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Old Aug 15th, 2011, 13:20 PM   41
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Originally Posted by prgirl_cesca View Post
Originally Posted by NIfirsttimer View Post
onto the loo. while there, transition hit,
Why do we all seem to hit transition on the toilet?!?!
Because it is where our brains are conditioned to let go of control, and our bodies are conditioned to relax down below.

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Old Aug 15th, 2011, 15:00 PM   42
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Oh yes makes sense now!

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Old Aug 15th, 2011, 22:58 PM   43
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Oh my gosh I was laughing so hard at these I was crying! And I was laughing so uncontrollably that I was passing gas in front of my husband!

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Old Aug 16th, 2011, 06:17 AM   44
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I crapped myself so many times pushing in the pool that DH took over poop-a-scoop duties with the sieve because he felt sorry for the MW.

I think the best part of my labour story is that I was hosting a coffee morning for my NCT buddies that day and when they turned up I was bent half dressed over a birthing ball with DH strapping a TENS on to my back. I insisted they stay so had my group sat drinking tea and eating cake and watching me labour. Our NCT leader said she wants to hire me out in future for labour demonstrations.

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Old Aug 16th, 2011, 06:53 AM   45
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think I projectile shat on the doctors while pushing my brains out. Oh well, I'm sure it wasn't the first time that's happened to them, which I assume is the reason why they wear protective eye wear

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Old Aug 16th, 2011, 09:09 AM   46
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Brilliant! I've been chuckling away to these - just what I need to while away the pregnancy insomnia!! Nothing to add myself but will pop back in a few months time hopefully with my own funny story! Keep 'em coming!!

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Old Aug 16th, 2011, 10:29 AM   47
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I terrified my OH with my second daughter. I was in the throws of labour and we were tearing towards the hospital when I announced to my rather suprised husband that I 'apsalutely HAD to have a sausage and egg muffin meal from the Mcdonalds drive through. (Well I was hungry!) He was very hesitant but I was so demanding he reluctantly gave in looking slightly pale and panicky. I remember having a massive contraction whilst collecting our food and getting a bizarre look from the member of staff handing over the breakfast as I huffed and puffed through it. Needless to say, my OH who had also ordered, was far to worried to eat anything so I had his aswell between contractions!
Oh and he mentioned the poor midwife had to do plenty of 'sieving' too as I had a water birth and was leaving some floaters!!

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Old Aug 16th, 2011, 15:52 PM   48
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Gosh I've got quite a few but a sample are:

9cm dialated, baby's heartbeat had gone, consultant told me to start pushing to see if Molly would descend:

Me: I can't, something doesn't feel right, it hurts.
Hubby: Push through the pain!
MW: Give her the G&A

Me: Im dying, I can't do it.
MW: Do you want an epidural?
Me: No no, the G&A is fine, I CAN do it.
MW: Are you sure you don't want anything?
Me: No I can manage.

5 seconds later..

Me: Can I have a general anasthetic? I've had one before.

Me to MW: I may get a little out of control and lose it, so be stearn with me (whilst off my face I was saying this)
MW: Laughing her head off - It's fine, you'll be ok.
Me: Good because I want to scream... Cue lots of screaming

Which leads to the embarrassing confession of me screaming so loudly they actually stopped the 'new mum's' tour of the delivery suite at the time because they thought I may scare them. What we didn't know at the time was, the pain I was experiencing was because Molly was seriously stuck and they hadn't realised. The midwife on the labour ward the next day knew me as 'the girl in the pink room' Oh the shame

Oh and I asked for a cup of tea at 8cm

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Old Aug 16th, 2011, 17:37 PM   49
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well we were driving to hospital, about five minutes out and my wife starts screaming/ shouting at me through a large contraction.

Stupidly I asked 'are you ok, should i pull over ?'

As the contraction eased she shouted..

'you've trapped my finger in the f@@@ing window you w@@@er'

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Old Aug 16th, 2011, 21:27 PM   50
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Originally Posted by MrsVenn View Post

Oh and I asked for a cup of tea at 8cm
I should've sent my Father in Law over to your room then!

Well done on stopping the tour as well. Mine was less screaming and more "moooing" but I kept saying afterwards (whilst on gas for the stitches) "oh no, I probably scared all the others away. Did anyone stay to deliver this morning after hearing me?"

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embarrasing , funny , labour , stories

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