weak birthing partner!

megrenade · Mar 31st, 2012, 01:33 AM

I am REALLY hoping for a natural birth (but I'm going in with an open mind) - and my OH doesn't seem strong enough.. he's my birth partner.. and I'm afraid he's going to let me cave into getting an epidural if I beg and plead enough.. and I'm sure I will, almost everybody does.

how do I get him to understand that he needs to be strong for me?

cassarita · Mar 31st, 2012, 14:31 PM

Maybe I would make a deal like don't let you get an epidural unless you are seriously asking for it for 20 mins or something..

chuck · Mar 31st, 2012, 15:22 PM

Get a doula

Tacey · Apr 1st, 2012, 03:47 AM

I second the doula option! DH really struggled first time round, and felt like a spare part. It took him a long time to get over the birth, and it was a calm waterbirth! We've employed our doula as much for him as for me.

holly2234 · Apr 1st, 2012, 16:00 PM

Write a birth plan and give it to the doctor/midwife/nurses when you go in and let them know not to offer it unless you ask.

Miss_Quirky · Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:34 PM

Personally, I have a back-up birthing partner. This is also because OH might not be around when I go into labour since he is at collage all day, but my friend (who is going to school to be a midwife) knows my requests clearly and will be there in the first parts of labour unless I ask otherwise.

megrenade · Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:35 PM

well, I've already got a bunch of medical bills piling up.. so a doula is out of the question.

and I have nobody else except my OH and my mom.. and my mom lives 8 hours away

so if OH or my mom don't make it, I'll be doing it on my own for the most part..

Miss_Quirky · Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:42 PM

That's a rough situation...Then I would write out very clearly a simple birth plan, even if you are going in with an open mind. Give it to the nurses straight away (imo I'd even keep a copy in my hospital bag in case they misplace it), I'd imagine they would be considerate of your decisions.

Hope they can make it though!

megrenade · Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:43 PM

I have a birth plan all typed up, it just needs printed

Miss_Quirky · Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:54 PM

Gotta say, I love my hospital, they have you turn in a birth plan then put it into their computer system so no matter what department I am in the MW's can access it

Mar 31st, 2012, 01:33 AM	#1
megrenade Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Oregon, USA Posts: 4,395	weak birthing partner! I am REALLY hoping for a natural birth (but I'm going in with an open mind) - and my OH doesn't seem strong enough.. he's my birth partner.. and I'm afraid he's going to let me cave into getting an epidural if I beg and plead enough.. and I'm sure I will, almost everybody does. how do I get him to understand that he needs to be strong for me?

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Mar 31st, 2012, 14:31 PM	#2
cassarita Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: AB, Canada Posts: 1,063	Maybe I would make a deal like don't let you get an epidural unless you are seriously asking for it for 20 mins or something..

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Mar 31st, 2012, 15:22 PM	#3
chuck Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2009 Location: Kent Posts: 7,668	Get a doula

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Apr 1st, 2012, 03:47 AM	#4
Tacey Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2008 Location: Warwickshire Posts: 5,966	I second the doula option! DH really struggled first time round, and felt like a spare part. It took him a long time to get over the birth, and it was a calm waterbirth! We've employed our doula as much for him as for me.

Status: Offline

Apr 1st, 2012, 16:00 PM	#5
holly2234 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: New York Posts: 5,605	Write a birth plan and give it to the doctor/midwife/nurses when you go in and let them know not to offer it unless you ask.

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:34 PM	#6
Miss_Quirky Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: California Posts: 1,216	Personally, I have a back-up birthing partner. This is also because OH might not be around when I go into labour since he is at collage all day, but my friend (who is going to school to be a midwife) knows my requests clearly and will be there in the first parts of labour unless I ask otherwise.

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:35 PM	#7
megrenade Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Oregon, USA Posts: 4,395	well, I've already got a bunch of medical bills piling up.. so a doula is out of the question. and I have nobody else except my OH and my mom.. and my mom lives 8 hours away so if OH or my mom don't make it, I'll be doing it on my own for the most part..

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:42 PM	#8
Miss_Quirky Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: California Posts: 1,216	That's a rough situation...Then I would write out very clearly a simple birth plan, even if you are going in with an open mind. Give it to the nurses straight away (imo I'd even keep a copy in my hospital bag in case they misplace it), I'd imagine they would be considerate of your decisions. Hope they can make it though!

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:43 PM	#9
megrenade Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Oregon, USA Posts: 4,395	I have a birth plan all typed up, it just needs printed

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 15:54 PM	#10
Miss_Quirky Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: California Posts: 1,216	Gotta say, I love my hospital, they have you turn in a birth plan then put it into their computer system so no matter what department I am in the MW's can access it

Status: Offline

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