirthing or Bradley method etc

Watching birth videos (specifically homebirth/waterbirth/hypnobirth videos) on youtube or vimeo is my favourite way of preparing for birth. Watching them always gets the oxytocin flowing for one, and elevated oxytocin in pregnancy actually leads to better oxytocin production in labour which keeps things running smoothly. But also they are inspiring, and will give you the positive message that if they can do it you can too.

Reading up on what Dr Michel Odent has to say about the labour cocktail of hormones and really understanding the basic mechanics of birth I found really helpful. Knowing how hormones affect labour can help you to control them and stay out of the fear/pain cycle that produces adrenaline and inhibits oxytocin.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2016, 20:24 PM   6
kerrymom
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There really is no way to prepare for what your birth will be like, but just know that your body was made for this, and when it's all over you won't remember the bad parts as much! I remember telling my husband during my first that I was never going to do it again! Now I remember my births as wonderful experiences and am looking forward to my third.
Have you thought about hiring a doula? From what I've read they are the one thing that you can count on to make your labor and delivery easier. Their sole purpose is to be there for you! They explain everything to you that the doctors are suggesting so it is understandable and you can make better decisions. They help you with relaxation and pain relief.
It sounds like a doula would be a huge asset for you. You could take classes with the dad, and they are worthwhile, but in my case my husband and I both forgot it all once labor got rough! Good luck mama!



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Old Mar 30th, 2016, 14:19 PM   7
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Yes it is scary, and it hurts, but I promise you - you will handle it!

If we weren't designed to give birth, then there wouldn't be a human race. Your body knows what to do. And so will you.

I was absolutely shitting myself as the prospect of my labour drew nearer. I went overdue, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to even go into labour naturally let alone actually give birth.

At 40+5, finally things started. It was a long labour and my little blighter decided to turn around so she was in a crappy position. For ages I was just floating around in the pool literally falling asleep between contractions and then concentrating on something way beyond myself and my body when a contraction hit.

It was the most bizarre, dream-like feeling, and I hadn't planned or prepared for it. I think some primitive drive that had lain dormant all these years woke up that night, and my body just took over. It was incredibly intense.

In the end I did need some intervention in the form of drug-induced contractions as my daughter just wasn't turning around, and they started to talk about a possible c-section. I was way too tired to deal with stronger contractions so I took an epidural too and it was absolutely wonderful. It made me feel both relieved and energised.

She turned, and with my fresh burst of energy, I pushed my child out within an hour. That bit was fantastic - KNOWING she was coming a bit closer every time.

She was beautiful. And I would do it all again. Though it was pretty ghastly at points, I look back on it with great fondness and a lot of nostalgic feelings.

EVERYONE worries about something going wrong, but in reality, the vast majority of births go smoothly. Your baby is coming, whether you are scared or not! Have faith that it will go well and trust that you will be in good hands.

I hope it will be the best experience of your life so far.



 
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Old Apr 3rd, 2016, 10:12 AM   8
BabyBlondex
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You will be fine, you're stronger than you think 💜 I went into labour first time around being a cocky ass saying this can't be as bad as everyone makes out surely? And believe me as baby came closer I screamed a hell of a lot more I tensed I refused, I cried and I swore, it hurt more than it should I ended up tearing And even though it was only 9 hours it was the worst experience of my life. With my son I knew what to expect I went into it worried as I tore and that after pain is something else! But I got induced, contractions started, pain got closer and closer I smiled laughed with my midwives and took my gas and air with deep breaths omg I felt SO calm this time around and I honestly think it made it feel less painful and more manageable! 2hrs and 2mins later my boy was born and even though I tore again because I kept calm ididnt know it had happened! When I have my 3rd I know exactly what I'm going to do 💜 Be strong sweetie you can do this



 
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Old Apr 3rd, 2016, 14:13 PM   9
keepinitreal1
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Yes, nothing can prepare you in the literal sense because every labor is different. I must say that personally I had a very idealistic picture painted in my head and was surprised by the pain, but it can all be handled - as someone said, we are build to do it.

I got to 9 cm on g&a air then got 1/2 a dose of pethidin because 9-10 was taking forever. Got him out in 2 pushes. I was most scared that I would be too exhausted because I heard that it can take forever for the 1st baby, but it was 6 hours from 1st contraction to baby in my arms.

Remembering that each cx is bringing me a step forward to merting the little one helped me a lot. I imagined him coming down when it hurt the most and that relieved my tension a lot.

And have someone with you that you trust - my hubby played advocate hard when I was a bit loopy from pethidin and won the battle with the midwife when she wanted to do episiotomy. Having support is the key.

Good luck and don't worry - we're all naturals



 
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Old Jul 25th, 2016, 07:57 AM   10
Jennifurball
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyBlondex View Post
You will be fine, you're stronger than you think 💜 I went into labour first time around being a cocky ass saying this can't be as bad as everyone makes out surely? And believe me as baby came closer I screamed a hell of a lot more I tensed I refused, I cried and I swore, it hurt more than it should I ended up tearing And even though it was only 9 hours it was the worst experience of my life. With my son I knew what to expect I went into it worried as I tore and that after pain is something else! But I got induced, contractions started, pain got closer and closer I smiled laughed with my midwives and took my gas and air with deep breaths omg I felt SO calm this time around and I honestly think it made it feel less painful and more manageable! 2hrs and 2mins later my boy was born and even though I tore again because I kept calm ididnt know it had happened! When I have my 3rd I know exactly what I'm going to do 💜 Be strong sweetie you can do this
You sound JUST like me on my first labour, I was convinced it wasn't as bad as it looked on TV lol, I did most of my labour at home as it came on fast, I went into the hospital scared thinking it would get worse (I arrived at the pushing stage), so through that I was scared, refusing to do it, begging for pain relief, panicking, I felt drugged up even though I hadn't had anything, think the fear definitely made it worse for me.

Now I know it is going to hurt and I am prepared, but I will also know that feeling when baby is here and that pain instantly stops. Hope I can be as calm as you was!



 
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