im SO scared of giving birth!

mrsbailey8 · Mar 30th, 2012, 15:51 PM

Im 38+5 and im absolutely terrified of labor. I cant sleep, i keep having panic attacks, i have to force myself to eat...all because im so scared. I keep thinking im going to die during or shortly after giving birth. I keep reading horror stories of women dying after childbirth...i even am terrified of getting an epidural because i read a couple stories about women dying from them!

I have suffered from heart palpatations,heart flutters, and chest pain since my secomd trimester and was sent to a cardiologist where they did an ekg, chest xray, echo (ultrasound of the heart), and i wore a heart moniter for 24 hours and everything came back normal....but i still am scared that i will go into cardiac arrest or have a heart attack during labor or after....

I cry numerous times a day to my husband because im afraid im going to leave him a widow...and im just so scared...

Help?

Arisa · Mar 30th, 2012, 16:23 PM

have you spoken to your midwife or doctor about this? its a very real fear and can be quite debilitating too. I have a social worker as well as psychiatrist now for my fears and worries of birth. I am also seeing an OB about a C-section because my anxiety has been so bad over giving birth and this started in the first trimester so it does give me some relief to know that psychological reasons are now deemed valid to have a section but if a C-section scares you more than vaginal birth you are best to discuss all of your fears through with a sensitive midwife and your doctor who can refer you to a specialist to help you through it all.

mrsbailey8 · Mar 30th, 2012, 16:28 PM

Ive tried talking to my midwife...but she just said its normal to worry and told me that its extremely rare to die during childbirth....but it didnt help at all. I still feel just as scared! I was originally wanting a c section until i developed my fear of epidurals (because i read stories about women dying after them)...so now i feel like im stuck!

Staceysparkle · Mar 30th, 2012, 17:08 PM

Could you speak to your Dr hun or go see your midwife again and explain that yes it is normal to be scared but to the extent that can't sleep and are having panic attacks they should be taking more seriously. Try not to read any horror stories on the internet, every woman and every labour is different and your body is designed to do this. Have you thought about hypnotherapy? I know your due date is close but even one or two sessions could be helpful I haven't done it myself but I've heard that it can really help if you are very frightened of labour.

Jokerette · Mar 30th, 2012, 18:05 PM

I felt the same way.... I now have a 7 week old.

I'm not going to lie, the final few pushes during delivery were really hard. I even thought I couldn't do it, I thought I was so tired that there was no way I could push th baby out and I would pass out from exhaustion... But I did it, and so do countless women everyday ... And so will you.

Are you having your delivery at a hospital? If so then keep in mind that they deliver tons of babies everyday and they are prepared and experienced in every scenario. You will leave the hospital with your little baby and they will take good care of ou. It's the best place to be because they will monitor you and the baby and keep you safe.

You can do it!! Keep us posted when you have your baby!

Bats11 · Apr 1st, 2012, 20:42 PM

I wish you all the very best & you'll probably go on to have 3 or 4 more kids!

Being scared is a normal feeling & its ok to feel that, just know you can do it

Im scared and this is my third so your not alone & I to have experienced heart palpatations & Ive also worried about having a heart attack during labour, but I just dont let it take control of my thoughts, I find saying positive things to myself helps me & that Ive had two other children with no heart attack so that reasures me to.

Before you know it you'll be holding your little bundle of joy and you'll be saying how it was all worth it.

mrsbailey8 · Apr 2nd, 2012, 09:22 AM

Ive gotten a little bit better about it...but im still so scared of the pain and i DO NOT want an epidural...so im just praying i can do it without...

stardust599 · Apr 2nd, 2012, 16:05 PM

Hey sweetie

Being scared is normal but what you are experiencing is severe anxiety and that's not normal at all!

Try not to be frightened, this is what your body was made to do! Trust your instincts. I have a relaxation hypnosis mp3 track I use for anxiety I can email you? It's a bit mumbo jumbo but it teaches you to blow all your fear and anxiety into a big red balloon and then when it's all gone you let the balloon go, I use the technique for dentist appointments (a phobia of mine).

One idea could be a dose of diamorphine in early-ish labour as it relaxes you and reduces anxiety xx

MummyKK · Apr 2nd, 2012, 16:51 PM

Its totally normal to feel this way! Just remember that women are designed to give birth! We are that amazing! Concentrate on the end result! A beautiful little baby!

Vitibaby · Apr 3rd, 2012, 04:32 AM

SO sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Fear of pain and dying can be so debilitating.

All I can say is just try to trust your body instead of distrust it.

Billions of things have just gone right in the last nine months inside your body to get you to this point and to have your baby develop to where he is now. A perfect little wonder. It just grew inside your body.. an amazing miracle.
Trust your body will not let you down in this last important transitional phase to have your baby be born safely, and have his mum near safe & sound as well!

If you allow fear to take over, it will just make the whole birthing process more difficult and will send your hormones the wrong signals.
So trust your body and think about the accomplishment to address this fear head-on and just do it! We all believe you can!!!

Mar 30th, 2012, 15:51 PM	#1
mrsbailey8 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: US Posts: 578	im SO scared of giving birth! Im 38+5 and im absolutely terrified of labor. I cant sleep, i keep having panic attacks, i have to force myself to eat...all because im so scared. I keep thinking im going to die during or shortly after giving birth. I keep reading horror stories of women dying after childbirth...i even am terrified of getting an epidural because i read a couple stories about women dying from them! I have suffered from heart palpatations,heart flutters, and chest pain since my secomd trimester and was sent to a cardiologist where they did an ekg, chest xray, echo (ultrasound of the heart), and i wore a heart moniter for 24 hours and everything came back normal....but i still am scared that i will go into cardiac arrest or have a heart attack during labor or after.... I cry numerous times a day to my husband because im afraid im going to leave him a widow...and im just so scared... Help?

Status: Offline

Mar 30th, 2012, 16:23 PM	#2
Arisa Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Back in New Zealand Posts: 2,577	have you spoken to your midwife or doctor about this? its a very real fear and can be quite debilitating too. I have a social worker as well as psychiatrist now for my fears and worries of birth. I am also seeing an OB about a C-section because my anxiety has been so bad over giving birth and this started in the first trimester so it does give me some relief to know that psychological reasons are now deemed valid to have a section but if a C-section scares you more than vaginal birth you are best to discuss all of your fears through with a sensitive midwife and your doctor who can refer you to a specialist to help you through it all.

Status: Offline

Mar 30th, 2012, 16:28 PM	#3
mrsbailey8 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: US Posts: 578	Ive tried talking to my midwife...but she just said its normal to worry and told me that its extremely rare to die during childbirth....but it didnt help at all. I still feel just as scared! I was originally wanting a c section until i developed my fear of epidurals (because i read stories about women dying after them)...so now i feel like im stuck!

Status: Offline

Mar 30th, 2012, 17:08 PM	#4
Staceysparkle Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 685	Could you speak to your Dr hun or go see your midwife again and explain that yes it is normal to be scared but to the extent that can't sleep and are having panic attacks they should be taking more seriously. Try not to read any horror stories on the internet, every woman and every labour is different and your body is designed to do this. Have you thought about hypnotherapy? I know your due date is close but even one or two sessions could be helpful I haven't done it myself but I've heard that it can really help if you are very frightened of labour.

Status: Offline

Mar 30th, 2012, 18:05 PM	#5
Jokerette Waiting To Try (WTT) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Massachusetts, USA Posts: 2,247	I felt the same way.... I now have a 7 week old. I'm not going to lie, the final few pushes during delivery were really hard. I even thought I couldn't do it, I thought I was so tired that there was no way I could push th baby out and I would pass out from exhaustion... But I did it, and so do countless women everyday ... And so will you. Are you having your delivery at a hospital? If so then keep in mind that they deliver tons of babies everyday and they are prepared and experienced in every scenario. You will leave the hospital with your little baby and they will take good care of ou. It's the best place to be because they will monitor you and the baby and keep you safe. You can do it!! Keep us posted when you have your baby!

Status: Offline

Apr 1st, 2012, 20:42 PM	#6
Bats11 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 920	I wish you all the very best & you'll probably go on to have 3 or 4 more kids! Being scared is a normal feeling & its ok to feel that, just know you can do it Im scared and this is my third so your not alone & I to have experienced heart palpatations & Ive also worried about having a heart attack during labour, but I just dont let it take control of my thoughts, I find saying positive things to myself helps me & that Ive had two other children with no heart attack so that reasures me to. Before you know it you'll be holding your little bundle of joy and you'll be saying how it was all worth it.

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 09:22 AM	#7
mrsbailey8 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: US Posts: 578	Ive gotten a little bit better about it...but im still so scared of the pain and i DO NOT want an epidural...so im just praying i can do it without...

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 16:05 PM	#8
stardust599 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: UK Posts: 6,200	Hey sweetie Being scared is normal but what you are experiencing is severe anxiety and that's not normal at all! Try not to be frightened, this is what your body was made to do! Trust your instincts. I have a relaxation hypnosis mp3 track I use for anxiety I can email you? It's a bit mumbo jumbo but it teaches you to blow all your fear and anxiety into a big red balloon and then when it's all gone you let the balloon go, I use the technique for dentist appointments (a phobia of mine). One idea could be a dose of diamorphine in early-ish labour as it relaxes you and reduces anxiety xx

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 16:51 PM	#9
MummyKK Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Ireland Posts: 138	Its totally normal to feel this way! Just remember that women are designed to give birth! We are that amazing! Concentrate on the end result! A beautiful little baby!

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2012, 04:32 AM	#10
Vitibaby Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: originally Dutch, now Australian citizen, living in Fiji Islands Posts: 168	SO sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Fear of pain and dying can be so debilitating. All I can say is just try to trust your body instead of distrust it. Billions of things have just gone right in the last nine months inside your body to get you to this point and to have your baby develop to where he is now. A perfect little wonder. It just grew inside your body.. an amazing miracle. Trust your body will not let you down in this last important transitional phase to have your baby be born safely, and have his mum near safe & sound as well! If you allow fear to take over, it will just make the whole birthing process more difficult and will send your hormones the wrong signals. So trust your body and think about the accomplishment to address this fear head-on and just do it! We all believe you can!!!

Status: Offline

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