Forum Rules


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Aug 4th, 2013, 00:07 AM   1
cheyenne92
Other
New BnB member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 3

My miscarriage & a poem I wrote


I got pregnant when I was only 15 and had my miscarriage on my 16th birthday this past March. I haven't really opened up to anyone about it so I'm wanting to do that here. It was really hard for me. The miscarriage itself happened very fast during school. I got out of my first period after taking a test and felt like i had heavy discharge and incredible pain. I went to the bathroom between classes and saw it wasn't discharge, but heavy bleeding. I didn't have a cell phone or pads or anything so I had to stay in the bathroom for hours until it seemed safe enough to leave. I saw the baby in the placenta and my emotions just went numb. I had made a decision to keep the baby and finally got comfortable with the fact that i was pregnant and just started enjoying the good things that come with it. Once I got to the hospital, they did an ultrasound to look all around the uterus, and when I saw that my baby really was gone it opened up this gaping hole in the pit of my stomach. For a while, I thought I'd never be able to move on from mourning my child that I never got the chance to meet. I've finally began moving on with life and have reached a stable point in my emotions. I wrote a poem a week after my miscarriage and wanted to share it because I feel like sharing it will help me move on. It's about my decision making thought process, me making my final decision, and the miscarriage. It's not the best writing, but it's what I felt.

My dear baby I am so sorry,
I do not mean to stress you.
With all of this chaos around,
I promise to stay calm for you

I love you more than I've ever loved
Although I have not seen you yet
Our faces do not know each others',
But our souls have already met

I want you more than anything
I want to give you everything

But what selfish desire,
And what an impossible thought
I'd bring you to life here,
And could not provide a lot.

What kind of mother would bring their child
To life in a place as cruel as this
What kind of mother would bring their child
Here to kill their innocence

I'd love to give you the world,
but this world isn't worth much
I'd give everything I own
For your little hands to touch

My dear baby I am so sorry,
I am trying not to stress,
Stick to my promise to relax,
'Cause you only deserve the best

Whether that be here alive or gone
That choice is difficult to make
As you have never done any wrong
But there is so much here at stake

I want you more than anything
I want to give you everything

But what selfish desire,
And what an impossible thought
I'd bring you to life here,
And could not provide a lot.

What kind of mother would bring their child
To life in a place as cruel as this
What kind of mother would bring their child
Here to kill their innocence

I'd love to give you the world,
but this world isn't worth much
I'd give everything I own
For your little hands to touch

Perhaps now is not the best time,
And here is not the best place
A messed up Earth full of hate and crime,
Life seems to only go to waste

Yet my life is already committed
I live no more for me, but for you
I only consider your best interest
In every little thing that I do

Oh, what kind of mother would deny their child
Their life before they even lived
What kind of mother would kill their child
Full of only innocence

I'd love to show you the world,
And all the goodness it brings
I'll bring you here to life
Just to give you everything

I made my decision, but mine it never was.
I can choose my action, but I can't choose what fate does.



Status: Offline
 
Old Aug 4th, 2013, 00:19 AM   2
sunflower82
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,410
I'm sorry for your loss honey nothing is
More hard then a mc how far along were
You I had one in march I was 18 weeks
My due date would be Tom



Status: Offline
 
Old Aug 4th, 2013, 00:51 AM   3
cheyenne92
Other
New BnB member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 3
I was 14 weeks, my due date would've been september 28th. I'm sorry to hear about your loss, I wish you the best for tommorrow and you can talk to me if you need to



Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO