Not a day, an hour, or a minute go by that I don't miss my baby boy. I lost him when my miscarriage started at the end of September. Since then I have had terrible days and better(ish) days. In those days, I have had moments and maybe a few hours of feeling happy.
This morning, I woke up - wide awake at 4am, so I flipped channels and found that Face Off (the movie) was on...since I hadn't watched it in a long time, i thought I would have it on and fall asleep. I forgot about the son being killed (thankfully missed that scene) but I did catch the scene where they visit the graveyard - I got teary at that. When the movie ended I brokedown. I haven't cried much for awhile, but I lost it this morning. I miss my baby so so much. I long to be pregnant and feeling him growing. I long to stop aching and having a huge hole in me.
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