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Old May 31st, 2017, 19:40 PM   1
dreamingmom
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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My Journey thus far, 4 years TTC, infertility and 3 miscarriages


I decided to start this journal to tell my story as I can't find any threads that hit all cylinders of what I have experienced. I am open to any suggestions and advice and am also hoping to help others who read this thread.
DH and I started TTC on our wedding night July 2013. Since I was a young I knew my purpose was to be a mother. I love kids and couldn't wait to be old enough to have my own. My mother had no trouble concieving and carrying my sister and I so I believed the same would be true for me. Boy was I wrong!!! After just shy of one year of TTC DH and I started to realize there might be an issue. DH got tested first. We found out he had low mobility and a varicose vein that was creating a climate that was too warm to produce active sperm. So he had surgery to fix the varices. The doctor came out after his surgery and told me I should be pregnant in 2-3 months. Great, Problem fixed!! I had my first pregnancy shortly after his surgery on my thirteen cycle of trying. I was so excited to see that second line, and started to think about what it would be like to be pregnant and what it would be like to have a child..... The second line was extremely light but it was there, so what could go wrong now? I had read on another thread that the line will get darker after a few days so I tested again 3 days later on August 20, 2014, I had gotten sick that morning so I figured my hormones were getting stronger. I was shocked when I read the test, not only had the line NOT gotten darker but it was gone, completely gone. I called the nurse line at my doctor's office right away but had to wait a few hours for anyone to get back to me. At this point, I had started to spot and was not feeling well at all, not to mention that I was scared about what this all meant. The nurse finally got back to me and I explained all of my symptoms and the negative test. She laughed it all off (literally laughed at me) telling me the spotting was most likely because I had had sex, that I shouldn't worry about the negative test and to call back only if the bleeding got worse and was accompanied by pain. I had not had sex in weeks because I was so bloated and uncomfortable even before my BFP so I knew this was not the case but I listened to the nurse and tried not to worry. By later in the afternoon, I was bleeding heavy and my back and thighs hurt so bad. I now realize my body was also experiencing symptoms of shock as I started to miscarry. I had called back the nurse line and they finally got back to me and begrudgingly accepted my pleas to get a blood test just around the time my DH was returning from work. Right before we left for the hospital I passed a few small clots and one large long one. I knew it was over at that point and just sat in the bathroom and cried. DH took a picture of what I had lost for the doctors and we went off to the hospital for bloodwork just to be sure. The next morning I went to my OB office and was treated by the same nurse I had been in contact with the day before. She told us my HCG numbers were only about 45 so I was never really pregnant. Despite this I knew better so DH and I insisted on an ultrasound to make sure that everything had passed. Thank God for those pictures or once the ultrasound tech saw them she instantly saw me. Not once did I get to see a doctor during this pregnancy but with the timing and visuals the nurse finally admitted it was most likely a blighted ovum. DH and I did not want to give up so we kept going. After a few more months with no results we did a infertility work up, progesterone and other fertility hormones(can't remember exactly) was checked and HSG Test was completed. All came back fine. So we started on our IUI journey. After 2 failed IUI's at my original OB office, I was feeling lost and the staff continued to treat me like a number not a person so I changed offices and had one more IUI, unfortunately this one failed as well. DH went back to his urologist who wanted to preform another surgery and made no mention of the magic pills he told me about so DH went to a new urologist that specialized in infertility for a second opinion and luckily found out surgery was not needed. It was now 2016, 3 years after we started trying, with no where else to turn I started Acupuncture. After my first session, I was pregnant again!!! I was worried about another loss but after the first few weeks I was starting to feel better and have hope again. At my 8 week ultrasound I was so excited to hear the heart beat but I never did get a chance. There were two yolk sacs but no embryonic stems and no heart beats. The midwife was concerned but not overly worried at this point and told me to come back a week later. Second ultrasound showed only one yolk but there was a stem this time. The doctor I saw this time was less optimistic, he seemed to think I was too hopeful and literally would not let me leave the office until I told him I was being "cautiously optimistic." One more week passed and we had another ultrasound, this time there was no growth and no chance that this pregnancy was viable so I scheduled my first D and C. I had hoped for some answers from the testing but the only results at this point were immature placenta. I continued with acupuncture and 5 months after my D and C I was once again pregnant. This time I was more scared, but really how could this happen to me again. Again I set off for my 8 week ultrasound hoping to hear the heartbeat. There was more growth with this pregnancy there was a yolk and embryonic stem but no heartbeat, growth was about 7 weeks, it was another missed miscarriage. We did one more ultrasound to be sure and then scheduled my second D and C. This time genetic testing was done and we found out our daughter had Trisomy 22 ( an extra 22nd chromosome). As a result DH and I had our chromosomes tested with Kerotyping and found out that I have no imbalances, we are still waitng on DH's results. After 3 miscarriages I am now considered high-risk and was referred to Boston/Albany IVF. To see one of their specialists. I had my appointment this morning. I hoped the specialist would have some answers or a clear plan. DH could not come because of his work schedule but I now wish he was there. There was so much information I wish he was able to hear it first hand. The doctor reviewed my tests and suggested that we may want to do another full infertility work up, he also stated that he felt we should be able to still have a healthy pregnancy based on the results he has. He explained IVF but since my insurance does not cover any part of IVF treatments he does not suggest treatment right away and thinks we should continue to try on our own. I agreed that I could give it one more try but after that I would definitely consider IVF. I asked about scarring and infertility chances related to the repeated D and C. He said D and Cs are relatively safe but did suggest a sonihystogram to check for scarring on the uterus if I was concerned. So Although I don't think this appointment gave me the answers I was hoping for and I am still confused by somethings that the doctor said. I guess we are going to give it one more round of TTC naturally and pray that I get pregnant again and have a healthy baby.



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Old Jun 2nd, 2017, 10:24 AM   2
Sweetkat
Mum (Mom)
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Very sorry for your losses. I have had 3 miscarriages and one chemical pregnancy and have one DD.

I just wanted to say that the issue your husband has (the vein that he had surgery for) often leads to high sperm DNA fragmentation which in turn leads to chromosomal issues with the embryos.

That's what I have been told - my OH has 51% fragmentation and my losses were all chromosomal. I was also told to keep trying naturally or do IVF with ICSi with IMSI with PGD - but that per cycle there are more chances of a live birth trying naturally.

I am TTC this cycle after a chemical in December and a D&C last June (always fall quickly just to miscarry). It's terrifying but I have hope.

Big hugs



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