Currently, going through my 3rd loss, being bleeding/spotting since the 21/11 hcg has being up and down, confirmed today it's ectopic and I'm back tomorrow for the injection.
What shall I expect? Will it take a while for it to kick thing off? I only ask as it's both my daughters school xmas play tomorrow afternoon/evening and I'm worrying now x
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know you posted a while ago so hopefully you are through the worst of it.
I had MTX for an ectopic on 1 Nov, my bloods were at 0 in mid December. Physically it wasn't bad (no bleeding or pain, just a bit tired). Emotionally I was a wreck... I kept hearing the "you're still at risk for internal bleeding so if anything changes present to emergency" over and over in my head and even took myself to emergency at one point convinced the pregnancy had ruptured a tube. It hadn't and I calmed down a bit after that.
I found it a very lonely and drawn out process and actually started seeing a psychologist in late December to talk about it which really is helping (only 2 sessions in). Always here if you need xx
Oh, I'm sorry that your tube ruptured, that was my nightmare.
Speaking to the psychologist really helped and (I'm not religious or hippy dippy dream believer) but I also had this really intense dream with a baby boy smiling and this woman telling me he was okay and she was looking after him now. It was one of those very real dreams. Anyway, I was really (really really) sad after that and stayed in bed all the next day but since then it's started getting a bit easier. Like I said goodbye maybe?
My best advice is to talk about it until you feel better; we are entitled to feel our feelings! For me I had to speak to a psychologist because my partner/family didn't (and still don't) appreciate it and refer to it as "all that stuff you went through" and "last year when you were really sick" which isn't helpful.
Is your partner/family/friends supportive? No one seems to get it...
Berri, a lot of visitations happen through dreams as it is one of the easiest ways for the souls in other realms to communicate with us. I truly believe that was your little baby letting you know he is okay. How beautiful xx
Hubby and my sister are really supportive, though my sister is 24 weeks pregnant and due just after what I should be with my 1st loss so I'm struggling at the moment, not jealous in any way, I'm super excited it just hurts like hell, my best friend told me point blank I should give up trying, 3 losses on 6 months apparently my body is telling me to give up.
I don't envy you at all being around your pregnant sister. I was told after a year of testing that I'd never conceive naturally and sure enough it seemed like within weeks of hearing that all my friends were pregnant and while I was happy for them, that did nothing to ease my own pain and that "what did I do wrong" loop kept playing over and over in my head. Granted, I then went on to conceive naturally 3 times (2 boys and this most recent ectopic) so hindsight probably makes it easier but I know that my body was still my same old body when I couldn't conceive, when I did and when it was ectopic.
I don't think that's particularly kind of your friend, it's an awful thing losing a baby (let alone 3) and I don't care how early the loss is, we still grieve (and have a right to). I hope she never has to endure the heartbreak. Let yourself feel what you need to - you don't have to answer to anyone and if you want to keep trying then do.
We are NTNP at the moment (as we have been for most of our marriage) but I'm not sure how I'd feel if I conceived...
My heart that is an awful thing for your friend to say let alone a best friend. Would she just give up!? No I'm sure she wouldn't.
I have had 4 losses now and no one has ever said that. I would be so hurt probably like you are.
Actually the complete opposite has been said to me. They telling me to keep strong and to keep going.
Sending you my best wishes. X
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