Question for ladies who have had a C Section

hellywelly · Dec 22nd, 2011, 02:30 AM

Hi ladies, thanks for 'popping in'!

Basically I had harry by emergency c section. Everything is fine - but sometimes I feel like i have 'unfinished business' - do you feel the same? Not sure if it is because I had the contractions etc and 'almost' got to the point of delivery or whether it is just my hormones.

It is hard to explain - but lets say - I feel a bit cheated as I really wanted to experience child birth xx

chuck · Dec 22nd, 2011, 03:04 AM

What you are saying is 100% normal, I felt guilty and cheated out of birth and still so to some extent 2 years down the line.

Sometimes it isnt enough to have a healthy baby and to have survived what could have been a dangerous situation...sometimes the journey is as important as the destination.

I have since had a great VBAC...no it hasn't 'healed' my EMCS but I do feel the EMCS is less of an influencing actor on my everyday life now.

Time will fade some of the rawness of the feelings you have now, but it does take a while.

Find people to talk to about it who wont just fob you off with you have a healthy baby you should be happy.

ICAN (international CS awareness network) are a wonderful support network

kcbmama · Dec 24th, 2011, 04:31 AM

Totally 2nd Chuck, though I didn't have the VBAC I wanted, I did however get the otherside view of a c-section via it being a planned one this time.

Much more chilled out, I kinda felt like there wasn't enough people in the room this time as there seemed to be loads with my emercs!

I still hold unto my own issues re my 1st CS but otherwise I feel a lot better, I got to do things I couldn't or didn't do with my 1st DD like that first initial feed, remembering that 1st cuddle & generally feeling more in control this time.

I still hold out for the VBAC, though it will be a VBA2C next time and I will probably have a bit of a time convincing Drs and DH, I would love to know what it's like to push my baby into the world, but after all that, the most important outcome would be a healthy baby and a relieved mama x

NickyNack · Dec 24th, 2011, 10:25 AM

I've had all kinds of births so far, induction, emergency c section, planned c section....all except pushing baby out.... And I feel cheated for sure!!

Hoping this one will get me the full set

tannembaum · Dec 25th, 2011, 13:31 PM

Chuck put it perfectly!

kelownaprego · Jan 3rd, 2012, 01:57 AM

I had the same experience, induction lasted 24hrs, pushed for two, and finally semi emerg. csection because he wouldn't come down. I had the same feelings when we finally made the decision to go with the doctors advice, I felt like a failure, I felt cheated and I felt like I was missing out on the satisfaction of pushing my baby into the world after almost 48hrs of exhaustion (water breaking prior to induction, no sleep/food etc) but honestly, the minute I saw him, all those feelings went away. none of it mattered, and now I look forward to the hastle free event that will be my next birth! Mark it on the callendar and away we go! I can't wait!

SLCMommy · Jan 3rd, 2012, 04:02 AM

I feel cheated too. Had to have 3 c-sections :/ .... My last baby was 3 years old and I still feel that way!

chezziepie · Jan 3rd, 2012, 04:24 AM

i loved my planned c section and after reading the birth stories so glad i didn't have to give birth

Maxinelou8 · Jan 3rd, 2012, 16:46 PM

I feel like a failure- questioning why my cervix is unfavourable etc, my first was semi planned at 41 weeks after failed induction at 39 weeks and another failed induction at 40+3 and this time round another planned section on the 10th!! because possible large baby, GD, possible rupture to previous scar and history of failed induction previously

patch2006uk · Jan 7th, 2012, 16:22 PM

I was never even in labour with my LO, and I feel like I missed out on a massive part of becoming a mother. Nothing can give me that experience back, but I hope beyond hope that I'll at least labour with any future pregnancies, and ideally manage a VBAC. My body just didn't go into labour, and no-one can explain why

Dec 22nd, 2011, 02:30 AM	#1
hellywelly Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Essex Posts: 2,076	Question for ladies who have had a C Section Hi ladies, thanks for 'popping in'! Basically I had harry by emergency c section. Everything is fine - but sometimes I feel like i have 'unfinished business' - do you feel the same? Not sure if it is because I had the contractions etc and 'almost' got to the point of delivery or whether it is just my hormones. It is hard to explain - but lets say - I feel a bit cheated as I really wanted to experience child birth xx

Status: Offline

Dec 22nd, 2011, 03:04 AM	#2
chuck Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2009 Location: Kent Posts: 7,691	What you are saying is 100% normal, I felt guilty and cheated out of birth and still so to some extent 2 years down the line. Sometimes it isnt enough to have a healthy baby and to have survived what could have been a dangerous situation...sometimes the journey is as important as the destination. I have since had a great VBAC...no it hasn't 'healed' my EMCS but I do feel the EMCS is less of an influencing actor on my everyday life now. Time will fade some of the rawness of the feelings you have now, but it does take a while. Find people to talk to about it who wont just fob you off with you have a healthy baby you should be happy. ICAN (international CS awareness network) are a wonderful support network

Status: Offline

Dec 24th, 2011, 04:31 AM	#3
kcbmama Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Tyne & Wear Posts: 262	Totally 2nd Chuck, though I didn't have the VBAC I wanted, I did however get the otherside view of a c-section via it being a planned one this time. Much more chilled out, I kinda felt like there wasn't enough people in the room this time as there seemed to be loads with my emercs! I still hold unto my own issues re my 1st CS but otherwise I feel a lot better, I got to do things I couldn't or didn't do with my 1st DD like that first initial feed, remembering that 1st cuddle & generally feeling more in control this time. I still hold out for the VBAC, though it will be a VBA2C next time and I will probably have a bit of a time convincing Drs and DH, I would love to know what it's like to push my baby into the world, but after all that, the most important outcome would be a healthy baby and a relieved mama x

Status: Offline

Dec 24th, 2011, 10:25 AM	#4
NickyNack Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: East of Scotland Posts: 2,112	I've had all kinds of births so far, induction, emergency c section, planned c section....all except pushing baby out.... And I feel cheated for sure!! Hoping this one will get me the full set

Status: Offline

Dec 25th, 2011, 13:31 PM	#5
tannembaum Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Bristol, UK Posts: 2,944	Chuck put it perfectly!

Status: Offline

Jan 3rd, 2012, 01:57 AM	#6
kelownaprego Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Kelowna, BC (canada) Posts: 299	I had the same experience, induction lasted 24hrs, pushed for two, and finally semi emerg. csection because he wouldn't come down. I had the same feelings when we finally made the decision to go with the doctors advice, I felt like a failure, I felt cheated and I felt like I was missing out on the satisfaction of pushing my baby into the world after almost 48hrs of exhaustion (water breaking prior to induction, no sleep/food etc) but honestly, the minute I saw him, all those feelings went away. none of it mattered, and now I look forward to the hastle free event that will be my next birth! Mark it on the callendar and away we go! I can't wait!

Status: Offline

Jan 3rd, 2012, 04:02 AM	#7
SLCMommy Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Utah, USA Posts: 1,716	I feel cheated too. Had to have 3 c-sections :/ .... My last baby was 3 years old and I still feel that way!

Status: Offline

Jan 3rd, 2012, 04:24 AM	#8
chezziepie Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Surrey Posts: 2,354	i loved my planned c section and after reading the birth stories so glad i didn't have to give birth

Status: Offline

Jan 3rd, 2012, 16:46 PM	#9
Maxinelou8 Pregnant (Expecting) New BnB member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 1	I feel like a failure- questioning why my cervix is unfavourable etc, my first was semi planned at 41 weeks after failed induction at 39 weeks and another failed induction at 40+3 and this time round another planned section on the 10th!! because possible large baby, GD, possible rupture to previous scar and history of failed induction previously

Status: Offline

Jan 7th, 2012, 16:22 PM	#10
patch2006uk Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: West Mids, UK Posts: 5,236	I was never even in labour with my LO, and I feel like I missed out on a massive part of becoming a mother. Nothing can give me that experience back, but I hope beyond hope that I'll at least labour with any future pregnancies, and ideally manage a VBAC. My body just didn't go into labour, and no-one can explain why

Status: Offline

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