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Old Aug 16th, 2011, 22:07 PM   51
futurephotos
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Thank you everyone! I don't have any children yet - so no stories, but man these were fun to read!!



 
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Old Aug 17th, 2011, 05:01 AM   52
tinkerbelle93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amandad192 View Post
I had diarrhoea and my OH had to support me as I squat over a little cardboard sick thingy on a chair. It stunk really bad too.
Omg, couldn't they get you into a toilet or anything?! :/ xx



 
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Old Aug 17th, 2011, 10:43 AM   53
nervousnell
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I am actually sat on the sofa crying with laughter!! I felt really rubbish today so was looking for something to cheer me up - this has definitely worked!! Thanks ladies!!



 
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Old Aug 17th, 2011, 14:57 PM   54
MrsVenn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amerikiwi View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsVenn View Post

Oh and I asked for a cup of tea at 8cm
I should've sent my Father in Law over to your room then!

Well done on stopping the tour as well. Mine was less screaming and more "moooing" but I kept saying afterwards (whilst on gas for the stitches) "oh no, I probably scared all the others away. Did anyone stay to deliver this morning after hearing me?"

send him my way next time

Yeah I was quite proud of that



 
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Old Aug 18th, 2011, 14:39 PM   55
Lawhra
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Oh my these are so funny! Thanks for sharing everyone

A few moments from mine:

I was in hospital for 2 nights due to PROM and OH had to be called at 2:20am to come in as baby was coming. On arrival he is told which room I was in, walked in and was immediately glared at by a couple whose baby had just been born. He was very embarrassed and not happy to be told the wrong room!

Between contractions I kept talking about One Born Every Minute and how I now understood the women on there, for some reason this embarrassed OH. I told him the baby was coming because I felt the baby near my bum which felt like I needed to poo. I was asked if I needed to push, said no, then pushed! (they had to push his head in and tell me stop pushing as they weren't ready for me!)

I yelled "the burning ring of f*****g fire!" whilst crowning and kept apologising for swearing. I also yelled "fuuuuuuuuuu*k"

After the birth when being cleaned up I couldn't figure out how to open the pack of maternity pads saying "I've never had these before and don't know how to open them" The midwife just took them off me and tore them open.

I thought the student midwife was a comedienne I'd seen on telly and told her I recognised her.



 
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Old Aug 20th, 2011, 13:45 PM   56
hawalkden
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2RockinBoys View Post
Midwife-"You need to push
Me-"I cant"
Midwife-"Why not?"
Me-"I cant stop thinking about johnny depp"
Partner-"Oh thanks, that makes me feel really good about myself"
(And i wasn't thinking about johnny depp, so i really dont know why i said that!)
This really made me giggle hope the G&A works for me like that haha



 
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Old Aug 20th, 2011, 16:02 PM   57
meow951
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Don't know if these are funny but i found them funny

As soon as i went into labour i got really bad diahorrea and i was having contractions every few minutes. I couldn't sit down because it was too painful so i had to hover over the toilet and keep bobbing up and down, trying to make sure i pooped in the toilet.

I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes right from the start and couldn't sit down so the drive to the birthing centre was exteremly uncomfortable. I asked DH for a kitkat and when he tried to hand it to me i said "why are you giving me a kitkat? Do i look like i want a kitkat? Get it away from me NOW!"

When i started pushing my waters broke but LO was too low down for all of it to come out and he'd also done a poo inside me. I was on all fours and both midwifes we leaning over behind me, looking at my bits. When LO came out, which was very quickly and with a lot of force, all the green gunky water and poo fired out and went all over the equipment trolley. The midwifes only just got their heads out of the way in time!



 
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Old Aug 21st, 2011, 09:52 AM   58
sequeena
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I....

Called the midwives cnuts and then could not stop saying sorry
Made my OH take a photo of my son crowning - why?!
Spaced out way too much on gas and air and kept thinking I was someone else



 
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Old Aug 21st, 2011, 11:13 AM   59
SabrinaB
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these stories were so funny, made me a tad bit nervous for labour though!



 
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Old Aug 21st, 2011, 12:06 PM   60
Jennifaerie
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Loved these stories!



 
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