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Old Nov 13th, 2012, 10:26 AM   21
angel2010
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I'm so sorry Miizze



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 00:14 AM   22
sweetmommaof2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizze View Post
Well ladies another one of the June babies didnt make it - I found out last night that my 11+2 baby was measuring 7+2 and had no hb - we saw a HB at 6+6 3rd mmc for me and frankly I think ive had enough now - time to count the blessings I do have. Seeing Dr later about options as I have had 1 tiny clot and wipe of blood and that was it, over 24 hrs ago. Have had 2 operations in the past - Mizze x
Oh Mizze! I am so sorry for your loss! I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you find an amazing doctor that can help you. If you ever need to talk just message me!



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 00:29 AM   23
Mizze
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thanks ladies - its a sad thread to belong to but one where we can help each other out a bit hopefully

I feel fine - apart from having no energy and no ability to sleep (gave up at 4am) I also have a stinking cold. But im not grieving and having been through this twice before I know my reaction isnt the same as previously. It doesnt help I think that after that 1 wipe of blood Monday morning and 1 tiny clot about 3 hours later I have NOTHING to show that my baby died - and died a month ago - I hate that, I really hate (I remember last time being FILLED with rage about this) that my body betrays me by lying to me about being pregnant when im not. I hate it gives me symtoms - my nausea was almost constant and certainly daily until Sunday ffs!

But all of that is something I can think about dispationately - im not FEELING anything really - ive barely cried in the last 36 hrs - and im a huge crier - I cry at everything and I sobbed my way through the first days of both previous mmc's. This time I cried yesterday morning because I realised this time had really hit my husband hard - now (after the birth of our DD whom he adores) he realises what we have lost in a way he simply couldnt understand before and he is grieving hard this time whereas last time his role was to support me in my grief more than anything else.

Sorry this post has gone all rambly!

I am seeing my early preg unit at 10.10 tomorrow - although I have the results of the private scan (seen Monday evening) which confirmed the mmc they want to confirm it for themselves before they talk "options"

Mizzze xx



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 16:08 PM   24
nessaw
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Mizzee am so sorry.

Its amazing how the body carries on with the symptoms.in my case i had them until the day of the scan.the day after they were gone.i suppose the brain kicks in and takes charge.

Am just so sorry that any of us have ended up in this thread.love to u all x



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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 06:54 AM   25
Mizze
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Good night's sleep last night - courtesey of Night Nurse - but feel a little groggy today - I had my first tablet at the hospital this morning and have to go back Saturday for the rest. I was a bit shocked when the nurse said that if I started bleeding heavily in between then could I save it and bring it in with me so they could see if id passed all of the pregnancy - that shook me I have to say. Frankly I have no idea whether I can do that. Even in hosptial I have to take a bedpan with me when I go to the loo so they can examine what is happening. Im not at all sure id have chosen this route if I knew that yesterday.

Anyway - the disconnect continues - I was able to chat unconcernedly with the 4th yr medical student who asked for an interview - its not as though its happening to someone else but it is as though the loss isnt touching me. Weird and a bit odd to be honest -I wasnt like this with the previous losses at all

I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be to all

Mizze x



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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 09:04 AM   26
cupcake1981
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Hey Mizze

I joined the June 2013 PAL thread a few weeks into my pregnancy, but left quickly again as a few girls were having spottimg and stuff and it was scaring me as I'd had a loss b4. I still pop on that thread occasionally to see how everyone's doing and saw your sad news the other day. I sadly lost my baby 2 weeks ago, my second mmc, this time at 9 weeks and baby only 8+3. Mmc is torture isn't it. I don't trust my body at all anymore, although the scary post operative bleeding I had was enough to convince me that I NEVER want to go through a natural mc either.

I'm so sorry you find yourself here hun, I hate that I'm back in the miscarriage forum again. It totally sucks.

You have a child dont you? Take comfort in having her around. Mcs are awful, awful things, but they are even worse if you can imagine it when youve don't have a child already.

Hugs xxx



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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 11:54 AM   27
bluebird
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Cupcake and Mizze- I'm so sorry. Big hugs to the both of you, I had a MMC that we discovered last Wednesday at 11 weeks. This is so hard, I miss my June baby so so so much.



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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 12:40 PM   28
Mizze
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mmc's are the pits - after my second one I wanted my Faith back so I could march down to the local church and scream blue murder at my priest! I felt so betrayed by my body

This time Im numb - I didnt trust my body this time round I have learnt it lies to me in pregnancy and this time the lie was really powerful as my nausea mirrored the successful pregnancy (my third) with my daughter lulling me into a false sense of security as it was so much stronger than with my previous miscarriages. But this time I know all this but there is no emotion to go alongside the knowledge.

Cupcake is right though, in some ways its far easier because I have a child. In other ways its harder because she might now never know the joy of a sibling in the way DH and I (who are so close to our families) do and I know DH finds this mc harder because he really grasps what we have lost this time.

Mizze xx



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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 12:48 PM   29
bluebird
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This is so so hard. How old is your little girl? Mine is 16 months and I want her to have a sibling so badly. I was so excited for her to have a little brother/sister just 2 years younger than her.... It would have been so much fun for the two of them. It hurts so much that we were given that gift and now its gone.
I hope you don't give up and I hope that you are able to give that priceless gift to your daughter one day.



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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 23:42 PM   30
sweetmommaof2
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Had a hard past two days... first on tuesday one of my friends that are preggers with a june baby had her dating ultrasound and her baby was a week and a half behind what mine was... it hurt because I heard her say just a few weeks before she got preggers that she didn't want another baby and now she is super excited (she got pregnant while using bc)... then yesterday was my follow up which was suppose to be my dating ultrasound... I am happy for her but it breaks my heart on why couldn't I be enjoying these joys with her... Yesterday was my follow up to check and make sure everything is ok... Everything checked out ok... there was still some blood in my uterus so she said I will probably start spotting again soon... they also seen my uterus is completely flipped backwards, they said that wouldn't do anything in my pregnancy except make it so I don't show til the 20 week mark... she said that she doesn't want me to do anything til I have had 3 normal cycles... yay fun... she said it could take up to 4-6 weeks for my #s to drop down to the 5 or less mark... got the results of that today and it was good news... well not really but it is for what has all happened... it has already dropped down to 8.4 so a lot faster that what the normal is then... hugs and love to all...
Just wanted to say yes this is a sad thread... I made it because I wanted to be able to talk about what had happened and how I feel and also find out what others are going through and maybe we can help eachother and I feel none of you would judge me if I posted something sad... hugs ladies and will be praying for all of you



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