Hi ladies.. Really need a bit of - something - not sure what lol!

Basically to cut a very long story short, I had a terrible time with my first labour and birth, and this time around was going to do everything within my power to get an elective c section.. But the more I think about recovery time from a section the more I think perhaps trying for another vaginal delivery wouldn't be so bad.. But I really can't decide.. I read the facts, I'm all clued up on risks involved from both options, but I just can't decide WHAT to ask for..
The idea of ending up with an emergency section scares me.. But so does going through the sort of labour I had with DD.. I'd opt for elective section but am worried about recovery.. I really am confused.. Sorry this is very jumbled, like I said its more my thoughts being put into words with no logical order!

Any thoughts or advice very welcome xx

I, luckily, had an easy labor. So easy, in fact, that I'm scared to do it the second time around. I know our situations are reversed, but it comes down to this - no labor is the same. My next labor could be hard & traumatic, last for 3 days, hurt even more, etc, or it could be just as easy. And the same goes for you - you could have an easy labor this time around, or maybe it'll be hard again. There are no guarantees that the second labor is going to be as bad as the first.

Why was your first labor so hard? Maybe talk to your doctor or midwife, and see if there is anything that can be done to prevent that from happening again. For example, if it was too painful, perhaps consider an epidural. If you tore really badly, focus on doing more massages down there throughout your pregnancy.

Also - ask yourself, if you opt for an elective C-section, will you later on kick yourself for not trying to do it vaginally? Is that something you'll regret?

I'd be interested to hear what you went through the first time too.

For me, my ds was a very long labour, back to back that ended with me in theatre having an epidural and spinal while he was delivered by foreceps. I was in labour for about 43 hours. I narrowly avoided a section. I was very upset about it for a long time. When I found out I was pregnant this time I also considered pushing for an elective section as while I didn't really mind the same experience again, I would have hated to have gone through that and then ended up with a section anyway. My lovely midwife talked to me about it a lot but the main thing I took from her was her view that the majority of girls she'd seen who needed foreceps or ventouse the first time didn't need anything the second time around.

And, for me, she was totally right. I was in labour for about 7 hours, had gas and air for the last hour only and my dd popped out in 3 pushes. It was an amazing experience and I loved it. The recovery this time has been much easier too. I am so pleased that I went for a vaginal birth again.

xx

Thank you both very much for taking time to reply, really appreciate it. Basically with my daughter I was induced, I was given prostaglandin (I think) either twice or three times and was told I'd be 'a failed induction' and that they'd c section me in the morning.. This was after 3 days of trying to get me into labour. Turns out that night my contractions started and waters broke then contractions were coming thick and fast and really strongly, yet they weren't dilating my cervix - after about 10 hours I was still only just at 3cm. I eventually got to 5cm and then opted for an epidural as midwife suggested this would help because of how strong and close my contractions were. But epidural stopped me contracting altogether so I was given a pitocin drip - this picked contractions right up again but also sent baby's heartbeat into a downward plunge and she was not coping, so this had to be stopped. Then started, stop start stop start - all the way through the rest of labour.. Me begging for a c section as everyone was so concerned about baby's heart - but the theatres were in use - I kept getting told 'one more hour and you'll get a section' this never happened. I ended up with a full spinal block, legs in stirrups, delivery room pretty much turned into a theatre - I had a surgeon 'delivering' my daughter, loads of midwives, anaesthetists, 3 SCBU nurses ready with a mobile resuscitation trolley ready to whizz her off, and I was cut, had either ventouse or forceps used (I thought ventouse but husband said forceps) to deliver baby, who it turned out was blue as a smurf and had the cord tightly round her neck..

To sum up I have never felt less in control, more terrified or less listened to than I did then. I knew my baby wasn't coping - midwives and consultant agreed this point in front of hubby and me, yet there was nothing we could do to physically help or protect her. It was so traumatic and so distressing and I can't bare to go through that again. I know it might not be the same this time and I really don't want a c sec if I can help it - BUT I can't help but feel anxious and terrified of what if it is.. What if we weren't so lucky this time and baby doesn't somehow get through the traumatic birth experience? I just need to know someone at the time of labour/birth will listen to me and will get things done if they were needed..

Sorry it's an essay - have rambled again!!xx

Recovery from c-section really isn't that bad - I was pretty much pain-free after a fortnight and the only bad bit was not being allowed to drive for 6 weeks. The first few days were difficult as it was very painful and difficult to stand up or get out of bed, but after that it was fine.

I also had a horrible time first time round (as per sig, 86 hours in labour ending in EMCS for failure to progress - I wasn't allowed any pain relief and made to lie on my back and it was just awful) but have been reassured by the midwife that it's quite unlikely to happen again as it was a set of unfortunate circumstances that led to it being like that. Second babies are less likely to be back-to-back for a start, so I'm going to try for a VBAC.

I feel the same way as you do. Worried about healing from a section but terrified to have a repeat of my last delivery which resulted in a frank breech vag. delivery and 8 months in Neonatal Intensive Care United for lo.