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Old Jul 7th, 2013, 09:34 AM   11
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I totally agree. We had some bad interactions too. Am trying to hold on to the memories of the people who were kind and understanding. There were some of those too. OH is still berating the negative ones. They need to be more understanding. Definitely. Even I cannot forget the second home midwife discharge visit. When I said I was feeling down, she asked why...3 times while I gaped at her. baby just died at 21+6!

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Old Jul 7th, 2013, 12:25 PM   12
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Having spoken to friends over the lose of my baby, I was asking her how a nurse doing that job for 10 years for example, have the sympathy for each and every mother? Now I did not have a bad experince in hospital. The staff sat on my bed and found time to speak to me which i liked. They closed my curtains to let me have a cry. The only thing I did not like to hear was how I should try straight away, hearing from the doctor was fine but all the staff said it. I told them after time I will, I want to grief first.

Now it was before I got pregnant on my 1st round of clomid the doctor was so unprofessional. Now I was an emotional wreak. I didnt take my period but test was negative. I was that bad I was testing twice a day and cried when I saw baby clothes. Now this doctor turns to me and ask who my gyno was...."oh hes lovely, I know him well he delivered our son!" ACTUALLY did I need to hear that...NO. She was even that snobby she said I was to stop looking the internet, she was the "PROFESSINAL"! I understand she was happy but that wasnt the time and place to show it.
Oh after I miscarried I went to hospital due to my bleeding and was asked why I didnt bring the sac???? First I heard and hardly top of my list when I couldnt get of toliet for 2 hours.
I went off on one there but over all I was please with the staff. I even spend 4 hours making thank you gifts

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Old Jul 7th, 2013, 18:13 PM   13
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Whew, so I'm not the only one who's had to deal with a terrible experience after a miscarriage. I'm probably m/c as I type (light cramping and pinkish brown cm since this morning) even thought I requested nicely (and later DEMANDED) a D&C.

Tuesday afternoon, I went in for an u/s to check on a hematoma behind my 14 week baby's placenta. The u/s tech was very quiet and suddenly got up, said I need to show these to the radiologist, and scurried away. I knew immediately that something was wrong and figured it was the hb. (This is the second time this scenario occured to me by the way and it leaves me sitting in a darkened u/s room ALONE for up to fifteen minutes.) The tech came back and wouldn't look me in the eye. I asked if she found a hb. She said no. Tears came, she gave me a hug, and sent me to the on-call OB dr's office to talk about what to expect. I was told by the seemingly understanding doctor (not my regular doctor) that the baby was measuring only a few days smaller than my 14+2, the hematoma was gone, and what would I like to do? I requested a D&C as I was so far along. She would be scheduled as soon as possible and someone would be calling me 'soon'. So I went home in tears to wait for the phone to ring. Which it didn't. Finally, Wednesday afternoon, after not hearing anything for 24 hours, I called in to leave a message only to find out 1. the doctor I saw the previous day wasn't in until Friday, 2. she never scheduled the D&C or left any notes to say that she was planning to, and 3. she had to take care of it as she was the doctor treating me so I couldn't even get in at the OB/GYN for the D&C unless she gave the go-ahead! The last one I found out from a very rude receptionist who, despite hearing why I needed a D&C, treated me like an idiot. So I waited some more. Thursday noon the phone FINALLY rang. It was the doctor saying sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, I needed to talk to the OB/GYN first and he recommends you m/c naturally so I didn't schedule the D&C. I could have slapped her. When I demanded a D&C because I was terrified of m/c a 14 week fetus at home and just wanted it over with, she said she'd do the best she could to get me in the next day. Friday morning, I didn't eat anything in case they called because I know you can't get knocked out if you've eaten within the last seven hours. I expected a phone call by noon. It wasn't until 3pm!!! before the nurse from the doctor's office called to tell me the EXACT SAME THING the doctor had told me the day before. That was it. I lost it on the phone talking with the sweetest nurse ever. I felt so bad reaming her out when it was the doctor I wanted to slug. I apologized and she said it was okay, she'd feel the same way I did if she were in my shoes. She even went on to explain what would happen with the D&C as I've never had one and offered to call right away if the OB/GYN called the office again. Fast forward to today-Sunday-and I'm cramping/spotting/pretty sure I'm going to m/c here at home sometime tonight or tomorrow and STILL not scheduled for my D&C. I was just so upset because I was made to wait for everything-phone calls, scheduling, even for the doctor to come into the room and talk to me! (I waited 20 minutes for her...) I even told the doctor, I usually m/c within a week, if not hours, of being told I'm going to m/c. If you don't get me in before the end of the week, I am going to m/c AT HOME over the weekend and I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!!! I have two little kids at home and my DH is extremely busy at work right now so he can't take time off to be at home with me. Everything I've seen and heard from women who have had a 2nd tri loss and went naturally, was that it was horribly painful and there was a very high chance of complications-usually excess bleeding that landed the woman in the ER. I just didn't want to deal with the whole thing and wanted it over with. Plus, it's unnerving to walk around KNOWING there's a dead baby floating around inside you. I knew I couldn't finish healing or grieving until this was over and I TOLD the doctor that but, while she agreed with me, she didn't DO anything about it.

I am so upset because I feel I was forced into an unnecessary situation despite my repeated and frantic efforts to have it go otherwise. I felt ignored and forgotten about. I can't wait to talk to my regular doctor this week. She has been a dream and I know, if she hadn't been on vacation this last week, I would not be in the situation. She would have at least kept me in the loop and called EVERY DAY to let me know what was going on, even if she couldn't get me scheduled right away. And I will be writing a letter to the hospital about the doctor I saw on Tuesday complaining about the treatment I've received this week.

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Old Jul 8th, 2013, 05:03 AM   14
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I am so sad reading all your stories about the awful experiences during such a traumatic time.

Its awful that people who work in the proffesion don't treat us with any empathy and we're just a name on a list.

I haven't gone through anything as bad as you ladies when I've had my 3 MC's.

The first 2 were natural and my doc's were lovely, taking my bloods and sending me for internal scans to make sure everything was Ok, even though they're supposed to wait until you've had your third my doc could see how upset I was and wanted to help. Bless him.

I have recently moved house and so had to move docs and OMG she was awful.

I had a MC at 6w5d exactly like the other 2. i went to the docs because i was still spotting after 2 weeks and as this is my 3rd MC could I be referred to a specialist at the hospital. this is the conversation we had:

me: "i'm worried because I'm still spotting 2 weeks after my MC.
doc "how do you know you were pregnant?
me: " i did a test and it came back positive and i was over a week late"
doc: "well tests can be wrong"
me : " i did two, one clear blue and one boots own make. 3 days apart to be sure"
doc " well because you didn't come in and let me do the test i can't confirm you were pregnant so I can't refer you"

WAS SHE SERIOUS??? I am a 33 year old woman who has already had a child. I know when my period is late and I get a positive test back that I'm pregnant.

She said the next time to make an appt as soon as I got my positive test and she would "see what she could do"

I was so upset at this point and was near to tears, I asked her at what point would she help me after 4th, 5th or 6th MC!

I was astounded at her lack or empathy or feeling to what i was going though. and on her docs website she is down as being a specialist herself in fertility and maternity care!!! yeah right.

i am now going to move docs as i cannt face seeing that Doc again.

sorry for the rant, i just had to get it off my chest

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Old Jul 8th, 2013, 14:23 PM   15
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I know. I was some bleeding I was worried about after a m/c. It wasn't soaking a pad every hour heavy bleeding, more like moderate af bleeding but heavier than it should have been 3 weeks after a doctor-confirmed m/c at 9 weeks and I was noticing a funny smell when I went to the bathroom. I was panicking thinking infection in my uterus so I went in to get checked out. My dr wasn't in so I saw a physician's assistant who asked if it hurt when I went pee. I said no but I was still cramping slightly (another red flag) from the miscarriage. I even told her straight out I wanted an u/s to confirm my uterus was clear. Somehow, despite all my talk about my recent miscarriage and my requests for an u/s, she latched onto this idea that I had a bladder infection. She had ordered a quick test to check for a bladder infection and the results came back negative but shew as SO convinced that was my issue, she ordered a culture and wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic. I never filled it as I wanted to confirm I needed it first. The next day I called my regular doctor who said my symptoms sounded normal, even if they weren't normal for me but if I was still bleeding in a week, I should call her and get in. I stopped bleeding that day but ended up paying $75 for unnecessary tests. I should add this same lady diagnosed a VERY BAD and VERY OBVIOUS case of thrush as strep throat (again despite testing showing otherwise) and gave my sister an antibiotic which only made her thrush even worse. She went in to see her regular doctor two days later when she literally couldn't even swallow water and the dr was simply STUNNED the physician's assistant hadn't caught my sister's thrush.

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