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Old May 29th, 2013, 20:08 PM   11
amytrisha
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Just a phone call away



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Old May 30th, 2013, 08:51 AM   12
Topanga053
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Originally Posted by TTCabundle View Post
My due date would have been August 27tg and it just seems to be coming quicker and quicker, I can't stop thinking about how things should be right now. I've distanced myself from everybody because I can't standthe updates on their children/pregnancys. People want to know why we are not ttcagain, but I don't think I could handle the pain of another loss. I should have children now, a family, but instead its just me and oh, like it always will be as it seems. I should be spending xmas with a 3 month old, it still hurts soo much. I tell people that you get used to the pain, but thruthfully it hurts more and more each time. I dont even talk to my best friend anymore because I don't want people to realise how weak.I.actually am iykwim?! It sounds so strange now. Everything about babies/children hurts so much. I just wish the feeling would piss off.
I dont even know why I'm.writing this, I just feel like I needes too.
I'm so sorry. My due date was St. Patrick's Day. It was awful to be thinking about my lost angel, while everyone else was drinking and celebrating. Part of me has found it to be easier now that my due date has passed because that was really the last milestone I had to dread.

Do whatever you need to do to heal. If you need to distance yourself, then do it. However, if you haven't already, you might want to share with your pregnant/new parent friends what you're going through and that you can't handle a lot of updates from them. My best friend and I got pregnant the same week and were going to do a joint maternity shoot; then I miscarried. For a long time, seeing her was excrutiatingly painful. I would cry on my way to see her and then again when I left. However, I told her how I felt about it all and she was AMAZING. She was really my rock through this whole experience. Like you, I told her that I felt weak for still being so upset at seeing her. Her response completely shocked me: "You're not weak. You're the strongest person I know. You have been going to work. You have been kicking ass at a difficult job, while dealing with this loss and TTC again. I could never have done what you're doing."

Sky is right-- true strength is not feeling no pain, but continuing on despite the pain.

We're all been given a shitty hand (as one of my other close friends says, "mother nature is being a complete dick to you"), but we are all strong, amazing women. We're amazing mothers to our angel babies, just as one day we will be amazing mothers to our rainbows. In the meantime, know that you're not alone. There are thousands of women around the world sharing your pain and we are ALL here for you!



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Old May 30th, 2013, 10:31 AM   13
skyesmom
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Originally Posted by Topanga053 View Post

Sky is right-- true strength is not feeling no pain, but continuing on despite the pain.

We're all been given a shitty hand (as one of my other close friends says, "mother nature is being a complete dick to you"), but we are all strong, amazing women. We're amazing mothers to our angel babies, just as one day we will be amazing mothers to our rainbows. In the meantime, know that you're not alone. There are thousands of women around the world sharing your pain and we are ALL here for you!
topanga you made me laugh my ass off with this! it's one of those wobbly days for me so really thank you from the bottom of my heart!
and your best friend rocks, really!!

girls, you're all wonderful!



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Old May 30th, 2013, 15:39 PM   14
Topanga053
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Hahaha I'm so glad it made you laugh! It made me laugh too! I have a feeling I'll be thinking of that anytime I have a bad day now!



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Old May 31st, 2013, 16:12 PM   15
TTCabundle
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Thankyou ladies! I'm feeling slightly better today, must be the sunshine ha! Everything you all say is soo true and has helped me so much so thank you!
How is everyone? Xx



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Old May 31st, 2013, 20:52 PM   16
skyesmom
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good, although i had to explain to two of my friends today who came out with a bit unfortunate phrases such as: "i hoped you were involved in your work projects when you wrote me you were busy and that you weren't thinking about your baby anymore" and "you are stuck in the past and you have to let go"...

...that careers and projects don't replace people, and other people don't replace them either. and that thinking of my son and his father the first thing when i wake up and the last before i fall asleep are the things that fill my heart and make me happy more then anything else. and that insensitive comments like those make me feel like i have no right to love my family, and that i don't think it's right to label this love as something negative. and that i don't ask them to understand, since they can't, but that i adamantly ask them to pay their deepest respect they're ever capable of to me for loving my family, and to my family too.

i'm a bit of a lionesse when it comes to somebody saying anything against my closest family, no matter how hard our relationships can be sometimes - i love my closest ones for who they are before loving them for what they do; and yes like every family we had our share of shit and we all hurt each other, but.. it is OUR shit. and we love our shit. and won't take any shit about us and our shit



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