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Old Sep 14th, 2017, 08:11 AM   801
annio84
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I love this! I don't think anything funny happened during my labour but afterwards I needed stitches. They gave me the gas and air to use while the anaesthetic was put in. Some time later, I have no idea how long, the midwife looked up at me and was like, 'are you ok'. I had continued to use the gas and air, completely forgotten about her and in my surprise just burst out laughing at her. I carried on with the gas and air though. Love that stuff.



 
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Old Sep 14th, 2017, 09:30 AM   802
Sarahcake
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These stories are just the best. This thread deserves to be bumped to the top of the feed 😂



 
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Old Sep 15th, 2017, 04:19 AM   803
WackyMumof2
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My first I had HORRIBLE back labour that not even 3 epidurals (last one was a double dose) touched the sides of and I was telling the midwife I couldn't wait to do it again with our next baby - I was dead serious. She thought I was mad and I hadn't even delivered my first one at the point I'd made that comment! Needless to say, I ended up with an emergency section. I'd been awake 72 hours by this point and hadn't had a shower. They had to give me a spinal because the epidural hadn't worked. I remember them doing the ice but don't remember them getting past my hip. Apparently I fell asleep and they figured it was a good a time as any to open me up. If it didn't work they were soon going to know it. Anyhow, they woke me up just as they pulled him out and I yelled at the midwife 'if that kid is a f**ken redhead you can shove him back'. Given my English ancestry and the fact hubby is part Scottish, it was a real possibility. Fortunately for my son, he did NOT inherit my red hair.

Second labour was painful but I gave up at the 4 hour mark (I had a 4.5 hour labour in the end), rung my midwife and headed into hospital. We got there and she came back with a gown and my waters had broken all over the floor. She checked me out and told me I was too far gone to which I told her 'I don't give a f**k I want my drugs'. Never got them and in the end, didn't need them. FIL took me over that day and he's usually a laugh a minute so he decided to 'lighten the mood' mid contraction and told me if I jump up and down it would 'feel better'. He got a filthy look and told to f**k off from me and came back half an hour later with black jellybeans and yoghurt raisins and all was forgiven.

I also remember him going into Pak n Save looking for the bags of just black jellybeans and they were out of stock so he tipped out the bulk bins and picked them out one by one until he filled a bag. He got a LOT of strange looks and he told people that 'my daughter has just delivered my grandson and she only likes the black ones'. Boy did that sound racist and he realized that AFTER he said it! My FIL is part Maori but he's so damn white you wouldn't know to look at him!

DS3 I took my best mate to my appointment because hubby wasn't too fazed by this point. Got called in, met my midwife and introduced myself and my friend. But the friend I said 'this is my wife. The sperm donor is at home'. She was gobsmacked and couldn't say much other than 'that's okay we have all kinds of families'. Best mate decided to clear up the misunderstanding much to my annoyance. The midwife's reaction up until that point was priceless!

See, my biggest problem is that I suffer from a shocking case of 'Foot and Mouth Disease'. I have no filter. If I have something to say, I say it. Most of the time it's worth the reaction but it can (and it does) get me into a lot of trouble at times too. Fortunately for me, none of these situations got me any more than laughs.



 
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Old Sep 15th, 2017, 05:03 AM   804
Bevziibubble
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Love reading these!



 
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Old Sep 15th, 2017, 05:06 AM   805
WackyMumof2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bevziibubble View Post
Love reading these!
I'm looking forward to my 4th labour and the random shit I come out with!



 
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Old Sep 15th, 2017, 05:10 AM   806
Sarahcake
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I just remembered one from my son's labour.

I kept telling the aneathatist who was putting in my (failed) epidural to "shut the fuck up, I'm trying to hear what that clock has to say to me"

I was huffing entenox like there was no tommorrow and all I was interested in hearing was the clock on the wall ticking and not the anesthetist trying to tell me to stay still 😂

Section this time around, probably for the best as I get a little mouthy when I'm in pain 😂



 
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