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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 08:34 AM   1
Missingbaby3
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D&C & Grieving


Hi, I'm new to this website & I was reading threads on how fast to start trying after having D&C. My husband & were excited for our second Dr. Appt to hope of hearing our babies heart beat for the first time . After check up went well she tried to listen for it, she was having a hard time finding it & stated that there was a lot of static which were signs of movement & she wasn't alarmed. We spoke to her about having triple screen ultrasound done to make sure there were no signs of downs or other chrosomal defects. She said schedule that for early next week & asked if that was ok to wait til then to hear heartbeat. We agreed that was fine. When we got ready to schedule we would have to wait 2 weeks due to the holiday coming up. I insisted to have a ultrasound done before leaving, I didnt want to worry about the whole no hearing heartbeat. We got in and found out that our baby was only at 7w4d and I was 11w4d. It didn't make sense & then she said that there was no heartbeat. We were devistated & crushed! We were so upset & the doctor scheduled the D&C for later that afternoon. D&C went well & I am now wondering where to go from here with grieving & trying to pick up the pieces. I just want to be healed & it only the 1 day post op. I just want my baby back & feel so empty. All I can think of is when can we try again?!? :'(



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 08:37 AM   2
victoria7790
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I'm so sorry, I have my D&C scheduled for tomorrow. I know its hard to move on when you have already made so many plans around the new arrival. For me and hubby its just a case of talking it all out and trying to come to terms with a different future. We plan on starting to try again early new year so it can feel like a fresh start. Praying for you x



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 08:45 AM   3
Missingbaby3
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Thank you for your prayers! Good luck with you procedure tomorrow. Out of all of this I guess the D&C was the easy part. I was out completely & didn't feel a thing. Dr. took on 15 mins & I was back in the recovery room waking up a couple of mins after being wheeled it. I had bleeding & slight cramping. Nothing unbearable. The staff was very good to me! Waking up feeling empty was the bad part along with not feeling so well stomach wise. It's hard to believe I was approaching the end of my first trimester & was supposed to be in the clear! Still feels like its a bad dream. Everything was perfect so we thought. :'(



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 08:48 AM   4
victoria7790
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I know what you mean about it being a bad dream. Last night I relived it all again and woke up at 1am unable to get back to sleep. It's so hard when the future changes so quickly. We just got to keep praying we get our beautiful babies soon x



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 09:14 AM   5
Missingbaby3
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I'm 36 years old & feel like I'm running out of time & as the list of complications grows as the older you get. My Hubby & I got married Aug. 17 & we started trying right away in September & it stuck right way. I wanted to time it out to have a summer baby so that i could be home with my 2 other daughters & the baby. We were so excited to have it happen right away. In late Aug/Sept I found out that my dad had terminal cancer, so I was able to tell him the news of our pregnancy before he passed away on Oct. 17. I thought that the baby was meant to happen with everything that went on. It was too perfect.



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 09:22 AM   6
Missingbaby3
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How far along were you & how did u know about your miscarriage? I'm so sorry about your loss & I have faith that we will be pregnant again soon! Are you going to try right away? I heard on other posts & from my doctor that we're to wait 2 weeks to heal for intercourse & then to have another menstral cycle & then start trying the next month. Part of me want to rush into it again to make this pain go away & part of me wants to enjoy my marriage & want until Sept to try again for a summer baby. I wanted to look for a new job but stopped looking due to the pregnancy and it's hard enough getting a new job let alone telling them that your pregnant, decreasing the odds of being hired. So many factors that my head is spinning.



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Old Nov 14th, 2012, 14:16 PM   7
Topanga053
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DH and I tried again immediately after my D&C (we waited the 2 weeks for intercourse, but not for my next period). We didn't conceive. At the time, I was beyond devestated. I had a breakdown almost as big as when I first learned that our pregnancy wasn't viable.

Now, about 1.5 months later (still not pregnant), I think it was a really good thing it didn't happen right away. As much as I desperately want to be pregnant again, I'm finding that it takes a long time (at least for me!) to heal emotionally from the loss. I want to make sure that I have time to grieve for our loss, not just "replace" it with a new baby. I realize now that my compulsive need to have another baby RIGHT AWAY was actually PART of my grieving period. It was my mind trying to protect itself and trying to replace the loss instead of actually acknowleding and accepting it.

I've read some women who have said that a new pregnancy doesn't take away the feelings of grief, if you haven't worked through them. And I want to make sure that I have the happiest pregnancy possible.

Every woman is entirely different and you might be more than ready emotionally to get pregnant again now. I'm just providing another point of view because I felt exactly the way you did right after my D&C, but I realize now that I was definitely NOT ready to get pregnant again that quickly.

Whatever happens, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this because I know how much it hurts. You will feel empty, probably for awhile; this grief hurts like hell. But you will somehow carry on and I hope that whenever you get pregnant, it's a safe, healthy, happy pregnancy.

xoxoxo



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Old Nov 15th, 2012, 11:18 AM   8
bluebird
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Im so sorry for your loss Missingbaby3, my story is almost identical to yours. I had a D&C 6 days ago and day 2 was the ablsolute worst for me. It looks like you are on day 2 right now, how are you doing?? How are you feeling?? Know that you are not alone in this.
Topanga, I am starting to feel that desperation for another pregnancy to fill the void in my heart. Thank you so much for your post, now I'm aware that I need to really look closely at this feeling and see if its right to start trying again so soon.



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Old Nov 17th, 2012, 22:34 PM   9
green turtle
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I had a MC in the middle of September (at 7 weeks) and got pregnant again immediately. (I have PCOS so we weren't trying, I just didn't imagine that I would ovulate.)

We were really excited to be pregnant again, but we had another MC at 8 weeks.

Now I have had several doctors and medical staff tell me that it is very important that we wait at least 6-8 weeks before we try again.

They want to make sure that the uterine environment is a hospitable as possible for the next one.

That isn't to say that you can't get pregnant with a healthy little one right away.

This time we are going to take precautions and see if the third time is a charm.

Good luck either way.



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