Labour without a husband/boyfriend or parents/family?

starchild09 · Apr 7th, 2012, 19:59 PM

Has anyone gone through it? I know, although i'm really far away from delivering, i'm wondering how it will feel to be in the delivery room, basically without anyone present. I always dreamed of birth with a husband present, but things didn't quite turn out that way!

Has anyone experienced this? Any advice to prepare to cope with a lonely labour?

naitken · Apr 7th, 2012, 20:26 PM

Hire a doula or a midwife. They'll be with you right through until your LO is out.

Lizzie K · Apr 7th, 2012, 21:44 PM

I was all alone with my youngest. All of the people we had lined up to watch our other two were unavailable so my husband had to just drop me off at the hospital. Luckily, I was only there for about an hour before he was born, so I didn't have time to stress over being alone. As the previous poster said, hire a doula or midwife. If I had known in advance I would have been alone, I would have gone that route.

Crumbsx · Apr 8th, 2012, 14:07 PM

I gave birth to my LO alone in my bathroom, so not exactly in a labour ward but similar. I must of laboured throughout the night (but was asleep and kept waking in pain) then woke up, felt the baby's head, got to the bathroom and delivered her and sorted her out myself.

It was lonely looking back, but instinct kicks in and you do what your body wants/needs in order to safely deliver your baby. You don't think about being alone etc, you just get on with it.

As a PP said, why not get a doula or maybe ask a friend along for support?

Good luck

x

amjon · Apr 9th, 2012, 20:18 PM

Can you ask FOB to be there? My DH helped me to remain calm and for some pain relief, plus help in getting things/ getting up when I needed to. You will probably need help after the birth going to the restroom as well. The pads they gave me required 2 people to be able to put them on.

starchild09 · Apr 9th, 2012, 20:37 PM

Thank you all for your responses. The situation is that this was an unexpected pregnancy after 9 years of being infertile and I have decided, for the best, to stay away from FOB as he turned out to be quite abusive and don't see how he would be of any positive support during pregnancy or when labour comes.

I have a midwife and hopefully, there won't be any complications so I can keep working with her, but hiring a doula is out of the question as i can't afford that cost.

It would nice though if it was a quick labour like you described Lizzie. Won't have time to think of who's not there or going through it mostly in my sleep.

I have a sister who has a very very strong aversion to childbirth and newborn babies, so i know she won't be there. My mother is going through her own health challenges right now and is not too mobile. So I'm really trying to be prepare to do this on my own.

katrinalorien · Apr 9th, 2012, 20:47 PM

I hope that you find someone hun, if not I know you can do it. You already seem to be mentally preparing yourself, and I think a strong mental attitude means a lot to get through things like this.

naitken · Apr 9th, 2012, 21:35 PM

Ask a close friend to be your labor buddy?

SummerFairy · Apr 9th, 2012, 22:51 PM

email your story to local doulas. There may be one out there willing to help you out for free or at a reduced cost. Also look for student doulas as well.

Apr 7th, 2012, 19:59 PM	#1
starchild09 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Montreal, Quebec Posts: 172	Labour without a husband/boyfriend or parents/family? Has anyone gone through it? I know, although i'm really far away from delivering, i'm wondering how it will feel to be in the delivery room, basically without anyone present. I always dreamed of birth with a husband present, but things didn't quite turn out that way! Has anyone experienced this? Any advice to prepare to cope with a lonely labour?

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Apr 7th, 2012, 20:26 PM	#2
naitken Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 312	Hire a doula or a midwife. They'll be with you right through until your LO is out.

Status: Offline

Apr 7th, 2012, 21:44 PM	#3
Lizzie K Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Louisville Posts: 487	I was all alone with my youngest. All of the people we had lined up to watch our other two were unavailable so my husband had to just drop me off at the hospital. Luckily, I was only there for about an hour before he was born, so I didn't have time to stress over being alone. As the previous poster said, hire a doula or midwife. If I had known in advance I would have been alone, I would have gone that route.

Status: Offline

Apr 8th, 2012, 14:07 PM	#4
Crumbsx Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Manchester Posts: 455	I gave birth to my LO alone in my bathroom, so not exactly in a labour ward but similar. I must of laboured throughout the night (but was asleep and kept waking in pain) then woke up, felt the baby's head, got to the bathroom and delivered her and sorted her out myself. It was lonely looking back, but instinct kicks in and you do what your body wants/needs in order to safely deliver your baby. You don't think about being alone etc, you just get on with it. As a PP said, why not get a doula or maybe ask a friend along for support? Good luck x

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 20:18 PM	#5
amjon Other BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: United States Posts: 5,824	Can you ask FOB to be there? My DH helped me to remain calm and for some pain relief, plus help in getting things/ getting up when I needed to. You will probably need help after the birth going to the restroom as well. The pads they gave me required 2 people to be able to put them on.

Status: Online

Apr 9th, 2012, 20:37 PM	#6
starchild09 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Montreal, Quebec Posts: 172	Thank you all for your responses. The situation is that this was an unexpected pregnancy after 9 years of being infertile and I have decided, for the best, to stay away from FOB as he turned out to be quite abusive and don't see how he would be of any positive support during pregnancy or when labour comes. I have a midwife and hopefully, there won't be any complications so I can keep working with her, but hiring a doula is out of the question as i can't afford that cost. It would nice though if it was a quick labour like you described Lizzie. Won't have time to think of who's not there or going through it mostly in my sleep. I have a sister who has a very very strong aversion to childbirth and newborn babies, so i know she won't be there. My mother is going through her own health challenges right now and is not too mobile. So I'm really trying to be prepare to do this on my own.

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 20:47 PM	#7
katrinalorien Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Oklahoma! Posts: 4,213	I hope that you find someone hun, if not I know you can do it. You already seem to be mentally preparing yourself, and I think a strong mental attitude means a lot to get through things like this.

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 21:35 PM	#8
naitken Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 312	Ask a close friend to be your labor buddy?

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 22:51 PM	#9
SummerFairy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: TN,USA Posts: 408	email your story to local doulas. There may be one out there willing to help you out for free or at a reduced cost. Also look for student doulas as well.

Status: Offline

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