Jillypoop I think you did just fine on the funny front there. Your husband rather took the brunt haha. Glad it went well. xxx

For me, the most embarrassing part was at 9cm and pushing....

Waters finally broke at 9cm, and it felt like a massive water balloon giving way.
Continued pushing only to feel what seemed like a mini water balloon gushing. Turned out that was baby going over my bladder, which emptied itself on the table.

Loved these stories!!! :-)

With DS1 I was induced due to PROM and I'd been in hospital ages before they found room for me so I was tired lol.

At the end I'm pushing and the midwife goes 'wow that's a lot of hair'.

Cue me apologising and saying I was too big myself but hubby had tried to neaten me up before we came in.

Hubby pointed out obviously she meant the babies hair......as the midwife rolled on the floor laughing *blush*

I had a dose of Stadol a few hours before I had my epidural and boy, does Stadol make me loopy! I kept telling my husband and sister, who where in the room with me, that I had forgotten to breath, and could they please perform CPR on me.

Love this thread! Thank you all!

this one gave me a snigger

Just remembered another one (5months on )

I was pushing for the second time & in between contractions I was just closing my eyes & laying very still. & I remember hearing the midwife ask my mom if I had fallen asleep lol. I remember thinking that I should open my eyes so they knew I was okay.

Another one, I dunno what the hell was going on, but sometimes I would get a contaction with no urge to push (again, during the second pushing stage) & so I would just keep lying there & breath through it & I was convinced that someone would see a contract building on the moniter & shout at me for wasting it lol.

I was sooooooooo tired.

I also remember before going into labour telling myself I wasn't gonna be the woman screaming I can't do it. So I tricked myself & told everyone I didn't want to push anymore (for some reason, my mind though it was better to say that than say I can't do it)

I thought I was properly whineing to my mum that I was tired & I didn't want to push anymore. But apparently I was really calm & just kept saying it with no emotion.

Towards the end that was all I could think, that I didn't want to push anymore & I was too tired. But that was fighting against having come so far in my labour & not wanting some dr to waltz in & steal my glory lol.

I was in labor for over 14 hours but the last two were the fun ones. At 7-8 cm my doc broke my waters for me and I said I'd want something for he pain as I knew things would really intensify at that point. So they gave me a shot in my iv and I got loopy and couldn't open my eyes without them crossing. So at some point I started saying somethig about a wolf and a polar bear. I dunno what I said exactly. Then I told my hubby that I felt like an elephant. Again, not sure where that came from. He told the nurses at te station somethig about what I said and I could hear laughter. I asked "did you tell them I'm an elephant!?" he said no then disappeared again... More laughter.
Then a nurse comes to check me and and I start talking gibberish about how "everything should be organized into squares." in my slightly drugged up mind with painful contractions, it made perfect sense. As each contraction would hit (eyes still closed) I would imagine it building up and a row of squares would fill in and the darker each square was the stronger my contraction was.
Afterwards everything was pretty good but hubby,who is really into fishing, said when they pulled Barrett out and laid him on my chest, it reminders him of a bass jumping up out through a grass mat.

I have a couple of tales....

The first was when my waters went at home, OH came back from work and my mum called (she lives 45 mins away) to say she was coming. At that moment I felt massively light headed and a bit sick (I think it was the adrenalin) and she asked me whether I wanted a MacDonald's for my 'final meal'. I was like
"No, I feel too sick, so sick!!" and I put the phone down.
I put my head between my legs and I felt the sickness passing. Literally a min later my mum's phone beeped with a text; "2 big mac meals with diet coke please" LOL she couldn't believe it! I really enjoyed it by the way- my contractions were only mild then.

Then when I was pushing Chubs was posterior and I was on my back (dunno why, I just did as I was told, innit?) and I had been trying for like an hour. Then the midwife wanted me to put my legs right up to my chest, and I'd been trying to cover my 'dignity' the whole time, adamant that OH didn't see any of the 'action'.

Then the midwife asked; "is it ok if your partner holds your leg up?" and I was like "OK WHATEVER GET HER OUT!!" and he said
"Don't worry, I will have sex with you again"
And I was like "GOOD!!!!!!!"

LOL!!! My mum and the midwife didn't know where to look!!

He kept his word

I just remembered another funny thing happening. Barrett got the hiccups as he was coming out. I could feel it all and as he came further down, the more irritated I got but my hubby, the nurse and doctor were laughing. They could see my stomach jump with each one and his little head would jerk. I remember wanting To yell that it wasn't funny and to just shut up but I was concentrating on my contractions and pushing.
And when the Doc was trying to help me birth the placenta, I was thinking this feels so weird. But once it was out I exclaimed "omigod that feels so good." it was just a relief to have my whole body back to myse. Lol.