Another thing would be - let people help. If people want to clean your house, look after the LO for a couple of hours while you get rest, cook you food or do some shopping say yes! no one expects you to be supermum you dont have anything to prove. Pay it forward when someone you love has a baby.
I would tell myself to trust my own body and make them listen to me - I knew everything wasn't right but people kept telling me what was happening was 'normal'. I was right, they were wrong, and if someone had listened to me to start with, it could all have turned out so different.
Also, while everyone tells you not to listen to horror stories, I disagree. I wish I had listened to more, the goriest ones I could find, then I might not have felt so cheated and like a total failure when it didn't turn out to be all kittens and rainbows like everyone had led me to believe. I wish I'd known just how bad it could get - then if it wasn't THAT bad it would have been a bonus. I'm a lot more prepared this time!
There's a reason why it's called labor. At the end of it all, forget the "what if I had done" or beating up yourself thinking you could've done better. At the end of labor is a beautiful LO, and you should focus more on that then on things that could've/would've/should've been better.
I was induced and we expected it to take 24 hours. My doctor told DH to get me my favorite meal the first night, and three hours later I was in full-on labor. I'll never forget the look on my doctor's face when she heard what I'd eaten. (Of course it all came back up rather dramatically during contractions.)
My "definitely on the list for next time" is my Hypnobabies course. I ended up with an epidural, but thanks to Hypnobabies, my breath control was awesome and pushing was a breeze and a beautiful, pleasant process.
Well, since starting this thread Ive had my little girl!!
If I could go back and tell myself 1 thing it would be keep a VERY open mind!!!
I was dead set on a hypnobirthing, natural home water birth. Then at 40 + 2 Daisy decided to poop inside the womb so I had to be induced and ended up with an epidural.
I can honestly say though that I was very well looked after in hospital and wouldnt change how it went at all.
My one piece of advice that I gave myself the second time around was to not have a plan. I can make all the birth plans I want but the baby has thier own birth plan which is most likely going to be very different than mine. Relax and enjoy the ride is really all you can do.
Although I had an elective section, I know for this time round that I'm "allowed" to be opinionated about how I'd like to give birth.
Throughout my first pregnancy, I was ignorant and didn't do any research a such, put my trust completely in the medical staff and didn't really think anything of it.
This time, I'm not being told that as an adult, I'm not "allowed" this or that - this is my pregnancy, my birth and my choice. I will take their professional advice and will make my own informed decision.
Although that doesn't mean I've got a birth plan and it has to go 100% that way because I know it won't but I'm not going to let myself be bullied into a certain labour/birth just because their "policy" says so.
Sorry it's long winded and not something I'd tell myself, but it is something I'm determined to do differently!
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