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Old Jul 16th, 2009, 13:14 PM   41
My bump
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Sparkle star said it perfectly........."if you havent been there you dont know anything".

I cant imagine how much pain you ladies have suffered.....your all really brave!

x



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Old Jul 16th, 2009, 15:19 PM   42
Sparklestar
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I was so scared, ive never been that frightened in my life. My Oh has been great tho. Thing is you have no choice but to brave its completely out of your control, thats what i found most difficult.

sp xxx

oh and p.s if the Dr at the hospital had called my baby 'products of conception' one more time i'd have ripped her head off!



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Old Jul 16th, 2009, 23:28 PM   43
ellen21
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There are certain things that once you read them you start agreeing with them by noding your head and this was one of them..............this is some how sad to because these are really the sentence that people come up with



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Old Jul 18th, 2009, 17:55 PM   44
ScotGirl
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I've only known a few hours and already heard a few of these.

I guess there isn't really much anyone can say atall to make things better xx



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Old Jul 18th, 2009, 17:57 PM   45
x-amy-x
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'nevermind, you can make 100s more babies'
'it was for the best' the best of what!?!?!?!
'it was in gods plan' hate that one the most



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Old Jul 19th, 2009, 02:55 AM   46
Mrs Doddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparklestar View Post
I was so scared, ive never been that frightened in my life. My Oh has been great tho. Thing is you have no choice but to brave its completely out of your control, thats what i found most difficult.

sp xxx

oh and p.s if the Dr at the hospital had called my baby 'products of conception' one more time i'd have ripped her head off!

I know what you mean - I hate that terminology - I had seen my baby formed with a head, body arms and legs - it was a baby ffs not anything else



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Old Jul 19th, 2009, 03:33 AM   47
Jody R
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These are the things that have been said to us.

"These things happen for a reason."

"It just wasn't meant to be this time."

"You can have another one."

"Is it because of your medication?" - That I stopped taking three years earlier, so no it wasn't.

"You must be one of those people who can only carry boys" - I lost a boy and a girl and it was a midwife saying this.

"You didn't try to steal him did you?" - from a friend who I bumped into unexpectedly and who left me watching her baby in a shop while she fetched something she had forgotten. He was born the day after Elisabeth and was about 6 weeks old.

"How many abortions have you had" - from a doctor. They were NOT abortions!

"You're pregnant again already? How many kids do you want"

"You're having another one? Don't you have a television?" - both of those by someone who knows we lost babies but is lucky enough to forget it.

"You'll get over it. My friend lost a real baby and she's alright now" - stillborn babies are not real apparently.

"I know how you feel. A week before Andrew was born I had a bleed and I thought he'd be born with his fingers missing." - from my MiL, about my DH.

"It's okay to put her picture up because she doesn't look...well, she is still family." - Also MiL about Elisabeth. Doesn't look what? There's no good word to end that sentance.

"Was she born with all of her face?" - MiL again about Elisabeth. She was looking at her photo at the time and could see all her beautiful face.

"If you lose this one you should stop trying."

"I hope you are going to stop now you've got one." - someone deciding if we should try again after Joseph was born safely.

"You can't let him be an only child. Now you've had one healthy one you will probably be alright with another."

"



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Old Jul 23rd, 2009, 13:36 PM   48
scorpiodragon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jody R View Post
These are the things that have been said to us.

"These things happen for a reason."

"It just wasn't meant to be this time."

"You can have another one."

"Is it because of your medication?" - That I stopped taking three years earlier, so no it wasn't.

"You must be one of those people who can only carry boys" - I lost a boy and a girl and it was a midwife saying this.

"You didn't try to steal him did you?" - from a friend who I bumped into unexpectedly and who left me watching her baby in a shop while she fetched something she had forgotten. He was born the day after Elisabeth and was about 6 weeks old.

"How many abortions have you had" - from a doctor. They were NOT abortions!

"You're pregnant again already? How many kids do you want"

"You're having another one? Don't you have a television?" - both of those by someone who knows we lost babies but is lucky enough to forget it.

"You'll get over it. My friend lost a real baby and she's alright now" - stillborn babies are not real apparently.

"I know how you feel. A week before Andrew was born I had a bleed and I thought he'd be born with his fingers missing." - from my MiL, about my DH.

"It's okay to put her picture up because she doesn't look...well, she is still family." - Also MiL about Elisabeth. Doesn't look what? There's no good word to end that sentance.

"Was she born with all of her face?" - MiL again about Elisabeth. She was looking at her photo at the time and could see all her beautiful face.

"If you lose this one you should stop trying."

"I hope you are going to stop now you've got one." - someone deciding if we should try again after Joseph was born safely.

"You can't let him be an only child. Now you've had one healthy one you will probably be alright with another."

"
Can I be frank and say... WTF?! - sorry but I don't understand your MIL! I thought mine was bad...

First off... I want to say to everyone I am so very sorry for all your losses...

A few I heard which I am sure have been mentioned...

"It was God's way"
"It wasn't meant to be"
"It must have had something wrong with it..." followed up with "thank god, it would have been a lot of work down the line"
"better now than later" (as both times were in first trimesters)
"so did your Mom or her mom have this problem too?" HUH?! - is there evidence that miscarriages are hereditary?!
"your fine! it was so early, don't worry you'll have many more!"
"my pyschic told me that I would have 5 grandchildren, it is fine, do you want to go see her?" my MIL!
"are you still upset about that? wasn't it a couple of months ago?"

Anyways... it makes me sick to my stomach, people should just keep their mouths shut!!!



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Old Jul 23rd, 2009, 17:27 PM   49
ScotGirl
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Today I've had...

"Well atleast it happened just now and it wasn't a living thing yet"
"You'll be fine you only knew for a few weeks it wasn't really a part of your life yet if you get me"
"You were too young anyway, you can get on with your life now"

Seriously, WTF are people all about?? Who would think any of those comments could help.



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Old Jul 24th, 2009, 21:35 PM   50
CurlySue
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From office manager when I phoned to say I would not be in next week since I was awaiting a miscarriage (bear in mind it took me 40 plus months off the pill to get here)"

"You have to look at this positively." (How?) "You can try again" (no, I can't, because I couldn't do this by myself and needed IVF

My mum, handing me a bottle of red wine, "You can have this now, even if it doesn't make up for anything."

My OH's family member - "It was God's will" (There is no fucking God.)

"There must've been something wrong with them, for your body to just get rid of them like that!" (Nice...)



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