Do your research about the massage, you can use certain Rae risk oils that can calm you during labour or you can get ones that encourage contractions.
Just do your homework in general. Midwifes and doctors are not allways right, like that one some one just mentioned on OBEM. holding your breath during contractions can actualy cause your baby to go into distress yet lots if MW still tell women to do it.
Jesus i wont upset at her atall .
I know she doesnt mean it and i like your other half's thingy aout you can do it that mite help me and her .
Im hoping that i will be a good dad especialy as much of a dad as mine was to me.
Oh and i wouldn say anything about wha happens during the birth of me and my OH's son/daughter being born.
Thank you for your avice and help it is verry apriciated
Have discussions beforehand on what she'd like you to do and what type of birth she would like. The biggest thing you need to do is support her. It is hard to know what you need to do before she goes into labor because a lot of labor is instinctual and that is different for everyone. Remember that her hormones will be going all over the place, so at one moment she might want you to touch her or hold her hand, and another moment she will want you away from her for awhile. All those feelings on her part are normal, her body is going through a big change.
I would recommend reading the book The Husband Coached Childbirth. It will give you some good ideas and helpful tips on what your partner is going through and ways to help.
My husband was a superstar at both births.... I knew that he was there for me 100% whatever I wanted. First time i was holding him so hard that his arms were covered in bruises. He got me drinks, he held me, he massaged my back, he stroked my head, he was there. He was always patient and encouraged me the entire way. My second labour was very very fast so intense... and he was spot on when I had a crying moment. He was very perceptive.
All you can do is be there and do as she asks.
My hubby so both our babies being born and like you he wasn't sure if he could do, he cut both cords and he was going to deliver our second but our MW done it instead.
It sounds like you are being such a supportive partner and that is enough.
if i were you i would maybe watch some child birth videos so you know what to expect as for most first time dad they havent seen anything like it before lol, i personally dont know anyone who has fainted but it would be good for you to know what it will look like as my oh says its not a pretty picture lmao !! He watched our first being born but decided to stay above my head for the 2nd one lol good luck !
Howerya Irish Dad to be!!
Good man yourself for asking what your job is during labour!!
I just had my baby in the Rotunda 3 weeks ago and my fella was just amazing!!
little things you can do...
1. feed yourself!! if you're hungry you'll feel faint and tired, you need to be on the ball so have snacks and drinks and if possible grab a sambo!
2. Give her privacy, a girl's dignity is down the swanny during childbirth, truly shocking!! She may need a moment to 'freshen up' several times, especially after her waters go so let her change nighties and undies and you just stretch your legs for 5 mins. If they have to examine her, just ask her does she want you to stay or stand outside for a min...dont go far just give her a bit of privacy! Same with after the baby arrives, its messy, but just fuss over her and the baby and not whats going on downstairs!!!
3. rub, massage, damp facecloth the forehead, offer drinks, mouthwash, lipbalm all that jazz!!
4 Pushing stage!! my fella was fab during this!! I was just nackered and getting upset that i wouldn't have the energy to chin down , sit up, and push down!! He put his arm under the pillows and pushed me forward so that i was completely supported and only had to push and not also have to support myself into half sitting. He also keep on with the 'come on come on nearly there....' 6 pushes and our boy was there!!
5 And lastly keep calm in front of her, if your stressed she will be too! We had baby heart rate problems and things looked dodgy for a while, My fella was really calm and supportive in the room but called family outside. Don't kept texting while ur with her, it can all wait!
Hope that helps a bit, listen to the midwife, they are just brilliant
BEST OF LUCK!!!
Thanks all for the help and where would i get that book ??
And me and my OH have our eye on a little bag it has ( lipbalm,a little cloth like a napkin of somesort and it has different bit and bobs forwhen she goes into hospital
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