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Old Jul 30th, 2013, 08:45 AM   1
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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getting more and more angry...

As I talk to more of my friends about my situation, I get angrier about what I went through.

I am 38 and this would have been my 1st child...

Waiting to get clearance from my specialist:
- I have Crohn's Disease and had to get the ok from my Gastroenterologist
- regardless of the fact that I told his receptionist several times that I only needed his clearance to start trying, that my clock was ticking and I was getting older (I'm 38 but was 36) she took about 12 months to get me an appt
- regardless of the fact that I was able to get the MRI of my gutt he wanted before giving me the green light within much less than the 6 months expected time, she refused to get me in within 2 weeks like promised and so I had to wait 6 more months.
So in total it took me about 19 months to even get the okay to start trying just because of waiting. My baby clock went from the size of big ben (I cried a lot in frustration) to a wrist watch during this time.

The lack of information and support from my GP.
- he was supposed to have sent a referral to an OBGYN after my first visit as I am high risk...but he didn't until after my mom (she's a nurse) got involved.
- he did not even do a 1st trimester full exam. Didn't even know I needed one until his MOA (medical office assistant) asked me why it hadn't been done after about 11 wk follow up. I was only in his office because of bleeding.
- I didn't go for an US until after I was bleeding but I read about people having an US at 8 weeks

Lack of information and general confidence in the US technician:
- he didn't speak to me throughout the US to explain what he was doing
- he was moving the "wand" (don't know the technical term) more than stopping
- he only turned the sound on for maybe 5 seconds to listen for a heart beat
- he didn't explain why he left my poor dh outside waiting to come in (he was never invited in)
- he discharged me without explaining anything. When I asked if I could get a picture he just said I had to see my doctor. I cried driving home and had to call back to confirm I was supposed to leave.

Forced D&C without any explanation:
- I wanted to get a 2nd US to confirm the mc because of my lack of confidence in the technician (mostly because he told me nothing). This was planned to happen 2 wks later per my GP. I also read about people who had a 2nd US and they found a heartbeat. I wanted this.
- then I get a call saying I had to get a d&c before I could see the OBGYN for a 1st time. The d&c was scheduled for the next morning. I was told this at work and was crying at work. Had to get my mom to call the OBGYN's office and she said she tried to delay the d&c and was told too bad they already bumped someone. NO explanation why it was so urgent.
- when I brought up my concerns to the surgeon/OBGYN about the US he just told me that the clinic I went to is good.
- NOW a friend of mine told me that her surgeon/OBGYN made sure she did an US to confirm no heartbeat just before her d&c. Why would he not do this to help with my concerns. I was waiting at the hospital for 2 hours as he was delayed. There would have been time.

Rude MOA at surgeon's office:
- I called the OBGYN who did the d&c to let them know I was concerned about suddenly starting to bleed more, plus a lot of cramping that was so bad it kept me up the night before. The MOA told me that she "can't tell me what I should do" (in a snotty voice) and "if I am worried I should go to the hospital". I told her (in a nice voice) I didn't want to waste hospital time if this is nothing. She said the same response again but then agreed to get the surgeon to call me. He said it was strange but fine.

Oh and I also found out my uterus was "huge" due to multiple small fibroids and one 5cm one. I am now waiting for an internal US (booked mid Aug) and then waiting for the actual 1st appt w/ the OBGYN that I was referred to (thanks to my mom's involvement since my GP did nothing)

I tell my mom about how much anger I still have because of lack of closure due to me not having full confidence in the US technician and the anger of the rushed d&c and I don't think she understands. She kept saying to me that the d&c will be good as it will give me closure. All it did was make me very angry.

It's been 3 weeks post d&c and I am still angry and crying randomly about my situation. I waited so long to be able to try and had to endure so much lack of support from my GP and then they rush the termination part.

I am a very strong person. I try to be strong and crack jokes at work and home but everything is not okay still.

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Old Jul 30th, 2013, 10:14 AM   2
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Oh and to add to all this I am 3 weeks tomorrow post D&C and I still have discharge, my face is still breaking out and my hair is still falling out in clumps.

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Old Jul 30th, 2013, 11:57 AM   3
Mum (Mom)
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I'm so sorry, Mel. That is beyond awful. There is really no excuse for how you were treated; OF COURSE you're angry. You have every right to be!

After my first US showed I had a blighted ovum, my husband and I asked about getting a confirmation US a week later just be to sure. My OB said she was positive it was a BO (I was supposed to be 8+6, but the sac was measuring at 6 weeks and there was no baby), but we could absolutely wait for a second US to put our minds at rest and that there was no harm in doing a second one. Sure enough, the second US showed the same empty sac, but it was nice to have that confirmation. I really don't understand why they couldn't have given you that extra piece of mind. It's my understanding that a D&C really does not need to be rushed UNLESS you're showing signs of infection.

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. If I were you, I would definitely consider getting some new doctors. You deserve to be seen by more attentive, understanding doctors!!

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Old Aug 2nd, 2013, 00:48 AM   4
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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I am so sorry you had to go through this!! I have to say your experience with the tech is much like the one I had she wouldn't answer any questions and then had the gull to ask me why I was even there! When my ex tried to ask a question she turned off the monitor and said call your doctor and walked away.
I was so upset when I went in to the office that next week I told him how I felt and his response was well its not her job to talk to you. I had been to a appointment before with someone else and their tech was nice and answered questions the whole time,

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Old Aug 2nd, 2013, 08:59 AM   5
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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US technicians need to be compassionate. I understand that they may not be able to or comfortable with giving bad news but I've never had an US for a baby before so explaining what you're doing and showing some compassion would have helped me so much.

Topanga053 - so sorry for your loss and thank you for your comments. I'm glad to know you were able to get the 2nd US and had a doctor who was helpful.

amgraf86 - how horrible! They need to understand that it is an emotional time for us. We're not only hormonal but there is a life growing inside of us.

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